This years Oscars - Say what??

 HALLIE EPHRON: Tonight is (drum roll, please) THE ACADEMY AWARDS!

I remember the days when I'd actually seen nearly all of the movies nominated. Today, not so much.

Here are the movies nominated for best picture of 2023:

"American Fiction"
"Anatomy of a Fall"
"Barbie"
"The Holdovers"
"Killers of the Flower Moon"
"Maestro"
"Oppenheimer"
"Past Lives"
"Poor Things"
"The Zone of Interest"

I am chagrined to admit it, but I have seen exactly one.

I actually went to a movie theatre to see it and had a blast, though I could not get the closed-captioning thingy to work and I still, after all these years, refuse to spring for popcorn. The seats are much more comfy than they used to be, and sightlines pretty great. The movie was... fun, inventive, diverting.

The scary thing is I do not know anything about most of the other movies on the list. Not what they're about or who's in them or why they're considered Oscar-worthy.

That got me wondering how different this year is from, say, ten years ago. Here were 2013's nominees:

Amour
Argo
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Django Unchained
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

At least I've heard of most of these movies, though I only actually saw one (Silver Linings Playbook).

Go back ten more years to 2003, pre-streaming, and there were half as many nominees...
Chicago
Gangs of New York
The Hours
Lord of the RIngs: The Two Towers
The Pianist.

At least in this list I'm familiar with all of them, and have actually seen four.

I know the movie business is changing, what with streaming. And there are no more box office blockbuster stars like Elizabeth Taylor or Cary Grant. But it surprises even me the extent to which the Oscars have become so ... irrelevant to the average movie lovers experience. After all, we're certainly glued to our "screens."

I'll end by recommending a movie I did see and enjoyed: Taylor Swift's ERAS The Eras Tour.

And a new TV show that will appeal to mystery fans like me and is on CBS (streaming on Paramount) - ELSBETH.

It features a character I loved, a quirky attorney from THE GOOD WIFE, Elsbeth Tascioni, portrayed by Carrie Preston. In the first episode she sleuths out a killer by the way that a (supposed) suicide note is typed. I've got my fingers crossed that the subsequent episodes are as much fun and easily cruise past my mystery writer's sniff test.

So have you seen any of this year's best picture nominees and what are you rooting for? Is there a movie you wish had been nominated?

Should We Talk About Barbie?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: So, should we talk about Barbie? Seems like we kind of have to. 

Like… What, though? Here are some random thoughts.

This is a photo I got from WIkipedia of Ruth Handler, the person who invented the doll we think of called Barbie. She reportedly did not keep any of the original dolls. And there's a whole lot more interesting stuff, including that Ruth's daughter was named Barbie, and so far, more than a billion Barbie dolls have sold.

The movie? I will never get my husband to go see this movie with me. Even if I frantically eagerly wanted to go, he would not go. And actually, I would not even ask him. 

Last year I bought an absolutely gorgeous hot pink blazer. It is beautiful, and I have worn it on book tour several times. However. Now, if I wear it, someone will point to it and say: "oh, a Barbie jacket." It is not a Barbie jacket. It is a pink jacket that I bought a year ago. But now it is unwearable. Likewise, my perfectly gorgeous ballerina pink kitten heels. Which I adore. Which are now off the rotation. 

This is a Barbie you can buy at Target right now. I was thinking about all the people who had Barbies. (I can’t remember if I had one. Clearly, if I did, it did not make an impression. I would have been 10 when they came out in 1959, so I  was the demo, theoretically.)  Anyway, it struck me this morning that all of the kids who had Barbies all  named them Barbie. They were just instantly Barbie. Like, Cabbage Patch kids probably had different names depending on who owned them. And other dolls probably were named by the people who played with them. But Barbie is/was always Barbie. That’s kind of weird.

I have heard that people cried at the Barbie movie. That is a  very complicated thing, and makes me want to see it even less. I guess it's triumph of the human/doll spirit, which is making me tear up just to think about it.

I am curious, though, and I don’t want to mislead you. I do kind of want to see it.  But I would not dress up like Barbie – – although I could wear my pink jacket ha ha – – to see the movie. Are people in your town dressing up in pink when they go to the movie? When was the last time you dressed up like something to go to a movie? 

I am constantly baffled and amused by the things that become national obsessions. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, truly, it’s just always so fascinating to see what becomes a thing.

What are your random thoughts about Barbie— whether movie, doll or experience?

