SOMETHING'S FISHY

JENN McKINLAY: There was a murder in our house this week. Or so I thought. 

The origin story: Way back in October, Hooligan 1 and his Plus 1 arrived at our house with a sad looking goldfish that Plus 1 had won at a carnival game at October Fest. They already had their quota on critters, so Hub and I happily adopted the little fish, naming it Shohei Ohtani because Hub's beloved Dodgers were in the World Series.

Surprisingly, our cats all ignored little Shohei...well, all except one.

Tig was rather obsessed with Shohei and liked to "help" me feed him. For his part, Shohei didn't seem to mind the chonky cat, as if knowing Tig couldn't reach him and his life was such an upgrade from carnie life that he frequently did zoomies around his tank and was a talented rapper, his fave being Eminem's Lose Yourself (see video - which I hope managed to capture the audio).

Fast forward to this week, Hub and I left the menagerie to play in our weekly volleyball league (where we froze but that's another blog post). Tig had "helped" me feed Shohei before we left and I thought nothing of it. 

When we arrived home, I went to switch off the tank light but little fish did not come to rap at me. Huh. I looked to see if he was hiding in his house. Nope. There was no sign of him. Little Shohei was GONE and there was no sign of a struggle. The tank was intact, no water anywhere, nothing. 

I was distraught. Shohei had brought me much joy over the past few months and I adored him.

I wanted to know what happened to him, but there was absolutely no evidence. Still I had my suspicions...my "helper" Tig must have done it! Hub pointed out the impossibility of the cat opening the tiny food door, grabbing the fish, and closing the food door without making a mess but I was still unconvinced. I mean look at this face. It has apex predator all over it!

I called Hooligan 1 and he was very sweet about the loss. When I talked to my mom the next morning she suggested the "fish rapture" might have taken Shohei. LOL. I kept giving Tig a side eye, wondering if he'd burp up some fish bones. He did not.

Then Hooligan 2 stopped by with his Plus 1 (they'd snagged me a cupcake to help push through my deadline) and I told them the story of the mysterious disappearance. They were also sad (we all adored Shohei). And then Hooligan 2 said, "Mom, he's in the bottom of his cave. Very dead."

What?! I went racing over to check and sure enough there he was. Y'all, I checked that tank with a flashlight. He was not in there! I have no idea where little dude was hiding his dead self for 24 hours, but he managed it. This morning, I buried him in our backyard pet sematary cemetery with a simple somber service. 

Now here's the take away: This is exactly how people believe an innocent person did something that they didn't do! I was thinking with my heart and not my head, looking for a culprit when it was natural causes (in my defense if Shohei's body had been visible from the beginning, we could have avoided all of the unpleasantness, but I digress). For what it's worth, I profusely apologized to Tig for all of the dark looks I sent his way and gave him extra treats. "When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong." (Who knows what movie that quote is from?).

Anyway, anyone else misjudge their pet as badly as I did? Or have a goofy pet story to share? Happy Friday!

 

Lessons from My Mother-in-Law

LUCY BURDETTE:  My mother-in-law died two weeks ago—it was a sad and wrenching time, even though she was 102 and lived a wonderful life. All seven of her children were there to see her out, along with four in-laws.

Dorothy was a little suspicious of me when I arrived on the scene in 1991. John had experienced an unpleasant divorce, and she was very protective of her chicks. How could she be certain that I would treat him well?

In 1995, I was a nervous new golfer when I invited her to our club’s member-guest—my first foray into competition. (She had taken up the game at age 40, and was especially known for her putting expertise.) As we were eating breakfast before the tournament, our talk turned to dreams.

I said: “I dreamed last night that we got lost on the golf course.”

She said: “I dreamed they told me I was too old to enter.”

We laughed and laughed, and became fast friends after that. She wasn’t one to brag about her offspring, though she didn’t allow anyone to say anything bad about them either. She read most of my books, right up to the time when her macular degeneration prevented her from reading even large print. But she still carried the large print edition of MURDER WITH GANACHE tucked under her arm in the assisted living facility, so the other “inmates” could see that her daughter-in-law was a writer.
 
Of course, we've all been thinking about her legacy. Here are a few of the things I learned from her example:

The Brady Bunch, 1959

1. Family is king. Her centrifugal force in this family was powerful—she treasured and worried over each child (7), grandchild (17), great-grandchild (12), and in-law.

2. Keep moving! As I mentioned, she took up golf at 40 and played into her 90’s. Whenever we visited, she had planned a schedule of events that could have laid out a much younger person—bridge, visits to the library, golf, cooking, theater…And when she moved to assisted living in Maine, she went on every outing the activities director planned, and attended most of the in-house sessions, including a daily discussion of current events.

3. Hydrate. My sister-in-law Lisa said this one perfectly—she considered coffee and manhattans/martinis to be excellent ways to hydrate.

4. Embrace your age. She was uncomfortable at first with people pointing her out as a centenarian, but she finally gave that up and took whatever came. With the help of Lisa and other family, she threw a giant 100th birthday weekend that pulled the whole extended family together. (This was the chocolate cake I made for her at 102--she'd already devoured the coconut cake made by my sister-in-law Lisa.)

And one more irresistible photo from Julia Child's birthday celebration at Lisa's house. Note the pearls and the cookbooks...

What memorable life lessons do you carry with you from a special person?

Life Lessons I may never learn.

RHYS BOWEN: A couple of years ago I wrote a blog about life lessons I may never learn. One of the first lessons on the list was never to try out a new hairdresser just before I'm about to go on a book tour.
So guess what I did today? I went to a new salon. One that came with good reviews and used organic products. And I knew I was in trouble when my stylist asked how much I wanted taken off. Then she snipped maybe an eighth of an inch and asked if it all right so far. Then another eighth, very tentatively. Since I didn't trust her skill to take off more I left it at that. So my bangs are still in my eyes. My hair is still straggly at the back of my neck and too long to style properly.
So what do I do? Find another salon before I go on tour next week? Or...another of the life lessons from my list.. snip at my bangs myself?

Here is my list. How many are you guilty of?

Ten Life Lessons I have yet to Learn (and may never do so)

1. I can’t trim my bangs as well as my hairdresser. I should especially never try this on the night before I leave for a convention.
2. On a similar theme: I should never try out a new hairdresser on the day before a book tour or photo shoot.
3. Shoes from catalogs never fit me. And there is a second part to this: items in a catalog never look as good in real life. This may be because they are modeled by 18 year old size 00s and pinned for the pix..
4. A review is just one person’s opinion. I keep telling myself this but the least little snipe sends me into deep depression.
5. If I take only one white shirt on a trip, there will always be turbulence on the flight and I'll get coffee spatters on it. 
6. I should never try out a new recipe on the night I have guests I want to impress.
7. I should not buy something just because it’s a bargain. My closet is full of such items, not ever loved and hardly ever worn.
8. Worrying gets you nowhere. I am a champion worrier.
9. I have no control over the success of a book after it leaves my hands. I can work myself into exhaustion setting up events, touring, making postcards, doing radio interviews and in the end it all comes down to the publisher, timing and luck.
10. I can’t please all of the people all of the time. There is never going to be one book that is equally loved by the whole population. So some readers will always complain when there is a touch of romance in my books and others will complain that there is not enough romance in my books. I should therefore only write to please myself.
11. Okay, so I can’t count either. But if there’s only one life lesson I should have learned is that life is short and wonderful, there’s no going back, we’re only celebrating this day once, so make the most of it.

Who would like to share life lessons that they have never learned but would like to?

So how about you?. Are there any life lessons you’ve finally learned the hard way, or are you like me—destined to make the same mistakes over and over.