What Did you Say?

RHYS BOWEN:  The other day I told my granddaughter I'd be finished in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

"What did you say?" she asked, looking as if I'd suddenly switched to speaking Chinese.

"Two shakes of a lamb's tail. That means almost immediately," I replied. "Haven't you ever heard that expression?"

"Never," she said.

And then it hit me. We don't use expressions any longer. The world of the young has become devoid of colorful language, of metaphors, of proverbs.

Two shakes of a lamb's tail was something my grandmother used to say. She and my great aunts had a wealth of such colorful language.

N'ere cast a clout until May is out--which I thought meant you weren't allowed to hit anybody until the end of May but really referred to casting off winter clothing.

Too many cooks spoil the broth and all the similar proverbs, of course.

Once a wish, twice a kiss, three times something better when you sneezed.

Many a slip twixt cup and lip. Pride comes before a fall. All of the above directed at me when I was trying something daring, dangerous or new.

My father also had his share of colorful language.

His favorite to me was "don't count your chickens before they are hatched." or usually abbreviated to "Don't count chickens" when I was excited about planning some future scheme.

Another favorite was "donkey's years."  As in "That place has been going for donkey's years."

And then he threw in some Cockney expressions picked up from his childhood. (Although he wasn't a Cockney he grew up in London, hearing all this colorful language).  "Time to go up the apples and pears." meaning stairs.

Another way of telling a child to go to bed in England during my childhood was "Up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire."

And an absolute favorite from rural Britain was that something would be completed "come dungspread."

Having just written this I think I must put Georgie on a farm in a future novel so I can use such expressions.

Do you think these colorful expressions have completely disappeared these days? Do you still use any of them? Which ones do you remember from your childhood? And is the English language permanently reduced to CU LOL and BFF?  I really hope not.

"Wassup?" She emoted.

RHYS BOWEN:  At one stage on Jungle Red we tried to keep Tuesday as a literary-related day, so I'm restoring that idea with some musings about language.

There are many reasons I enjoy setting my books in the first half of the Twentieth Century and I was reminded of one of them yesterday when I was watching TV and a character said ‘Yo. Wassup?”

I realized how far our use of language has sunk since the times I write about. People in those days had large vocabularies. They engaged in unhurried conversation. They read. They listened to books being read to them and they had time to express themselves eloquently. They wrote long, descriptive letters to each other. I still have some letters that my grandmother and great aunt wrote. They begin, “My dearest sister. I hope missive finds you in good health. As I pick up my pen to write to you I send you my fondest thoughts of greeting winging their way across the miles to you. “

               

 All that instead of “Wassup?” They had time, you see. They could not phone, text or even see each other often, so letters were important. My great-grandmother decided to go to Australia when she was in her eighties. In those days that meant goodbye forever and a letter from home would take several months. I’ve often thought how poignant it must have been that a loved one might not know for a long time that their relative across the world was sick or even dead. They wouldn’t know of a new baby or a marriage. No wonder letters were so detailed, so expressive.

                What a contrast to our means of expression today. Seriously I think we are reverting to the stone age. Wassup is only one step away from pointing at the mouth and grunting when we want food.

My personal pet peeve is the phrase “My bad.”

My bad what? When did bad stop being an adjective and turn into a noun?

When people today say “My bad,” my characters would have said, “I’m frightfully sorry but in a momentary lapse of concentration I seem to have knocked over my glass and spilled a few drops of liquid on your skirt. I must apologize most profusely.”

Another pet peeve is “No problem.”

I asked a passing waiter if he would refill my water glass and he said “No problem.”

Of course there’s no problem, I wanted to yell. It’s your job to fill water glasses. That is why you are walking around with a pitcher.

I seriously believe that some of the problems of troubled youth come because they simply cannot express themselves eloquently. They don’t have the vocabulary to tell others what they fell.

“Know what I mean? Know what I mean?” They demand and unfortunately we don’t know what they mean because they can’t tell us.

The interesting thing is that in the times I write about—the 1900s through the 1930s a good vocabulary wasn’t just confined to the upper classes. Read the diaries of women in the Westward movement. So expressive and touching as they described the death of a child, the loneliness of the wilderness.  And read the works of Frederick Douglass, a black slave. Majestic prose.

So where did we go wrong? Is it that we are so short of time these days? That children are not encouraged to read? That families don’t have time to converse? That we are so addicted to our iPhones that we will soon be speaking entirely in texting shortcuts? I heart U2.

I’m going back to the nineteen thirties now and not one of my characters will say “Like” and “Y’know.” Or even Wassup?

So do you have any pet peeves about our modern vocabulary, or lack thereof?

RH

Reality Shows invading our language

JAN BROGAN - I had bought a winter jacket on line from one of those discount design houses and I was debating whether to keep it or not. My sister-in-law loved it, my daughter wasn't too sure. She had asked me to take a picture of myself in it and send it to her. Which I did. Her reply, also by text was along the lines of: "Go with your gut.: She added, "it looks like it could be a bit Kardashian-y."

