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| Looks innocent, doesn't she? |
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: When Ross and I were starting out married life, one thing we agreed on was having kids. We had both experienced being folded into large, seven-member families, and we talked about shooting for four or five kids ourselves.
Dear readers, I'm here to tell you it was a mercy that never happened, because I'm living in a house with four dogs and two cats - no opposable thumbs to open doors, no diapers, no meal prep other than scooping out of a bag - and I am utterly overwhelmed.
In part, it's because these animals have the kind of seemingly random personality types you used to see in those 1970s disaster movies. You know: there's the nun, and the conman, and the rich guy, and the concerned mother, etc.
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| The look of ennui. Or Prozac. |
Janey, is, I guess, that grande dame - she'd be played by Gloria Swanson, who was actually in Airport '75, in case you were wondering. Once a high-spirited (aka prone to run away) bundle of nerves, age and a daily dose of Prozac has mellowed her out considerably. Like a lot of us older ladies, she's put on some weight: my daughter-in-law calls her Miss Chub-Chub.
Kingsley you've read about before, he's the senior of my 'boys.' He would definitely be Ernest Borgnine; the tough older guy who's used to being respected and listened to. He's still quite fit and active; he can race around the dog park (well, at least for one lap) and has no problem with getting all up into the face of upstart youngsters.
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| Their natural habitat: coats, bed and heater. |
Which brings us to two-year-old Karma. Yes, she was named after the Taylor Swift song. Karma is a b----, get it? Karma has the sweet nature of a child who wants to be everyone's friend, inside fifty pounds of solid muscle. She would be portrayed by Andre the Giant, or perhaps Gwendoline Christie, if she could act like she has brain damage.
My daughter-in-law has done her best, but Karma is, shall we say, underperforming on the 'obedience' tests. I have to block-check her with my body in order to bring in poor Rocky, who weighs twelve pounds and whom Karma really really wants to play with.
Rocky will be represented by Roddy McDowell. I don't think I need to say more than that.
Then there are the cats, both of whom are also intensely interesting to Karma. Neko (Elizabeth Taylor) hides away upstairs and hisses dramatically whenever any of the dogs comes close. Which they do, because Karma and Janey, perhaps feeling unsure sleeping over at Granny's house, follow me EVERYWHERE. Making my bed: they're there. Trying to feed the cats: Yep, there. Sitting on the toilet: oh, you know they're there. I'm trapped and can't get away.
Walker, a/k/a the $15,000 kitty (Fred Astaire, natch) is a little bolder, daring to come downstairs and try to resume his usual spot overseeing my work at the laptop. However, I'm periodically interrupted as Karma notices him and chases him all over the place, insisting (in language perfectly understandable to another highly active 50 pound dog) Let's be friends! Let's play! Walker fled beneath the tablecloth and I accidentally stepped on his tail while making lunch. Sorry, old boy.
I'd tell you more, but it's time to round all the canines up and drive a half hour to a dog park so Karma can run around like mad for an hour, which will hopefully lower her energy level enough for all of us to make it through the rest of the day.
Dear readers, have you had adventures in pet sitting?
Pets are in our past, but John had two Golden Retrievers which became our dogs as soon as we were married. They loved to climb the fence and run around the neighborhood at night . . . pregnant me got to chase them down since John was on the night shift with the police department.
ReplyDeleteBut when the Little Ones came along, those dogs were unstoppable guardians . . . as far as Rex and Gina were concerned, those babies could do no wrong . . . but if anything looked the least bit threatening to them, they were right there, standing guard . . . .
I have a feeling Janey and Karma will be like that for little Paulie, Joan.
DeleteWillie Nelson (OK named by his first person who was a truck driver and loved Willie Nelson) came to us when he was four and made us laugh for fifteen years. (Donald O'Connor 'Singing in the Rain') Five weeks ago he had a stroke. Lot's of heartache here in Kittery, Maine, but last week we brought home Sadie an American bulldog mix whose first year was caged and not socialized in an Alabama shelter shut down for a court case. She's learning to believe that she is here and she is alive every day a little more. (Audrey Hepburn, 'Wait Until Dark.'
