JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: It's that very special moment in the run up to Christmas today - still early enough to get the presents in the mail if you pay for rush delivery, but you've also exhausted any and all naturally occurring ideas for what to give. This is the moment for which Gift Guides are made.
I know I'm not the only person who has a love/hate relationship with "Top Ten Gifts for The Holidays" and "25 Gifts They'll Love to Receive." Not to mention the ubiquitous "50 Stocking Stuffers Under $50." $50 for a stocking stuffer?!? Girl, when I was a kid we got a pack of cards and some Pixie Stix and we were grateful.
If you're still shopping, I'm here to curate the already curated collections, and share the good, the bad and the ugly.
The Good:
Temperature controlled smart mug.
At first I thought, what in the overly-online world is this nonsense? But then I started to think about the five or six cups of tea I drink every day, and about how quickly they get cold in the winter, and how depressing it is when you reach for the mug without really paying attention because you're really into what your writing and - yuch! It's gone sad and cold. Would I pay $79 to avoid that? Yes, yes I would.
The Bad:
Monogrammed socks.
Do you have a self-important @$$hole in your life? Does he talk about venture capital and effective altruism? He is the one and only market for these.
The Ugly:
Wine bottle chiller.
Nothing says "I love wine" in a sophisticated way like clamping a bottle into a brand-name extruded plastic container before pouring. Either invest the big bucks into an under counter wine cooler or think ahead and stick the Prosecco into your fridge like the rest of us.
The Good:
Cashmere crewneck for under $100
Nice, soft, cozy, and if you take proper care of it (hand wash in cold, use a sweater razor to remove pills) it'll probably last quite some time. Everybody looks good in a basic like this, and unless you're living in Key West (lookin' at you, Lucy) everyone could use something warm in winter.
The Bad:
Le Creuset Mini Coquette
First off, this is not a "gift under $50," because in order for someone to use them, you need at least four, for a total of $88. Secondly, if the recipient already has Le Creuset, you better know their color, because fans get VERY VERY picky about what's in their kitchen. (Mine is Flame, in case anyone wants to surprise me with an expensive and very heavy present.) Finally, how often does anyone really use a mini coquette? Get a four-quart casserole dish for $74 instead; that'll hold a lot of coq au vin.
The Ugly:
On Cloudmoster sneaker.
Have you ever wondered what it would look like if you strapped egg cartons to the bottom of your sneakers? Wonder no more, my friend.
Wirecutter from the New York Times
The Good:
Garden kneeler
I'm getting this for my daughter-in-law next year. These things are great for everyone; those of us with bombed out knees, like me, those of us who want to protect their joints, and little kids, who can sit and "help" with some weeding. "No, darling, that's a carrot. Can you put it back?"
The Bad:
Fake old sweats
I'm sorry - almost $300 for a sweatsuit? (Yes, the pants are also $148.) Are you crazy?!?
The Ugly:
Outdoor color-blocked blanket/poncho
"Hello, rugged outdoorsman! I see you are wearing a color-blocked quilted poncho, which is also a groundcover you can sit on if you avoid the slit in the middle. How foolish I feel, spending all these years wearing a jacket and sitting on a padded tarp!"
And now, the grande dame and queen of all Gift Guides: Oprah's Favorite Things 2025!
The Good:
Wrist-warmer gloves
The Bad:
Concept2 Cross County Ski Thingy
No, it's not the price. You get what you pay for in exercise equipment. And it's a kind of cool idea - designed for cross country skiiers, your feet (and those all important knee joints) stay stable, while you work the heck out of your arms.
But these are supposed to be gifts. For someone else. There was a whole internet-and-battling-ads kerfluffle when a 2019 Peleton commercial showed a model-thin woman getting a stationary bike as a present from her husband. Now imagine what message you're sending when your loved one sees this by the tree on Christmas morning. "Hey, sweetheart! I've noticed your back and arms are gettin' a little flabby there! Here ya go!"
The Ugly:
Sneex. Snix. Sneakyheels.
What do you think, dear readers? What are the good/bad/ugly gift ideas you've run across?
I'm alternately laughing and cringing at some of these, Julia. Since I never look at those gift guide things, it's all new to me. [But the mug and the gloves strike me as good ideas.] . . . .
ReplyDeleteI told you, you can trust my instincts, Joan!
DeleteYes, I just might stop someone in the airport to ask what they were thinking with those whacko shoes.
ReplyDeleteI also recommend author Naomi Kritzer’s website for her annual “Gifts For People You Hate” list.
Rushing over to take a look right now, Lisa!
