SOMETHING'S FISHY

JENN McKINLAY: There was a murder in our house this week. Or so I thought. 

The origin story: Way back in October, Hooligan 1 and his Plus 1 arrived at our house with a sad looking goldfish that Plus 1 had won at a carnival game at October Fest. They already had their quota on critters, so Hub and I happily adopted the little fish, naming it Shohei Ohtani because Hub's beloved Dodgers were in the World Series.

Surprisingly, our cats all ignored little Shohei...well, all except one.

Tig was rather obsessed with Shohei and liked to "help" me feed him. For his part, Shohei didn't seem to mind the chonky cat, as if knowing Tig couldn't reach him and his life was such an upgrade from carnie life that he frequently did zoomies around his tank and was a talented rapper, his fave being Eminem's Lose Yourself (see video - which I hope managed to capture the audio).

Fast forward to this week, Hub and I left the menagerie to play in our weekly volleyball league (where we froze but that's another blog post). Tig had "helped" me feed Shohei before we left and I thought nothing of it. 

When we arrived home, I went to switch off the tank light but little fish did not come to rap at me. Huh. I looked to see if he was hiding in his house. Nope. There was no sign of him. Little Shohei was GONE and there was no sign of a struggle. The tank was intact, no water anywhere, nothing. 

I was distraught. Shohei had brought me much joy over the past few months and I adored him.

I wanted to know what happened to him, but there was absolutely no evidence. Still I had my suspicions...my "helper" Tig must have done it! Hub pointed out the impossibility of the cat opening the tiny food door, grabbing the fish, and closing the food door without making a mess but I was still unconvinced. I mean look at this face. It has apex predator all over it!

I called Hooligan 1 and he was very sweet about the loss. When I talked to my mom the next morning she suggested the "fish rapture" might have taken Shohei. LOL. I kept giving Tig a side eye, wondering if he'd burp up some fish bones. He did not.

Then Hooligan 2 stopped by with his Plus 1 (they'd snagged me a cupcake to help push through my deadline) and I told them the story of the mysterious disappearance. They were also sad (we all adored Shohei). And then Hooligan 2 said, "Mom, he's in the bottom of his cave. Very dead."

What?! I went racing over to check and sure enough there he was. Y'all, I checked that tank with a flashlight. He was not in there! I have no idea where little dude was hiding his dead self for 24 hours, but he managed it. This morning, I buried him in our backyard pet sematary cemetery with a simple somber service. 

Now here's the take away: This is exactly how people believe an innocent person did something that they didn't do! I was thinking with my heart and not my head, looking for a culprit when it was natural causes (in my defense if Shohei's body had been visible from the beginning, we could have avoided all of the unpleasantness, but I digress). For what it's worth, I profusely apologized to Tig for all of the dark looks I sent his way and gave him extra treats. "When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong." (Who knows what movie that quote is from?).

Anyway, anyone else misjudge their pet as badly as I did? Or have a goofy pet story to share? Happy Friday!

 

House Guests: Yea or Nay?

INGRID THOFT

“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”  - Benjamin Franklin

Summer is the season of visiting out-of-town friends and family and hosting them, especially if you live in a particularly appealing location.  July and August are perfect in Seattle, but for better or worse, we don’t have much room for hosting.

Some people set the hosting bar quite high.  Martha Stewart suggests you provide guests with a manual on how to operate appliances, a baked good for the trip home, and chilled water at their bedside.  She even advocates for a attractive sitting area if space permits!

Arden goes for it!

When we lived in Massachusetts, ten years ago, we didn’t host many overnight guests.  However, we had a pool, and we’re the hosts with the most in the summer months. We routinely welcomed twelve + guests for the day with the goal of feeding and entertaining them, and of course, making sure no one drowned!

It was great fun, but exhausting.  Interestingly enough, I found the clean-up from such days to actually be meditative.  I’d put on some favorite music, and my husband would tackle the outside while I put the kitchen and laundry (lots of beach towels to be washed!) in order.  We’d finish the day worn out, but so happy that we could provide a fun respite to those we love.

Ella and her turtle.

Most of my visits are to family, and although there’s a familiarity there, I try to follow the same rules as I would with a friend: be considerate, take care of a couple meals, strip your bed on your last day, and always write a thank you note. And, as Benjamin Franklin so aptly said, don’t overstay your welcome.  I’ve also found that a box of my favorite chocolates, Harbor Sweets, makes every host happy, and for a truly unique hostess gift, I bring some murder-themed cocktail napkins!

What do you say, Reds and readers?  Do you like to host or visit?  Any pet peeves?

House guests should be regarded as perishables:
Leave them out too long and they go bad.
-Erma Bombeck

Jay Roberts you won yesterday's giveaway!  Send me your address on FB!