ReplyDeleteOh I love the names! So happy to hear Audrey is settling in:)
DeleteGreat names, Maren! I love that Maine is SUCH a dog-friendly place we're the go-to destination for many neglected southern pets.
DeleteMaren, I am so sorry to hear about Willie. I hope Sadie settles in quickly. — Pat S
DeleteWe have dogsat a few times. You never know what you are going to get with rescue dogs. Our daughter’s first dog was a doll and gladly accepted us. The two she has now not so much. They basically don’t like anyone but our daughter. They don’t like other dogs either. After several weekends taking care of them at her house I would say they now tolerate us. They are very cute little things so when you have them out for a walk other people try to approach and you have to tell them no you can’t pet them. If they are walking a dog you have to turn and go another way. It was a disaster the one time that maintenance came to the door to come in for pest control and change the furnace filter. All we had to do was put the dogs in the bathroom before letting them in. Cookie cooperated but Oso was having none of it. He started racing around the place and yelping like we were kicking him or something. I mean flying up and over the couch down and around and back over and over again. He was crazy. There was no catching him. The maintenance guys finally just said they would come back another time.
ReplyDeleteOur youngest son’s dog is huge but basically mellow and just wants someone to love him. He actually sits on our son’s lap. It is my husband’s dog to walk him though because if he decided to chase a squirrel or something, I would be dragged off my feet. If his legs were a little longer or mine were a little shorter I could ride him. Once when he was staying at our house I couldn’t find him, which was odd since he was mostly right under foot. I found him lying in the bathtub to cool off.
Our oldest son and his wife have had various different dogs as they fostered them for a rescue in addition to having their own. At one time they were up to 3 dogs of their own, but the two elder dogs have passed away now. We’ve never taken care of them just visited back and forth and keep them in a separate part of the house from our daughter’s dogs when they are all at our house at once.
Now we’ve moved so far away we don’t get to see them. We do miss them…and the kids too.
It sounds like it's your turn to be the pampered visitors now, Brenda!
DeleteGood luck with the menagerie, Julia! Not a dog person here, and and we're down to one cat, which is fine.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'd be perfectly happy with just my two little guys, and part of that is they keep each other company when I'm out running errands, etc. And of course, my Neko-chan, like yours, is the most easy-going cat I can imagine.
DeleteThankfully, the rest of them have a sell-by date!
You're a very kind soul Julia! We have only one of each and that is where John draws the line! I do tell him that if something happens to him, I'll become a crazy pet lady so better stay healthy!
ReplyDeleteTHAT should keep him in line, Lucy!
DeleteLove hearing anyone's animal stories! Especially since I no longer have a dog. Although the kitties try to be proxies for a dog, it is seldom the same thing.
ReplyDeleteThey're very much not, Judi. Each has their own charm (and annoyances!)
DeleteOh, my, Julia. Thatsa lotta pet activity! All those personalities, but the Gwendolyne Christie comment made me choke!
ReplyDeleteWhen my oldest and her husband lived in London for ten months in 2006 we took turns with my mom keeping their two dogs, one at a time. We kept Sebastian the mini collie/Sheltie mix first. He was an amazing athlete, catching anything you could throw for him, no matter how far, and cool as a cucumber. Except around floor registers. Steve tortured him by putting Bastian's ball on the wall side of the register, and the poor pup would bark at it to move, already, so they could play. He could have reached the ball if he would only brave stretching his neck over, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
The other dog, Otis, was a black lab with a personality disorder, younger than Sebastian, and extremely subordinate. He was very nervous, and barked at Steve every single morning when he came downstairs as if they had never seen one another before. The most obvious sign of his nerves was his extreme, and extremely odiferous farts. (Steve called him Odorous.) We had a kitchen island, and a hallway that circled around, so Otis would roam almost ceaselessly in a big figure eight, and when we would pass by me as I sat at the island he would unroll his tongue and do a surreptitious swipe on my leg without stopping. He was such a character.