I have never once watched the Kardashians on television, but I knew exactly what she meant. Expensive-looking for the sake of being expensive. A bit over the top. Maybe not appropriate to function. How did I know this? This is the mind boggling part. From the one or two times I've seen Kim Kardashian on the cover of a People Magazine at the allergists? From the one or two times I've flipped through TV stations and caught her image on Entertainment Weekly? It's not that I'm above reading about a celebrity in People, or watching a segment or two on Entertainment Weekly, total sucker for anything Jennifer Aniston, but because I never watch the Kardashian show, I don't ever read the Kardashian news or watch a segment on celebrity TV)keep flipping . So we are talking about very momentary images here.

So I'm wondering, has anyone else experienced new vocabulary, new thoughts or new awareness of reality shows without actually watching them? (THINK of your internal review of Steve Tyler singing the anthem at the Patriots/Ravens playoff game?)

ROSEMARY HARRIS: Sad but true. Every time I see a long-haired brunette who looks a little trashy I think - Kardashian! (including myself) As if it's a species. I've even got my husband saying it now. I've never seen the show either. I think for a while I said "Is that your final answer?" without ever having watched whatever show that came from. These things sneak into the lexicon (and our brains apparently) when we're not looking.

And it isn't that I'm too highbrow either...sitting around enjoying high tea and waiting for the next episode of Downton Abbey. I'm a sucker for Lucky and InStyle, two magazines devoted to hard-hitting journalism. Like the recent issue which compared the Kardashians' closets.(One of them has more Birkin bags than the other.)

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Oh, yes, it's like a disease, isn't it? I've never seen the Kardashians either, but would immediately have gotten the reference. And the tongue-in-cheek Kardashian clone on last week's Castle. My husband is always saying, "How did you know about that?" when he reads about the latest gossipy thing on Facebook. Obviously he doesn't do the grocery shopping! He has, however, started reading Entertainment Weekly magazine (which for some reason we get free,) so he is suddenly au courant. Too funny.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Ro, you're the CLASSY brunette, not the trashy one. Yes, I'm all too aware of the current reality shows, mostly because (Bad Mother alert) my 11 year old daughter reads ALL those gossip magazines. It's like she's the reincarnation of Hedda Hopper. When we're standing in line at the grocery and I'm staring blankly at pictures of people I don't know, she explains which one is a Teen Mom and which one is a Bachelorette. (Why isn't that show called The Spinster?) I'm aware you can watch people getting hatched, matched, and perhaps even dispatched on television today (if you count getting fried from THE APPRENTICE.) My personal opinion? It's the end of civilization as we know it.

Except for PAWN STARS! I love PAWN STARS.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Except for PROJECT RUNWAY, right? I truly love that. ANd you know, "Make it work." I was a huge fan of--oh,gosh, I'm telling you this--Survivor, when it first came out. I had a huge blow-up with an acquaintance over it--apparently my fascination with it indicated to him that I was incredibly shallow and not worth talking to. I am not exaggerating.

And even Jonathan says--"You really made it your own." And if you know where THAT comes from...

But it's a bit scary. The guy who's the Harvard Hasty Pudding choice? NO IDEA who he is. SO many people, I have NO IDEA. AND this is what I used to sneer at my mother about.

JAN - Oh Hank, does that mean you did NOT see The new Muppet Movie? Jason Segel (that's the actor getting the Hasty Pudding award) was awesome and I think he even wrote it - which makes him my new favorite hero because I'm a total sucker for the Muppets and even if I wasn't it was a totally uplifting movie, which unlike the reality shows, which as Julia points out,, are bringing down the culture, Jason and the Muppet movie are actually elevating it. But I suppose that's another blog.

RHYS BOWEN: Amen to Project Runway. I confess to having used "The tribe has spoken." I have enjoyed Survivor in the past, but now it's just silly little games. Why not TRUE SURVIVOR? Put people with no food on an island alone (with a few Komodo Dragons, poisonous snakes, sharks in the water) and see how many survive? We might even get a good Lord of the Flies situation which would raise the ratings.

Actually my daughter who is an industry insider says that all reality shows are scripted. They cut and paste dialog mercilessly so that they get drama and the outcome they want. I've never watched any Kardashians. Hate the whole concept of the Bachelor/Bachelorette... and the fact that you'd want to marry any man who is making out with different women every week.

HALLIE EPHRON: I'm sure I'm dating myself here, but whenever I see a long haired brunette who looks a little trashy I think Tiny Tim.

The only reality (ha ha) show I watch is Project Runway ("One day you're in, and the next day you're out.") Totally hooked. I'd be in the Tim Gunn fan club if I knew how to join. And I do occasionally want to "vote" someone "off the island" even though I've never seen whatever show that comes from.

JAN: I think I'm the only one on JR who is NOT a Project Runway fan, so I know nothing about the language there. How about everyone else? What reality show vocabulary has invaded your language? Or made itself into a handy adjective?