Reality Shows invading our language

JAN BROGAN - I had bought a winter jacket on line from one of those discount design houses and I was debating whether to keep it or not. My sister-in-law loved it, my daughter wasn't too sure. She had asked me to take a picture of myself in it and send it to her. Which I did. Her reply, also by text was along the lines of: "Go with your gut.: She added, "it looks like it could be a bit Kardashian-y."

I have never once watched the Kardashians on television, but I knew exactly what she meant. Expensive-looking for the sake of being expensive. A bit over the top. Maybe not appropriate to function. How did I know this? This is the mind boggling part. From the one or two times I've seen Kim Kardashian on the cover of a People Magazine at the allergists? From the one or two times I've flipped through TV stations and caught her image on Entertainment Weekly? It's not that I'm above reading about a celebrity in People, or watching a segment or two on Entertainment Weekly, total sucker for anything Jennifer Aniston, but because I never watch the Kardashian show, I don't ever read the Kardashian news or watch a segment on celebrity TV)keep flipping . So we are talking about very momentary images here.

So I'm wondering, has anyone else experienced new vocabulary, new thoughts or new awareness of reality shows without actually watching them? (THINK of your internal review of Steve Tyler singing the anthem at the Patriots/Ravens playoff game?)

ROSEMARY HARRIS: Sad but true. Every time I see a long-haired brunette who looks a little trashy I think - Kardashian! (including myself) As if it's a species. I've even got my husband saying it now. I've never seen the show either. I think for a while I said "Is that your final answer?" without ever having watched whatever show that came from. These things sneak into the lexicon (and our brains apparently) when we're not looking.

And it isn't that I'm too highbrow either...sitting around enjoying high tea and waiting for the next episode of Downton Abbey. I'm a sucker for Lucky and InStyle, two magazines devoted to hard-hitting journalism. Like the recent issue which compared the Kardashians' closets.(One of them has more Birkin bags than the other.)

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Oh, yes, it's like a disease, isn't it? I've never seen the Kardashians either, but would immediately have gotten the reference. And the tongue-in-cheek Kardashian clone on last week's Castle. My husband is always saying, "How did you know about that?" when he reads about the latest gossipy thing on Facebook. Obviously he doesn't do the grocery shopping! He has, however, started reading Entertainment Weekly magazine (which for some reason we get free,) so he is suddenly au courant. Too funny.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Ro, you're the CLASSY brunette, not the trashy one. Yes, I'm all too aware of the current reality shows, mostly because (Bad Mother alert) my 11 year old daughter reads ALL those gossip magazines. It's like she's the reincarnation of Hedda Hopper. When we're standing in line at the grocery and I'm staring blankly at pictures of people I don't know, she explains which one is a Teen Mom and which one is a Bachelorette. (Why isn't that show called The Spinster?) I'm aware you can watch people getting hatched, matched, and perhaps even dispatched on television today (if you count getting fried from THE APPRENTICE.) My personal opinion? It's the end of civilization as we know it.

Except for PAWN STARS! I love PAWN STARS.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Except for PROJECT RUNWAY, right? I truly love that. ANd you know, "Make it work." I was a huge fan of--oh,gosh, I'm telling you this--Survivor, when it first came out. I had a huge blow-up with an acquaintance over it--apparently my fascination with it indicated to him that I was incredibly shallow and not worth talking to. I am not exaggerating.

And even Jonathan says--"You really made it your own." And if you know where THAT comes from...

But it's a bit scary. The guy who's the Harvard Hasty Pudding choice? NO IDEA who he is. SO many people, I have NO IDEA. AND this is what I used to sneer at my mother about.

JAN - Oh Hank, does that mean you did NOT see The new Muppet Movie? Jason Segel (that's the actor getting the Hasty Pudding award) was awesome and I think he even wrote it - which makes him my new favorite hero because I'm a total sucker for the Muppets and even if I wasn't it was a totally uplifting movie, which unlike the reality shows, which as Julia points out,, are bringing down the culture, Jason and the Muppet movie are actually elevating it. But I suppose that's another blog.

RHYS BOWEN: Amen to Project Runway. I confess to having used "The tribe has spoken." I have enjoyed Survivor in the past, but now it's just silly little games. Why not TRUE SURVIVOR? Put people with no food on an island alone (with a few Komodo Dragons, poisonous snakes, sharks in the water) and see how many survive? We might even get a good Lord of the Flies situation which would raise the ratings.

Actually my daughter who is an industry insider says that all reality shows are scripted. They cut and paste dialog mercilessly so that they get drama and the outcome they want. I've never watched any Kardashians. Hate the whole concept of the Bachelor/Bachelorette... and the fact that you'd want to marry any man who is making out with different women every week.

HALLIE EPHRON: I'm sure I'm dating myself here, but whenever I see a long haired brunette who looks a little trashy I think Tiny Tim.