Karen, Otis sounds like he would have benefited from Janey's Prozac!
DeleteI once considered starting a business called Critter Sitters. I was the go-to caretaker for friends who live a couple of miles away. They had cats, dogs, fish, chickens, horses, cattle, and pigs. And I was the only person around qualified to keep the entire menagerie alive for a week while they took a much needed vacation. One year, they had a cow who'd recently calved and who was (they knew) dying. The vet knew it, everyone knew it. But the goal was to keep her comfortable and alive for as long as possible for the sake of the calf. I was utterly (pun intended) determined that she was NOT going to die on my watch. She didn't. A few days after the owners returned, they had her put down and took over caring for an orphan calf.
ReplyDeleteThat was when I decided the Critter Sitter business was NOT for me.
Oh, Annette, that's both lovely and sad.
DeleteMy across the street neighbors just had a baby, and I haven't seen their dog for weeks. I hope she's staying with a compassionate friend or relative--a Julia! Karma will keep your life interesting.
ReplyDeleteI have taken care of Rosie, my dear friend Alice's golden retriever (English cream to be exact) multiple times. Last October, Clio, her cat sibling came too. Alice was in Europe for 3 1/2 weeks. Between multiple dog walks, and all the feedings and scooping, I was busy! The worst part was the cat box, which had to live in my bathtub (ugh) The cat seemed to get up on it and then poop in the bathtub (double ugh). The best part was watching the two of them play with each other. Rosie would open her big mouth and put it on Clio's head, which Clio didn't seem to mind--it was all part of their routine. Clio definitely got her own back.
That head business is making me laugh, Gillian!
DeleteAnd yes, it's not that any one aspect of pet care is unfamiliar or too hard. It's just the time spent on scooping, walking, feeding, petting, etc. etc. somehow expands logarithmically with each additional cat or dog.
I was Anonymous (above) who likes hearing animal stories. I just got a new computer and am going slightly crazy getting things to be 'normal' again.
ReplyDeleteJudi, I finally HAD to "upgrade" to Windows 11 and it's driving me mad, so I empathize with you. The computer/software industry has apparently never heard the phrase, "Don't fix it if it ain't broken."
DeletePreach, sister!
DeleteWe don’t dog sit often because usually if an animal darkens our door, it stays. It doesn’t matter what species it is – dog, cat, crow, raccoon, goat – they all just seem to become part of our family. “Hello, we just found a half-dead cat in our yard. Will you take it?” Do I look like Hope for Wildlife? (local wild animal car shelter).
ReplyDeleteAs for this dog – Wheaton/lab mx – very cute but with a very short patience line, and a nice personality only to us. He absolutely hates all other dogs. He does like cats which is a good thing as we have 9. No, he doesn’t want to play with your dog, no, he does not want them in his house, and no you cannot ingratiate yourself and your dog into his space because he will BITE you -especially if you are smarmy and talk baby talk to him. How many time do I have to say “Don’t pat the dog!”
When he was a pup, he would go down the driveway to next door (she did offer dog cookies) every morning to play with the Mop. She – small thingy like Julia’s dogs played nicely. Then she would come to stay overnight or so if they went away. Grr, Grr, Grrr. She inhabited the downstairs bathroom to sleep in. Alf stole her toy and hid it. She tried to grab his food – he nibbles all day – Grr, grr, grr. He was always happy when she went home.
Now we frequently get my daughter’s dogs complete with two (loud) adults and two (even louder) kids. One is a beagle – she barks in a high-pitched bark – sounds like a baby. Drives him crazy. The other looks like an Australian shepherd, but is not. She barks, she runs, she is just overall annoying. Then there are the kids – they run, they scream, they lunge at him – “but I loovve Alfie.” “He will bite you”. Eventually they leave – after breakfast. Alf sits on a chair on Geriatric Row. He watches them load the car. He watches them get in it. He watches them leave.