DeleteJulia, simply by looking at the gift guides, aren't you setting yourself up for repeated feelings of abject horror at all the bad things they suggest as great gift ideas?
ReplyDeleteI never look at the guides. First, who has the time? Second, other than my nephew everyone in my life either gets books or gift cards for books. I take all the guessing game aspect out of gift-giving.
I don't know, Jay, I guess it's the same part of me that slows down and gawks when driving past an accident...
DeleteSome of those boggle the mind! The only ones I would consider are the cashmere sweater and the gloves, except I already have a pair of fingerless that do amazing job at keeping my wrists warm. Sometimes that's all you need.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for keeping your tea hot, get yourself a Contigo travel mug for under twenty dollars. My coffee is staying hot in mine on my desk right now, even though my only travel was thirty seconds up the stairs from the kitchen.. They have a metal - not plastic - base, come in pretty colors, and are entirely analog. Now that's a stocking stuffer!
I'll look for the Contigo mug this morning. I deserve hot coffee!
DeleteEdith, I also love my fingerless gloves which I bought at a craft fair several years ago from a vendor with an Alpaca farm. They do the job. Irwin was borrowing them so, I bought a pair of cashmere fingerless gloves for him from Nordstrom. He wears them when he sits and reads. We keep our heat at 66° F and turn it down to 58° F at night.
Last year, I had a woman knit Jack (I can’t knit anymore and my mother is no longer with us) two right hand fingerless gloves. Why you say? Weird, you say? Not so when you figure it out. He gets a tired hand/wrist, and by keeping this area warm, it causes less stress pain. There are two gloves in a ball of wool, so might as well knit two, and of course he only uses the right hand to work the mouse. After the stunned look, he appreciated it.
DeleteThank you for the tip about Contingo, Edith - that takes a good idea and give it to us for $50 less!
DeleteI have a Yeti 15oz coffee mug that keeps things hot to the last drop.
DeleteAnd that drip’s hot too.
Under thirty bucks.
I agree with Jay; the gift guides are a total time suck as the ideas are mostly useless. I did snap a picture at Walmart of the OXO tot grape cutter and send it to my sister captioned, “For the Person who has Everything.” I think it was around 12-15 bucks. I didn’t buy one.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of time sucks, I spent 40 minutes in line to mail out my packages yesterday….and felt grateful that it wasn’t any longer! I had allowed myself 90 minutes before an appointment elsewhere so I was able to reward myself with precious reading time. My packages all had an estimated arrival date of the 20th. Hope that pans out.
I physically went into the post office a few days ago to get postage for two cards I was sending to Japan, and I was pleasantly amazed at how briskly and efficiently they were moving! The long was line but my wait time overall was short. I didn't time it but I' sure it was less than 10 minutes.
DeleteThey know what they're doing at the USPS!
DeleteThis made me laugh out loud! But I have to admit I got an old friend (who needs nothing but we exchange gifts anyway) socks with photographs from a vacation we took. Hopefully that’s a little better than the monogrammed socks!
ReplyDeleteFun socks are great, Anon! As are practical socks - Santa leaves everyone a pair of warm winter socks in their stockings.
DeleteLots of fun socks at Dollar Tree for $1.50. I still need to get to McDonalds for the Adult Grinch Meal that comes with Grinch socks. 4 different pairs to collect.
DeleteI can vouch for the Garden Kneeler. My mother had one, a gift from my brother, and used it a LOT. I think it was her favorite gift ever, which makes me a little bummed that I hadn't thought of it.
ReplyDeleteIt always amazes me the kind of overpriced nonsense that ends up in stores this time of year. Stuff that no one needs, EXCEPT for the last minute shopper who has to buy SOMETHING for Great Aunt Dorothy and will grab the first thing they see. I remember the Christmas Eve shopping panic back when I worked retail. Guys would come in looking for an item we were out of (because the rest of the shoppers had bought them all), and in a fit of despair would say, "Give me anything. She can return it later." [sigh]
I noticed that yesterday they started advertising the perennial just-before-Christmas chia pet. I will admit, I wondered if I should get one for me to give to the cats as a snack ornament. At least if they tipped it, they would not get dirt all over the floor.
DeleteThat kneeler has been in my Gardeners Supply wishlist for years! Maybe I should share that list with someone. Hunh.
DeleteAnnette, if you think too long about the overpriced junk, you just get depressed over the cost and waste. Better to dwell, zen-like, on the long-lasting and very useful Garden Kneeler. Amen.
DeleteWe have two of those kneelers, can be turned over to use as a bench too. They also work great for elevating pots of flowers in amongst the bushes and ground covers.