The only reality (ha ha) show I watch is Project Runway ("One day you're in, and the next day you're out.") Totally hooked. I'd be in the Tim Gunn fan club if I knew how to join. And I do occasionally want to "vote" someone "off the island" even though I've never seen whatever show that comes from.

JAN: I think I'm the only one on JR who is NOT a Project Runway fan, so I know nothing about the language there. How about everyone else? What reality show vocabulary has invaded your language? Or made itself into a handy adjective?

Everyone needs a bad guy!

JAN: I admit that I was lured in at first. Even though I wasn't a fan of Donald Trump, I gave the first couple of seasons of The Apprentice a shot and liked it. Not only did I gain respect for the Donald, I also learned some interesting marketing lessons.

It might have been my third season of The Apprentice when I realized that Omarosa, the villain, was being coached to say nasty things. And that the director had to be encouraging all the other contestants to hate her. And after that, I saw it in every reality show, from America's Top Model (viewed with my daughter against my will) to Joe Millionaire to Project Runway. It didn't matter what contestants were competing for, the whole point was to see them break bad. They became catty. And underhanded. And there was always someone, like Omarosa, who was the worst.

According to Psyblog, a blog that collects research about how our minds work, (www.spring.org.uk) reality shows make good use of narcissists in the cast. Apparently, we just can't help being drawn to a narcissist's self-absorbed and arrogant behavior. They tend to be confidant, fashionable and witty We are fascinated by their entitled behavior.

At first.

Quickly we come to despise them. Contestants and TV viewers alike. And we want to see them "knocked down," and get whats coming to them. It all makes for great TV.

So do you think bad behavior is the appeal of Reality Shows? And if so, why? Are these people just strangely charming, or do they somehow make us feel better about ourselves??

RHYS: An insider told me that they are scripted just like any TV drama. Lines are cut and used out of context to hint at fights that never happened. Look at The Bachelor or Bachelorette when the most likely candidate for his heart suddenly has to go away or lose her job. Yeah, right. The only difference between TV drama and reality shows is that the latter are playing with pe

ople's lives and psyches. I suppose if they pick narcissists and unpleasant people then they deserve what happens to them. Actually I'm a fan of The Amazing Race, which is often won by nice and genuine people, and, I have to confess, Project Runway which is a fascinating insight into the creative process.

I think we watch, hoping that the unpleasant people get what they deserve. What I find fascinati

ng is that The Truman Show foreshadowed exactly what is happening in real life.

RO: I really do need to see The Truman Show again..this is the third time it's come up in a week. I was on St. John last week and stayed at a resort which had kayaks for guests, but only if they stayed in the small bay right near the hotel. We'd just come back from 5 days of kayaking all over the BVI and thought it was ridiculous to have to stay in one small area as if it was the kiddie pool. We watched one guy take a kayak out and ..it was like the The Truman Show..it was as if there was an invisible screen making him return to shore. Too funny. But I digress.

About a million years ago there was something called The Louds: An American Family on public television. I barely remember it..will have to google, but it followed this middle class family and I think the daughter wanted to be a dancer..and it turned out that the son

was gay, and that was a big thing in the 70's, and then the couple split up. I have not felt the need to watch another reality show since then.

HANK: Oh, I rmember the Louds. Here's the thing about reality TV. It's NOT live. So some producer has taken hours and hours of video, and edited it into one hour. Do you know how easy it is to make that one hour into anything you wnat? And also--the producers know the end result. So they put the puzzle pieces of the show together to make the most interesting or conflict-ridden 45 minutes leading up to the end. The end that they KNOW will happen. See? So we're being completely manipulated along the way.

That said (anyone see that episode of ..was it Curb?) that's the reason I think its fun to watch s

ome of these shows. Rhys, yes, I love Amazing Race (it's almost--inspirational, and you can pretend it's educational) and I love Project Runway (so creative! and I love fashion, and I'm hyper-competitive anyway).

But what makes it the most fun is that the editors know how the shows turn out.

ROBERTA: Hank, that's such an interesting description of how the shows are made. Doesn't it sound something like what we do as we're writing novels? (I mean the most conflict we can imagine...)

I watch NO reality TV. I may be the only one in America. We were watching the Olympics last night and kept seeing the ad for Jerry Seinfeld's upcoming show, in which TV stars intervene in couples' fights. How bizarre is that?? At least Dr. Phil has a little bit of training in the field:)

HALLIE: Oh, I remember the Louds. That was before they figured out how to pare down to the conflict. And of course there were Andy Warhol movies like "Sleep" where his camera watches

some poet sleep for 6 hours.

Like Rhys, I watch is Project Runway and I am completely addicted to it. And my daughter got me hooked on So You Think You Can Dance.

JAN: Lannie and I watched So you "Think you Can Dance," which was "Vous croyez vous pouvez danser" in Aix en Provence last summer because it was the only thing we could follow in French. (They dubbed over the English but competition is the same in any language). My French skills weren't strong enough to pick up any inter-contestant sniping. But I also couldn't always figure out why one contestant was so much better than the other.