He sighs and smiles – ear to ear. We join him in peace and quiet. Life is back to normal…
Margo we had a Wheaton (after my husband met a couple of friendly and adorable ones while traveling). Well, ours was like yours. NOT remotely friendly to anyone but us! He (Murphy), loved us so much that no one else was allowed to even walk past our house without him losing his mind. We loved him (and he really was adorable and so loving to us), but it was also exhausting to be his dog-parents.
DeleteMargo, the older I get, the more I understand my parents saying, "We love to see you come, and we love to see you go."
DeleteI fostered a Wheaton for 4-5 months and the poor thing was NOT a good fit. My house was too quiet, and he went nuts at every tiny noise, inside and out. Also, he thought cats were food, which didn't sit well with my Neko. Eventually, I found the perfect home for him: a busy family with two little boys who never stopped. The first time they met him, the Wheaten became their guard and shepherd. The mom sent me photos after we finished the placement - the dog escorted the two little guys up to the bathroom at night and then settled down on the rug between their beds.
Oh I love dogs so much! Grew up with them and have had several as an adult. My last crew was a group of three and my world revolved around them. I am now down to one, Lucy (ala Charlie Brown). She is going on 17! Other than her blindness, she is doing great. After she passes on, though, we are taking a break from pets for travel. Hubby will be retiring in 2 years and I am desperate to get back to traveling without worrying about how the dogs are doing with the dog sitter. I believe pets are gifts in our lives. Most love us unconditionally and I am so grateful to them for that.
ReplyDeleteAgreed and agreed, Stacia. I also have friends who are on a break from dog ownership for the same reason. Their last pooch was a sweet labradoodle who lived to be something like 19, which meant for years they couldn't travel unless an experienced friend house/dog sat for them. They're enjoying their freedom now!
DeleteThat’s me! After 30 years with 1-2 dogs, we have been without for the past 2 years of retirement travels. My husband really wants us to get settled so we can get a dog. He retired right before COVID and his daily walks with the dog to the nearby coffee shop with an outdoor seating area kept him sane. Nice is very dog friendly. So as long as we get a small dog that can fit on the plane, we will be good. We have friends in Nice with a Wheaton and there’s a group of them that do play dates and dog sit for each other. I’m leaning towards a dachshund, the dogs we always had when I was growing up
DeleteJulia, I am speechless. You are a saint. Xxx
ReplyDeleteI am earning my crown in heaven, it's true.
DeleteWe doggie sat my sister and bro in law's giant black dog, and I mean very big! Lobo was a family favorite and loved by all. However, he decided one day to "relax", in our outdoor jacuzzi unknown to us. When we finally realized where he was we realized why he didn't come when we frantically called his name. He got in ok but couldn't get out. So he was just watching the world go by with his head propped up on the outside ring.
ReplyDeleteThere is a wonderful locally owned and set up shelter in southern California called Shelter to Soldier that matches rescue dogs to veterans with PTSD. It is a wonderful set up and each goes through a rigorous training period before the dog goes home with his new owner. The dogs are mostly black labs and are absolutely beautiful, smart and extremely well trained.
There are some wonderful programs that help vets via pets. My childhood best friend Ellen spent many years training poodles to be companions for vets with PTSD. She only retired a couple years ago when she became unable to keep up with two dogs that size. Now she and Paco, her white poodle assistant, get to enjoy the beach in San Diego at a more sedate pace.
DeleteWhat wonderful organizations! Anon, I'm laughing at the mental image of a great big boy just chillin' in the Jacuzzi. That's a real California dog!
DeleteNot me, but youngest nephew. Babysat two Dobermans, the older of which was a calm, sweet lady. The younger was extremely nervous with her owners gone--puked constantly, peed, pooped all over the place. Youngest spent the weekend with a bucket and a mop.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the usual mayhem of a house full of pets, Julia! We are currently without a dog, but the five cats provide plenty of drama. Three males and two females. All fixed long long ago. The two females detest all of the males and each other. Makes for lots of daily drama. Sigh.
I feel for you, Anon, I feel for you.