RHYS BOWEN: I was too old for Barbie when she came out. Actually I would have loved one when I was eight or nine as I was quite into dolls and dressing them and doing their hair. I made a whole family of pipe cleaner dolls for the doll’s house and I had a doll put out by Girl Magazine that must have been a forerunner to Barbie because you could brush her hair and get patterns to make her clothes.

My girls loved Barbies and Ken and Midge and the whole tribe. We had Barbie’s dream car and dream kitchen and loads of clothes. My mother, the craft expert, made them gorgeous outfits, both sewn and knitted.

But I don’t intend to see the Barbie movie and I’d never wear pink to it. The only time recently we did dress up was for an Abba cover band. Most of the audience in sparkly things, some in bell bottoms and big shoulders and everyone standing up and singing. That was fun.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I want to see it! Rick will probably watch it (although maybe not GO to it) as he's a big fan of Margot Robbie. I think Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie are smart and creative and I want to see what they do with this.  I've never dressed up for a movie so not sure I'd go that far, however.

As for Barbie, I didn't play with dolls normally, but I can remember making up some pretty wacky stories involving Barbies with my cousins. My daughter had Barbies, but much preferred My Little Ponies for her invented adventures.

LUCY BURDETTE: Yes I want to see the movie! And yes, I had a Barbie doll. I played a lot with dolls and other creatures, especially my collection of stuffed animals (mostly cats.) However, I loved Barbie. I craved more Barbie paraphernalia, but there were four of us and the budget did not include the Barbie Dream House and convertible and Ken and Skipper etc. However, my cousin, who was an only child, had everything. When we went to their house for family events, I would disappear into her room by myself and play and play and play.

Hank, it’s such a good question about what phenomenon becomes a national obsession. I’m sure there are marketing people studying this, right? Meanwhile, I say to you, embrace the pink jacket and the pink shoes!

HALLIE EPHRON: I had a Betsy McCall doll, which was THE doll before Barbie. With her it was about the clothes. My kids had Barbies, and they never forgave us for getting their Barbies from yard sales. Major Faux Pas. What can I say, I’m cheap. To make up for things I have given my granddaughter Barbies and Little Mermaids and…

I’m sure I’ve shared this before, but my daughter Naomi and her friends Kate and Laura used to play Headless Barbie’s Clothing Store. All of their dolls had come apart and the store sold doll parts. Sounds gruesome but it was just sweet.

Oh gosh YES I’ll see the movie. (This is Greta Gerwig’s take on Barbie!!!) And nothing could stop me from wearing hot pink.

JENN McKINLAY: LOL! Hallie, I love Headless Barbie’s Clothing Store - it’s like something out of the Netflix show Wednesday. I didn’t have a Barbie. My mom was a hardcore feminist and Barbie was a big old hell no, which is why I’m fascinated to see the movie’s feminist take. So, yes, I will go see it. I was a big time tomboy and never asked for a Barbie so I didn’t feel the lack. I much preferred being rough and tumble outside than being inside with dolls. If I was inside, I was reading. Lest, you think I was deprived, I did have a Tuesday Taylor doll - very on point in the late 70’s. She was super cool because her scalp swiveled, so she could be blonde or brunette. Take that, Barbie! LOL. 

Also, I frequently wonder if there would be such a big hullabaloo about pink if we called it what it is – light red. Thoughts?

HANK: Hmm. Is pink really light red? Now I am thinking about this…

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I was the perfect age for the
original Barbie, and I actually had the first, rather immovable model, in the black and white striped bathing suit.

By Original uploaded by Barbieologin at Wikimedia Commons (Original uploaded at 2009-08-11 10:16) as File:Mattelno1br.jpg. Permission CC-BY-3.0; Released under the {{Cc-by-3.0}} license (Transferred by Crakkerjakk 12:05, 16 June 2012 (UTC)., CC BY 3.0, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=36158228

Alas, as we relocated constantly from one military post to the other, my mom got rid of any toys we weren’t currently playing with, so I think that particular doll went into the yard sale box when I was seven, and had moved on to Barbies with bendable joints and “real” eyelashes. 

I don’t recall ever having the Dream House, but I had several cool boxes that fit one or the Barbies and their clothes and accessories. And did mine ever have clothes - my mom was an expert seamstress and sewed whole wardrobes as Christmas presents for me. 

Great Barbie moments I recall: there was the time I washed one of my doll’s hair and decided to dry it by sticking her head in my Easy Bake oven. That’s when little Julie learned plastic melts into horrific shapes. Then there was Growing Hair Barbie, with a button in her stomach that made a long fall sprout from the top of head. The most extraordinary was my sister’s Growing Up Skipper. You turned Skipper’s arm and she went through puberty, getting longer in the waist and developing, yes, breasts. I myself was going through the same process, and remember my mom and I laughing hysterically as we made Skipper’s chest go from flat to fluffy and back again. My sister got quite peeved.

