What is Luxury?

 RHYS BOWEN: On Valentine’s Day my oldest grandson is getting married. Yes, I know it’s rather mind-blowing that grandchildren have reached that age (and he is only 25, which is very young to get married these days). So of course my major concern at the moment is trying to find the right dress for the wedding. This is made more complicated because the bride has sent out a color palette… sunset colors.  I don’t look good in bright pinks and oranges, so it will have to be a soft pink or very pale blue. I started looking online and found the most gorgeous dress. I showed it to my daughter Anne, who was staying with us. She agreed. Gorgeous. Perfect. The only thing wrong with it was that it was $800. That’s a lot of money for a dress I will wear once.  I know I can actually afford it but my frugal nature keeps screaming “Are you crazy?”

I suppose the problem is that I was brought up to be frugal. My early years after WWII in England were years of “make do and mend”.  Of doing without. Foodstuffs were rationed until 1953 so as a small child there was no question of going to the sweet shop and buying a candy bar.  I had a school uniform, one set of play clothes and maybe one dress for special occasions. That was it.  My family rarely ate out, unless it was to stop for fish and chips on the way back from an excursion. So for me a luxury at the time was to buy a Walls Ice cream from the ice cream van in the summer.

When I started working for the BBC in London luxury for me was going to the theater often. It was usually seats up in the top balcony but at least I saw all the new plays when they came out.

Which makes me think about what constitutes luxury. I suppose it equates to something you can’t usually afford to buy.  I’ve been to India several times. The first time the bill boards advertised transistor radios… the item ordinary people dreamed of owning.  Then it was a bicycle. And on the last occasion it was a car.  As people became more affluent their dreams became bigger.

So now I’m thinking what constitutes luxury for me today? I’m not the sort of person to drool over designer items. I’m never going to pay thousands for Gucci or Prada. But the one thing I treat myself to is business or first class when I fly. That is not only luxury it makes sense because I arrive feeling rested.

I do love going to a spa, getting  a massage, staying at a nice hotel, so I suppose luxury for me is an experience rather than things… stuff.

I don’t think I’ll buy that dress. I am, after all, only a grandmother, on the fringe of wedding photos. But I’ll keep you posted.

How about you? What do you consider to be luxury?

JENN McKINLAY: Oh, that is a lot for a dress if you’re not the bride. Maybe you can do an image search of the dress on Google and see if you can find it cheaper elsewhere or something similar but less pricey. Give it a go! I’ve had good luck doing that for shoes.

My cousin the economist calls me a “bougie thrifter.” I will buy designer items but they have to be in excellent condition, on sale, and retain their value so when I die, the hooligans can sell them for a profit. I don’t buy a lot of expensive things but when I do I look at them as investments. So that’s my take on luxury items - I’ll only buy if there’s a guaranteed return on investment - rather like being well rested after a long flight. LOL.

LUCY BURDETTE: Oh Jenn, I have to agree with Rhys on business class. You lose days of your vacation if you arrive exhausted and a wreck. Though I still shop for sales and the best deals. Rhys, I’m in the ‘buy the dress’ camp because this sounds like such a special occasion! Would it be something you could also wear to a conference?

HALLIE EPHRON: I grew up with money but I still have trouble spending it. On springing for business or first class airfare, I was up for it until I went to actually book a trip to Europe and saw the price difference. Thousands, not hundreds. No amount of but-but-butting will get me to spring for that. It’s much cheaper to arrive a day early and book an extra day in the hotel. Maybe it’s not so much for domestic flights.

I’m with Jenn on buying designer items on sale or used. Love the idea of a “bougie thrifter.” Jenn, I want to go shopping with you!

Wondering if anyone out there wants to weigh in on Lululemon - Worth it or not for workout clothes?? Uggs?? On the other hand I swear by LL Bean for quality if not so much for stylishness. But you can be sure that when you’re sick and tired of wearing it, it’ll still be in good condition for another bougie thrifter to snap up.

RHYS:  Hallie, my daughter and granddaughters swear by Lululemon. They last forever and if they rip Lulu will replace them. Since I don't wear leggings (I don't believe women of a certain age should reveal their shapes to the world) I haven't had to make a decision about this.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, you know what I’m going to say: If you absolutely love it, buy the dress. Of COURSE. Will you have fun and feel wonderful and you can afford it? Absolutely.

Business class on airplanes, yes, and first class if I can bump myself up when someone else is paying for the basic  ticket. It is worth it to me not to arrive at events frazzled and frustrated. It;s an immense difference.

Luxury to me  is carryout food, isn't that ridiculous? Not having to make dinner all the time is so wonderful.  (A massage? No, that would be torture, argh) Having clothes I love in all price ranges, I love that. 

(Hallie, UGGS are the warmest things in the world, but to me they are ‘inside’ shoes. )

And “ONLY a grandmother,” Rhys? I don’t think that describes you at all!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I’m more of an “experience instead of things” person as well, Rhys. Staying in a nice hotel and ordering room service so I don’t have to get dressed and go out. Post shower hydration hour, where I wrap up in a long terry robe after slathering on nice-smelling moisturizer, and laying down with a Korean face mask to listen to one of my podcasts. Honestly, one of my favorite luxuries is absolutely free - slipping into a freshly made bed with sheets just off the line.