DeleteJulia, I agree, your halo is glowing! When our daughter and son in law were first married they bought the house next door to us, which needed major renovations. So in they moved with us, along with the two rescue dogs they'd recently adopted. We had three German shepherds, which we'd never intended, but the third had come to us in unusual circumstances, and two cats. Our two older dogs were too well trained to join in the new crew's mayhem, but Jasmine, our rescue, was susceptible to gang behavior. Gidget, their older dog, a white boxer who looked very much like your Karma, was actually not too bad. It was the aptly named Monster who made us pull our hair out. Cat chasing, food stealing, etc. He managed to get into some jeweler's rouge in Rick's office and ate the entire little pot. Well, jeweler's rouge is made with beef tallow, so it smelled yummy. But iron is poisonous to dogs, so cue the big vet bills, chelation, etc. We felt bad but who would have expected a dog to get into a toolbox and eat that??
ReplyDeleteDebs, so true, and it reminds me of an infamous non-pet episode: when tiny Victoria was three, she got into the large pot of petrolatum jelly in the nursery and painted EVERYTHING she could reach with it. Walls, furniture, toys... as I said to my husband, "Who would have expected THAT?"
DeleteI love cats, dogs, fish, etc. That is one thing I have missed recently. Years ago, I had six cats and a golden retriever and that was an adventure. Dusty, the golden, loved everyone, cats included. When a neighborhood boy found a kitten, he brought it to me knowing I already had five cats so what was one more. Dusty pretty much adopted that kitten, who I named Intrepid because he was. If that little kitten made a sound, Dusty would go through the house until she found him and made sure he was safe. She groomed him and let him have free rein in playing with her tail and climbing all over her.
ReplyDeleteThe other cats were fine with that. My first one, was named Sassy because she was. Had something to say about everything. Next came Blackie who was a tiny, longhaired black cat. She looked like fine china and crystal were her domain and she was the most social of all of our cats. Have a visitor? She was up front greeting them and the rest, all bigger, were under the bed.
The third cat was an orange tabby and dumber than a box of rocks. He was a kitten when we got him and loved to walk under the coffee table. Well, as he grew, the coffee table did not and EVERY time he tried to walk under it, you'd hear this loud thunk and you knew where he was. He never caught a clue.
Number four, Watcher, part Maine Coon and larger than many small dogs, sat on our porch for days, just watching us come and go. He had a sidekick we called Boots. Well, one day we come home, opened the door and Watcher walked into the house, literally striding down the hallway looking in every doorway. Then he turned around and walked back out. The next day, we came home and so did he. Just walked right in and laid down. I guess we passed approval. My spouse at the time said we couldn't leave Boots outside because that just wasn't right, so there came number five.
Intrepid joined a year after that. So we had six cats and a golden in a 1300 sqft home. I wouldn't have traded it for the world. -- Victoria
Victoria, honestly, six cats and a (very cat friendly) dog sound like an eminently manageable amount of pets. Especially since cats vary widely in how much 'human' they need, while dogs... tend to be "love me!" all the time.
DeleteJulia, it really was as long as you respected each cat's chosen role. We had only one being a chosen greeter. When our home was burglarized you should have seen them all coming to the door when I got home. That alerted me that something was very wrong. They all chattered away until I figured out what had happened. I was just grateful they were all safe and sound. Still, I'm not sure I could have taken another dog without causing mass chaos. -- Victoria
DeleteAs a fellow, overwhelmed pet mom, this made me laugh so much! My twelve-year-old lab has mellowed a bit on her daily dose of prozac too, but she's picked up new habits like barking at me each evening until I give in and get a treat for her. I tell myself every night that I have the will to outlast her, but apparently she's not as tired at the end of the day as I am.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the reason behind naming your cat Karma will have me laughing throughout the day too!
I couldn't believe it when I jokingly suggested Prozac, just to discover they actually prescribe it for pets! I guess we all get a little stressed in this modern world...