Oh, and my sister, Barb? I’ll let you guess what she was called throughout her entire childhood.

HANK: Let me be clear–I adore the fun people are having with this! And I think the whole phenomenon is fascinating. But do you dare me to wear my pink jacket on book tour this week? I’ll be in Jacksonville FL on Wednesday, and Atlanta on Thursday and Friday. Should we predict how long before someone says Barbie? I could be…Gramma Barbie.

How about you, Reds and Readers?  Going to the movie? Seen it? Comments on the movie’s big speech? Headless Barbie? Wearing pink? Did you have a Barbie?

Uppity women

HALLIE EPHRON: Some NYU researchers have concluded that by the age of 6, girls are less likely to view girls than boys as brilliant. On top of this comes the news that American parents Googled “Is my son a genius?” more than twice as often as they Googled “Is my daughter a genius?” They also Googled “Is my daughter overweight?” about 70 percent more often than “Is my son overweight?” (Which got me wondering if it's parents who are more likely to be overweight and less likely to be geniuses.)

I have never had a problem calling myself a feminist. I’m the third of four sisters, daughter of one of Hollywood’s first female screenwriters, a mouthy broad, and I have never doubted women can be brilliant. My daughters, just for example, are brilliant. And it took me a very long time to find a man I thought was smarter than me (and interested enough) to marry. A physicist, he still can’t find the butter in a half-empty refrigerator or fry an egg while sorting laundry.

Now I have two grandchildren, a 11-month old boy and a 3 1/2 year old girl, and you can believe me when I tell you they are both brilliant. However, I find myself questioning my feminist credentials as I bestow upon my grandson a virtual fleet of trucks and cars, while to my granddaughter I search out the fanciest mermaid princess costume and ballerina dolls. It’s what they want, I say.

Or is it what I want to give them?

So where are you in the gender wars? And does hearing that it requires “brilliance” to do something put you off from trying?

LUCY BURDETTE: This is tricky Hallie, because I believe so much sexism and racism is embedded deep below our consciousness, both individually and as a country. I learned about sexism in the women's movement in the late 70s when I went to graduate school in Tennessee. I bought my copy of OUR BODIES, OURSELVES, my own plastic speculum (lol), and joined a consciousness raising group. And I have no doubt that women are as smart as men. But I have many old roots telling me (for one example) that the home is the purview of the woman.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  I am so baffled by this. And have no idea. I have two grandsons, 7 and 14. They want trucks, Legos, fighting stuff, wars, superheroes, Pokemon, videogames, competition, silly jokes.

The little girls next door, 7 and 14, are totally different. The are semi-tomboys--hmmm, probably can't say that now?--soccer and horseback riding and running around and skateboards. But they never saw sparkly stuff they didn't like. And would never turn down a tiara.

BUT--if you asked me who was "smarter"? Ah. They are all equally brilliant.

And. As I was deplaning yesterday, the man across the aisle gestured me to go first. He said "Ladies should always go first." And I said "Yes. Very true! Especially in dangerous situations."

I was very proud of myself.


HALLIE: Ha ha ha! Mango, anyone? This reminds me of the hilarious song from FREE TO BE YOU AND ME, Marlo Thomas singing "Ladies First."



INGRID THOFT: I'm the youngest of four daughters raised by parents who always taught us that we were strong, smart, and capable.  Given that as a society we choose to paint newborns' rooms based on their gender (let's remember that newborns don't even see that well,) I would say that humans are still socialized along very strict gender lines. 

It drives me crazy when people talk about a kid being "such a boy" because he's energetic or likes to play with trucks.  I'm an aunt to 14, (eight girls and six boys,) and I can tell you that we have energetic girls and low-key boys, girls who like building things and boys who like stuffed animals.  Their interests and strength run the gamut, but they're all brilliant, of course. ;) 

DEBORAH CROMBIE: My parents never gave me the least idea that there was anything I couldn't do because I was a girl, or that I wasn't as smart as boys. And I was a tomboy (what do we say now, for girls who don't play with dolls and girly things?) as was my daughter.

It's too early to say about my granddaughter, but I wonder how much girls' preference for girly things and boys' for boy stuff is due to the expectations of parents? I do strongly feel, however, that there is still a strong cultural gender bias, and that it is on the uptick with the current social climate. 