DeleteRe the Chia Pets, got one for my granddaughter when she was about four. When I called her the next day she wept “it doesn’t WORK!!!). So much for TV ads
Oh Julia, I almost spit out my (not hot)coffee when ai started reading this! So yes to the temperature-controlled smart mug (well, maybe) I laughed all the way through your guide. My Advent reflections this morning were about joy in spite of everything and your post brought me joy, and laughter. Thank you! And I know Hank would be very elegant and stylish as she grilled those awful shoes.
ReplyDeleteRight? Like, all you have to do is picture Hank in a pair and you back away, saying, "No, No, No!"
DeleteI laughed out loud, especially at the strap-on egg cartons. Thanks, Julia, for the great start to the day!
ReplyDeleteAnyone thinking of the garden kneeler: perhaps think twice about Gardener's Supply. I used to love them but these days I find them terribly overpriced and often lower quality. For the past ten years I have had this kneeler which is functionally the exact same for half the cost. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YQUSERQ?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_4&th=1 These days with fake knees I can no longer kneel, but I use mine as a garden stool in summer and a barn stool for lambing in the winter. Most recently I've been sitting on it in 2°F blowing snow to ply a propane torch on the stand pipe of my (insert bitter laugh here) frost-free outdoor water hydrant. (Selden)
Selden, thanks for the tip on the garden kneeler. I am going to order one for my favorite gardener (husband.)
DeleteThanks, Selden!
DeleteThank you for the updated info, Selden! My sympathies on the outdoor water heater - living in This Old House, I know too well the "joys" of pipes freezing up.
DeleteJulia, thanks for the morning laughter. Congratulations on all the great reviews of you new book. I am saving it for next week when it will be quiet here because I know I won't be able to put it down and the last two weeks have been nuts! XXOO
ReplyDeleteThank YOU, Judy! I hope you enjoy it!
DeleteAn excellent guide, amazing what people think others will want as gifts! However, I can also vouch for the garden kneeler, very useful for anyone but especially for those of us whose knees aren’t what they used to be. Lee Valley (a great source of gardening gifts) also has an excellent one for $64.50CDN. In fact, I got mine as a Christmas gift two years back.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debra, it's great to have a reference for our Canadian readers!
DeleteJulia, you are a treasure! I love starting my day with a smile and today I smiled and laughed at your wonderful, awful descriptions. (I think Hank's perfectly grilled shoes would look good with the funky poncho!) Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a last minute shopper. When I exchanged gifts years ago, I would begin in August and be done by Halloween. That way I could enjoy the Christmas spirit as I strolled through malls watching crazed folks panicking over what to get old Uncle Hershel who hates everything. -- Victoria
I used to be much more organized when I had little kids, Victoria, but I've let it slide a bit since then. I had most of my shopping done around the start of December, but I still need to pick up a few things, sigh. NOT from a gift list!
DeleteThanks for a great chuckle. I don't think I've ever looked at a gift guide (except the flyer from Broadway Books that comes in the mail) The garden kneeler looks like a winner. I am really tired of the ups and downs and sore knees that now come with pulling weeds. Why anyone would listen to the person who invented Spanx is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteI remember wearing them when I was young and, I guess, concerned what others thought about my figure, Gillian. Now it's ALL about comfort.
DeleteYou avoided the GUILTY.
ReplyDeleteWe are not giving gifts this year to anyone except kids as in little ones, and not as in of my body. We all have too much stuff, and/or want something way out of our price range. Therefore, we agreed (most of us) no gifts, with the possible exception of a box of chocolates (make mine jelly fruit candy, please).
Now I feel guilty. There are 9 more days. It is getting too late to order, but... I feel so guilty.
Now what do I do?
Make a donation to help homeless or food banks and tell folks this is their gift this year. Helps rewire the "Christmasmania" brain. -- Victoria
DeleteMargo, the only people who truly MISS having presents are children. I'll include teens in this group as well. Everyone else is usually relieved they don't have ONE MORE item to deal with. I agree with Victoria's suggestion and add my own - there are many organizations who give presents to kids who otherwise might not get any. Find one and donate so those who WOULD fell the absence, and then give your loved ones and friends cards letting them know what their "gift" went to.
DeleteJulia, that image of Hank pulling out the grill to burn those heels! I think those are indeed the ugliest shoes I've ever seen. My parents were easy to buy for--my dad always enjoyed getting new clothes--a new dress shirt or flannel shirt, work pants or dress pants--he had so little growing up, it always pleased him immensely. My mom? The softest nightgown--something she would never think to get for herself. They were from the generation where you wore everything until it wore out, so it was hard for them to buy things for themselves.