DeleteWe had a dog behaviorist suggest Buspirone (aka Buspar) for a high strung dog we had. It worked on him, but even better on our dog with extreme separation anxiety. Most vets don’t know about it so we’re trying to spread the word. (Our poor dog had had his human taken away — arrested — and then was put in the county shelter for 3 months. When he was scheduled to be euthanized, the wonderful rescue site Frosted Faces who specialize in Senior dogs and cats, stepped in and saved him. He was there for another two months before he came home with us. He came by his separation anxiety legitimately, poor baby. We only had three and a half years with him before he died this past August, but he was the absolute best dog.) — Pat S
DeleteAww, what a wonderful ending you gave to that good boy!
DeleteTo echo Hank, you deserve a medal! I'm glad you are able to see the humor in what's going on at your house--you certainly made me laugh. Peter and I live in an apartment and travel too much to have a happy pet, so we prefer not to have a pet at all. No dog or cat sitting either. However, my family had a very sociable Siamese cat named Grimalkin, whom I loved. We got him when I was five, and he died when I was fourteen. That was terrible. Not something I'd want to go through again, which may be another reason why we don't have a pet.
ReplyDeleteKim, I can absolutely see the allure of the pet-free life, and I love the way you frame it. I wish more would-be pet owners stopped to think, "Can I give this dog/cat the best possible life?" And then pass on adoption if the answer is no.
DeleteI've got two seniors, both 15 yrs. old: dog, deaf and almost blind in his only eye; and cat, doing fine so far - except won't be quiet until I turn on the bathroom faucet for him every hour or so (I've tried two water fountains and he won't have anything to do with that running water!). Dog had an in-clinic procedure to help with his eye and he is doing much better, can sort of see again, but that means eye drops every 4 hours! Got me really thinking - I have so, so much admiration for caregivers who take care of their humans! 24/7!!
ReplyDeleteGeri, what IS it about cats and running water? Both Neko and Walker come running as soon as I turn the tap on, and they vie to be the one to drink the water pouring from the pitcher into the bowl (I'm a klutz, so I bring the water to the bowl and not the other way around!)
DeleteI had a cat that only drank from the toilet bowl. I left her for two days for mini-vacation. Got home to find she had somehow dumped the tissue box into the toilet bowl and it had absorbed the water. I had two toilets, but she had "her" toilet and wouldn't use the other - even in an emergency. I came home and she literally shoved me off "my" toilet to get at the water. Never understood why she didn't use it until she could upend me. Cats! -- Victoria
DeleteWe’ve only pet sat our grandbun, our son and (now) daughter-in-law’s rabbit. This was back in 2020 when our son had moved home when his school shut down. Arthur, the rabbit, was a delightful guest for the most part. We quickly learned about cord wrapping and kept watch to prevent him digging into our carpet. Otherwise Granddad loved their mornings alone together when Arthur would fall asleep while having his ears and face massaged.
ReplyDeleteWe found a great dog/house sitter for our late dog. Jim would stay at our house while we were gone. His wife dog sat at their house and Jim would go to the dog’s house. In our case we lived about half a mile from Jim and Ann so he’d take our dog to his house where Jim got a home-cooked meal and Buddy got an adventure! They very kindly had us over to raise a glass (or two) to our sweet boy after his passing.
We also are taking at least a break from any pets of our own with hopes of traveling. But boy, is it quiet in the house. — Pat S
I have supervised my kids in pet sitting, but never done it myself. I had a friend who had a pit bull she swore was "a doll," but when my girl and I showed up to feed the dog, he was not a doll. The Girl was terrified to go into the house and I wound up doing everything. Then there was a former neighbor who hired The Girl to take care of two cats and a bird. The cats were easy, but I had to beat back the bird with an oven mitt when filling his seed dish or he'd bite me. Fun times.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I wonder who Koda would be? Lazy dog who sleeps all day and demands regular attention and feeding. Ideas welcome.
Pup sitting my daughter's two dogs one weekend about 10:00 one night the lab discovered a skunk on the other side of the fence and got them both sprayed, I had to have our rug where they rolled professionally cleaned and it took months to get the smell out of one chair. It fun!
ReplyDelete