JENN MCKINLAY: Gender wars. It's difficult for me to accept that we still have to fight, that we haven't evolved as a society enough to see individuals beyond their gender.

I am a feminist but mostly I'm a humanist -- I guess that would be the word. I believe in the power of the individual to defy the odds, to make their own way, to be better than the people who came before, no matter their gender, race, religion, or socio-economic status.

My brother and I are only eleven months apart with him being older. He was my first best friend and the person I admired above all others (still do). As the youngest of six, we were always together. Always. Even our name became one word: JedandJenny! We were allowed to run wild and we did. Mischief and shenanigans abounded and it would never have occurred to either of us that there was anything from skateboarding to sewing that my brother could do that I couldn't or vice versa because of our gender.

I am ever grateful for my childhood and have strived to teach my boys to view the world the same way.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: My mother was a feminist in the sixties and seventies (I mean, of course, she still is, but that's when she got her consciousness raised.) She raised my sister and me to expect to work, to value ourselves outside any relationship with a man, and to require respect. She was also adamant about a woman's right to choose - parenthood or not, stay-at-home or career, dresses or jeans and a T shirt. That upbringing has stood us in good stead as Barb and I have been single career girls, working mothers, stay at home mothers and work-at-home mothers.

I worry much less about the girl-toy versus boy-toy divide since I actually had kids. The Smithie and The Sailor are only 15 months apart, so they shared most of their toys and activities. They both took dance, they both took karate. The both swam, the both did gymnastics. Their equality carried on into high school, where they both ran X-C and track, and were both involved in theater.


True, she would spend hours dressing up her Barbies and playacting with them; while he never saw a toy truck he didn't like. And as young adults? They're both "woke," as the kids say today, both very aware of feminism, privilege, intersectionality, etc. The Smithie is a take-charge, aggressive person and The Sailor has a soft heart. And she still likes to dress very "girly" and his first car was a pick-up truck!

RHYS BOWEN: I was quite an adventurous girl, always getting knees skinned when I jumped out one of our apple trees. I went to a highly academic girls school and my classmates all expected to go into the professions. When I worked at the BBC I was treated with the same respect as my male colleages. 

I had four children, three girls and then a boy. I was interested to note in what ways he would be different. My girls all liked to play tea parties, to dress up in my clothes and shoes. When Dominic was two months old he was lying in his crib with a cradle gym above him. In his hand was a rattle. For about twenty minutes he looked at the rattle, then at the cradle gym. Rattle. Gym. Then suddenly he gave the gym an almighty swipe with the rattle.

That's a boy, I thought. Although he had all the girly stuff at his disposal he played with cars, trucks, balls, taking things to pieces. And my girls were all in the gifted program, as was my son.

But I think we do unconsciously stereotype. My daughter has twins. When they were babies people would say "Hi, handsome!" in a big voice to the boy, and "Hello, princess" in a gentle voice to the girl. She has turned out to be as physical and tough as her brother: a black belt in karate and absolutely terrifying on a skate board!

And I have to add there are certain males in the USA who still want to think of us as the little women, knowing their place in the kitchen!!!!

HALLIE: Guilty! If my husband tried to take over MY place in the kitchen, I'd drop kick him into the den. This is not because I think women's place is in the kitchen, it's because I'm a much better cook and he'll make stuff I don't feel like eating. Control freak? Yes. Sexist? In effect but not by intent.

It's... complicated. Or is it?

What's your Red Ryder BB gun?

Remember what Ralphie Parker lusts after in Jean Shepherd's wonderful "A Christmas Story": "An official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle (BB Gun) with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time"?

My Red Ryder BB Gun was what I called a high-heel doll. This was in the days of yore, before Barbie, guys, and the doll I wanted was about a foot tall and she had an, ahem, woman's figure and she wore high-heeled shoes. My mother, bless her, bought me one, but the one she picked was blonde. I hid my disappointment and kept the doll, but I mean, look at me, am I blonde?

It seems so silly now, but those feelings came back to me awhile back when I bought my daughter (she's now in her 30s) her lusted-after doll: Kid Sister. She opened it and I recognized that dismayed look. Turned out I'd purchased a knock-off (in this case brunette instead of blonde). I returned it the next day, but she still trots this story out every Christmas to demonstrate how cheap I am.

So, what was your Red Ryder BB Gun, the present you lusted after, and did you get it?

RHYS: My best story of Christmas longing came when I was eighteen. Transistor radios had just been invented. (Okay, I'm giving away my age here, I admit) They were really expensive. I really wanted one but a dear friend was getting married in Germany over Christmas and had invited me to be bridesmaid. So my parents were paying for my fare as my Christmas present.