ReplyDeleteOh, Flora, you remind me of cleaning out my Dad's closet when he moved into assisted living. Every Christmas, one or most of us would give him a plaid shirt. Long sleeve in flannel, short sleeve in cotton; they were his favorite thing to wear. They were all there, all lovingly worn, when we packed him up.
DeleteI too love the shoes on Hanks grill! All brilliant Julia! And ps, we do need a little wrap from time to time 🌴
ReplyDeleteA little wrap... Picture me wearing three layers, rolling my eyes, Lucy!
DeleteThe monogrammed socks comments...I am still laughing. And we all know someone who would fit your descriptive point of view... :-)
ReplyDeleteRight? There's always someone perfect for that pretentious gift...
DeleteNome Streets guide to saving your patootie during this frantic time o year: Julia you are an inspiration! On Nome Street we tell the relatives "Remember 12 Days of Christmas start on 25Dec. look for Santa until 5Jan. If the gift doesn't get there think Superbowl present. 2. Go to the weird section on Amazon. Have an old car? look at car parts. You can get a frizbang clutch for your hoop de doo 98, and have a hobbiest fix it in exchange for a month of cherry pies. 3. All the cardboard from the boxes you got from the delivery people can be recycled into "zoo creatures et al. simply get scotch tape and child proof scissors, jelly beans for the child, and a beverage of your choice for you. Thirty seconds of fun and 2 hours of tears. // See why Nome Street really ignores holidays? Thanks again for the fun this morning.
ReplyDeleteCardboard is gold here. I use it underneath mulch to suppress weeds.
DeleteCoralee, I'm laughing so hard here...
DeleteI bought the weeding kneeler at Menards for about $20. It's great. No assembly required.
ReplyDeleteEvery year, I give each member of the family two pairs of runner's socks. Such a popular gift I start taking orders in August (color, style of socks).
Oh, yes, Margaret, good socks are a joy! Last Christmas my youngest, Virginia, said she knew she was a grown up because she was genuinely excited to see socks in her stocking!
DeleteFirst off, I have an Ember mug (bought with reward points at the day job). It is seriously not gimmicky. I love it for exactly the reason you say, Julia. Whether I'm working or writing, I reach for my tea and it's still hot! Love it.
ReplyDeleteI have not seen any lists of gifts, but then again I haven't looked. We bought The Girl skis and boots because she wants to learn to ski. We're buying The Boy his first real adult suit. I bought The Very Nice Girlfriend a pink Snoopy sweatshirt (she loves Snoopy). But I may but that cashmere sweater on my personal list.
It has great reviews on Amazon, Liz!
DeleteThis is wonderful as always, Julia! I did find some pretty fabulous gifts this year, and the best one is the socks that look like sushi. Yess Look it up. You will fall in love instantly!
ReplyDeleteAnd the heels Hank?
DeleteSushi socks? Really, Hank? If only my sister wore socks, they would be perfect!
DeleteMy nephew loves sushi. and I think he would get a kick out of the sushi box of socks. Thanks, Hank!
DeleteI love giving fun socks, Hank! One year, I found over-the-knee socks with an octopus-arm design on it. Victoria LOVED them!
Deletehere is one of the links:
Deletehttps://www.amazon.com/POPCRAZE-Sushi-Socks-Pairs-Women-Regular/dp/B0DBDPSLGS/ref=sr_1_4_sspa?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.6CGz7BF1quAIlmKgGoIazu7aNG3yu25HNomdGPbsGjASDFp52XycdLOzdnGTx2RbZFjxntIGNQgY4-tWFY5Zm4q1TtAqE58SvNEbQzL4FbtsEpOsTlc9BgS_oww-njmarPcfOWxGb4pEJjijM8U0DgvXZ2mEBzHoYJEbuCTEtT27mYE4zeID4nYo5PFk_gegQ9g19qIUkdovfbCeGfjOxoER9fhWaLGqMIvbKcrYsHO2LdbPXMICJ4EcQgOsWPLet-antsbLIw6-9aKoMSNGF_rKUiqXfg5-axBogSFDn4c.MKxxWK_8WFFLMdsX3sPZ46jBjWwPIsFnX0ZxiIDcSHM&dib_tag=se&hvadid=557209711615&hvdev=c&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=9002070&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=3584065074204151704--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3584065074204151704&hvtargid=kwd-915551892957&hydadcr=7467_13183976&keywords=socks%2Bthat%2Blook%2Blike%2Bsushi&mcid=e1ab701eeefa3ce6b6cfb5affd2951c0&qid=1765910193&sr=8-4-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&th=1&psc=1
You have to admit, they are HILARIOUS!