I classify buying really good clothing/footwear/outdoor wear under frugality. I’d rather have a $300 sweater that will last twenty years than a series of fast fashion versions. Of course, I’m a pretty staid dresser, so your mileage may vary.

And if I can add to the UGGS conversation - have you seen the UGGS slides? They’re basically flip-flops. Shearling lined flip-flops! Why?!?

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I say buy the dress, Rhys. It's a very special occasion and you are not "just" the grandmother! And surely it's something you could wear on another occasion, like a conference banquet when you are nominated for yet another award?

I'm with you on the upgraded air travel, although I can usually only do it when I can bump up my original ticket with mileage. Business class on a transatlantic flight can make the difference between a productive first few days on a trip, or exhausted misery. And I adore nice hotels. And restaurants. For the most part, I'd rather spend money on doing things rather than having them.

RHYS:  I'm still toying with the dress but also thinking of this one. What do you think?

I've Made it!

 RHYS BOWEN:  Dear Reds and Readers, I'm happy to report that after years of hard work and struggle, I have finally made it to the top. I am officially a writer of stature! An A lister!

How do I know this?  Because FAKE RHYS BOWEN has been contacting other writers, just like fake James Patterson and Fake Julia Quinn.  I only learned this because fake Rhys Bowen happened to contact my friend Lee Goldberg.  Of course he contacted me with great glee. He posted on Facebook saying "You've never said that you'd love to share about your creative journey, what inspires the worlds and characters you create and how you keep your storytelling fresh and engaging when working with complex or layered material."

He added, but you did once throw yourself down a flight of stairs and get medi-vacced out of a hotel just to avoid talking with me! (that was when I fell and broke my pelvis!)

No, in real life we talk about the latest place he's found to eat on Oahu. I don't think real writers talk much about our creative journeys to each other.  I know we Reds don't. We talk of more mundane matters like sick dogs, children and occasionally publishing gripes. 

If you're a fellow writer you have probably been contacted by fake famous person.  I'm not sure what they hope to get out of it. Would someone be expected to pay five hundred dollars to talk to fake Rhys Bowen?

I get daily scammers offering to bring my book to book clubs, get more visibility on Amazon etc. Occasionally I reply, as when they offered to take the German version of a Molly book to a book club in Manhattan.  Mostly I ignore. Sometimes I write back to the book clubs and say that I'd love to meet with them and my usual fee is $2000.  I don't hear back.

Lee, with more time than me, does engage in a most amusing way.  He wrote back to fake Tana French, if I remember correctly, saying he was amazed she still wanted to talk to him after what happened. He was still in prison but the rape charge had been dropped.  To a fake famous guy he replied, "You have a nerve to contact me after what you did to my wife."

The stupid thing is that these scammers don't seem to realize that we writers know each other!  But I wonder how many self published authors do take the bait?

So dear Reds and Reddies, have you been getting these annoying scams? Do you just ignore and delete or try to respond?

The Importance of Art.

 RHYS BOWEN:  I've been spending a lot of time sitting in my living room lately as John recovers from pneumonia in his recliner.  This has given me time to look around and realize the importance of the art on my walls.  We have art on the walls of every room in our house. In fact sometimes we are on vacation and we see a lovely piece of art work and want to buy it. But then we look at each other. Where would we put it? No walls left.  John has even suggested getting a bigger house to allow for more art work. 

But I do enjoy the art we already own. The major piece in our living room is a simple sketch. Can you guess who it is by? 

The answer is Gaugin. Not his usual style or part of the Earth. We acquired it when John was helping a friend with his moving business when we were first married. He was emptying a house for a woman after a nasty divorce and she told him to take what she didn't want.  He brought home this picture. We loved it. And didn't think any more about it until we were at the Gaugin museum in Tahiti and there was its sibling, identical. So we came home and looked and it is a numbered print!  Not worth as much as an original Gaugin but definitely not to be sneezed at.

Apart from that we have a lot of Chinese plates I'm not very fond of. But they came from John's grandfather when he was the British district officer in Malaysia.  I'm sure they are valuable too, but I don't really care.  I like art that means something to me:  my favorite piece is this:

I was in Cornwall with my daughter and son-in-law and we visited an art gallery. We each decided which work we liked best and Tom and I agreed on one of St. Michael's Mount.  Behind my back Tom had it shipped back to me for Christmas... best Christmas gift ever!  I sit on my sofa and stare at it and sigh.

Also in the living room we have a print of Sutton Place, which was where his grandmother grew up. When we took our daughter Anne to visit she asked "And why did we give this up?"  Good question.

But most of the other art on our walls is only of sentimental value. It reminds me of places we have loved. So I suppose that art has to mean something to me personally, to take me somewhere and provide beauty. I have no abstract art at all. I certainly wouldn't want anything too unsettling or unharmonious on my walls. We also have a lot of family photos in hallways and in my office are framed Edgar certificates and other awards.  And there is my award shelf, halfway down the stairs, which gives me encouragement when I most need it.

So how about you?  Is art important to you? Do you have a particular piece you love?