So I didn't even mention the transistor radio. My parents weren't overflowing with cash. Then on Christmas morning I opened my stocking (yes, I still had a stocking at 18) and the first thing I found was a battery. I stared at it wondering why on earth anybody should think I might want a battery for Christmas. Then the thought gradually crystallized... it couldn't be... they couldn't possibly know... I dug through the stocking and there, at the very bottom, was my transistor radio. I still get weepy when I think about it. It was my father, of course. He was such a kind and perceptive and generous man.

HANK: OH, Rhys, even I get weepy when I hear that story. Transistor radios were such a big deal. I was glued to mine, listening to the top 40. And the battery! No wonder you write suspense!

Anyway, this is probably some deep psychological thing, and Roberta will want to come right over and talk or something. But I must confess, I don't remember wanting--or getting--anything in particular. Oh, I did want stuff. And our Christmas mornings under the tree were an embarrassing array of presents for my parents and for all us kids. I think it was even Christmas when I got my first pony. But I don't remember, exactly.

It must be some sort of object lesson: I do remember, perfectly, the Christmas when my parents decided we weren't going to have a tree, and on Christmas Eve, my sister Nina and I sneaked out and got one, and put it up in the middle of the night, surprising everyone. And I remember we always got chocolate oranges in our stockings, the kind you whap on a table and the sections come apart? I can't even look at those now without welling up.

HALLIE: Hold on, Hank. You got a PONY?

RO: Ah yes, I remember getting my first PONY...I think mine was a handbag...

HANK: Okay, yes, I'm laughing. We lived in what was then pretty rural Indiana. We had a big barn, and there were four-going-on-five kids, and yeah, we got a pony. A Welsh pony named Sable. And from then on, we all had to muck out stalls before we went to school. Happy New Year!

ROBERTA: No, no Hank, I'm not rushing over to chat. You sound just fine:).

HANK: Oh, whew. (I mean, not that I wouldn't love to have you come chat.)

ROBERTA: My sister and I got a transistor radio too--we're 11 months apart so we often ended up sharing (and that's another story for a different day!) I was a huge doll fan--distinctly remember the year I asked for and received Patty Play Pal. (Isn't that an awful-sounding name?) But I really, really loved Barbies. There were four of us kids, and we got plenty of loot, but never as much as my only-child cousin. We'd head over to her house for Christmas dinner and I'd disappear into her room for hours to play with her stuff. Barbie's Dream House, Barbie and Ken and Barbie's sister and Ken's convertible, and racks and racks and racks of outfits. No wonder I like spending time with my characters...

JAN: Hard to choose from among all the toys I so desperately wanted for Christmas, ...I had three older brothers, so I was always longing for girl stuff. Easy Bake oven, (never got it), the light up vanity (got it), but most of all Tressy. Tressy was supposed to be competition for Barbie, but with a button in her stomach that made her hair grow to any length. I wanted her, I got her, and then I took her to my best friend Karen MacVicker's. Karen had two older sisters and every possible Barbie outfit. As it turned out, the outfits didn't fit Tressy, who immediately seemed second rate.

RO: I don't remember lusting after anything in particular. I was not a Barbie gal, or any dolls really. Calling Dr. Roberta...

I do know that I NEVER wanted whatever it was that Aunt Mary got me. Nice woman but not only did the woman choose the worst presents for kids - umbrellas, rubber boots, goofy hats, stuff no kid wants - she got all twelve of us the same thing in different colors. And of course we'd each have to open them and PRETEND that we didn't know what it was. (Sorry Aunt Mare.)

I did get the EasyBake oven one year which cooked with a light bulb. Very strange. After you used the box of (I'm sure it was all chemicals) cake mix, I don't remember what you were supposed to do.

HALLIE: That Easy Bake oven ended up on the "dangerous toys" list some year or other because it could burn you...duh.

I had one and I have to say it was one of the best toys ever. It had tiny little boxes of cake mix that you could actually whip up and cook in tiny little pans. And I did it all wear my Mom's frilly apron. (I DON'T THINK SO! My mother who wore high heels just about 24-hours a day would not have been caught dead in a frilly apron.)

So, gang, what was your Red Ryder BB Gun?

And tune in later in the week--Wednesday WRITER MAMA Christina Katz will be visiting JRW, and she'll be talking about that mysterious entity, a writer's platform, and how to "Get Known Before the Book Deal." Friday we'll be welcoming mistress of all things mysterious Janet Rudolph, editor of Mystery Readers Journal.