DeleteExcellent curating, Julia! You had me at cashmere. Yes, even here in the desert we have the occasional cold snap that requires soft and cozy! As for the Sneex - someone had too much nog in their egg nog when they thought of those. Ew.
ReplyDeleteAnd the cherry on top is that they're almost $600!!!
DeleteI'm laughing. Thank you for voicing my thoughts. Every time I get sucked into one of those "25 Best Gift" lists, I think, who in the world would ever want this? And by the way, I have one of those little mini round Le Crueset things. And there it sits in the cabinet, bright and shiny and unused because I have no idea what to put in it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for proving me right, Gerri!
DeleteFinished my Christmas shopping in the summer. I rarely look at these gift guides.
ReplyDeleteHowever, your post reminded me of my intention to put together a list of BEST BOOKS of 2025. I have a long list of wonderful books. If feels like I won the lottery.
Good to hear, Diana! Unlike the gift guides, we all take Best Books lists very seriously!
DeleteP.S. and I need to nominate books for different categories before the mystery conference.
ReplyDeleteThose shoes, unbelievable. I did receive an enameled coated, cast iron cocotte (Dutch oven) as a gift for Christmas. I wouldn't call it mini. The lid has it labeled as 2 pounds. It is the perfect size for a pot roast for one.
ReplyDeleteTBH, Deanna, I was thinking of the smallest, 8oz size, because that's the one featured in the gift guide. But they DO come as large as 24 ounces - that's useable and only $44.
DeleteThose shoes! Snort, guffaw, and skepticism that "airport" comments are actually positive. But they remind me of a pair of (heeled) boots I had in the 1970's with Vibram soles and made of waterproof something--Kevlar? Can't remember. Ugly as sin, but kept my feet dry.
ReplyDeleteBeware: I bought my son-in-law a Naadam sweater in the wrong size (they run very small), and it was the pain of a lifetime to get it replaced, plus the quality was just so-so for the price. On the other hand, Quince, another online source for cashmere, has excellent prices, quality, and customer service. Which I found via a Wirecutter gift list.
I have found some great ideas from gift lists, including weekly pill cases made of aluminum that actually stay closed, via magnetic catch. I ordered some as gifts, I'll let you know how it goes. They are ridiculously pricey, but are returnable for full refund if we don't like them.
P.S. I made Senate Bean Soup in the slow cooker yesterday. Delicious! Thanks for the recipe, all.
DeleteSo glad you liked the soup, Karen!
DeleteAnd I agree on the Quince. My daughter is getting a gorgeous crewneck in slate blue. Wish I'd ordered one for myself!
Karen, everyone I know raves about Quince. One of these days, I'm going to get ahead of the date and order stuff for the family from them!
DeleteThe big news: huge congratulations for the great NYT review of you brand new book!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Susan!
DeleteSneex are as ugly looking as high heel Crocs. What were they thinking? And we all know the airport has the best people watching and weird fashions on display.
ReplyDeleteOh, I do that all the time in airports. And I can just imagine people "asking about them"....
DeleteJulia, what a fabulous post! I would be a tiny bit tempted by the mug except that Kayti gave me a desktop mug warmer for Christmas a couple of years ago, on which my tea is sitting at the moment. One of my favorite Christmas gifts ever.
ReplyDeleteThose shoes are the ugliest things I have ever seen! I'm afraid I'm going to dream about them!
Debs, I actually went to the site and looked at them on models and being worn in videos. And nope, they looked ugly on EVERYONE no matter what they were wearing.
DeleteOh, I love this post! My favorite is the heated mug. That is practical, functional, and adaptable. I can even see keeping a broth
ReplyDelete-based or tomato soup warm while I write my lunch. Keeping coffee or tea warm is an ongoing problem. Like you, I hate taking a sip of cold beverage that's supposed to be hot. Worst thing on your list? Hands down would have to be the sneaker heels. What kind of warped mind did those come from? My apologies if there's a fan out there, but really? Would anyone gift those?Great post, Julia.
Hi Julia, i read your post as I am always scouting out new ideas for gift giving and especially, stocking stuffers for children to adults! Thanks for doing the review. I respectfully disagree though on the laCruet mini. I use it on all my charcuterie boards for my baked Brie with candied pecans and cranberries in a pastry puff wrap. Works great. Flame is also my color ❤️
ReplyDeleteOops LeCruest. I use it, just can’t spell it -🤣
Delete