RHYS: Later this week I'll be interviewing Mary Jane Maffini, who writes about a professional organizer, so I'm painfully aware of the clutter in my own life. My office looks--well--lived in. Our house looks equally well lived-in. Our children have made threats along the lines of "don't you dare die and leave us with all this stuff."The problem is that we're both hoarders. I'm not as bad as John, who keeps every letter he wrote to the local water board and even the programs from a track meet during his prep school days. But I do keep a copy of everything I've ever written, boxes of my kids' art work from kindergarten on, my college thesis, German and French literature I'll never read again, plus boxes of photos that never found their way into albums, even old vinyl LPs.
I come from a family who never saved anything. My mother threw away anything that was no longer useful. I still lament my lovely doll house she gave away one Christmas (It was to a family who had just lost their father, so I couldn't say anything,but she didn't ask me first). My parents would change their furniture when the whim took them. They even changed houses more frequently than most sane people. So things meant nothing to them.
But they do to me. When I've been lying awake at night, I worry over what items to save first in a fire. I have a big project to put all of my favorite family photos onto DVDs and to store them somewhere safe. But I confess I do feel overwhelmed by a plethora of possessions. One of the reasons I like going to our condo in Arizona is that it's simple and contains no unnecessary stuff. Other folk our age are downsizing. I know we should be thinking of it too, but I can't see it happening in the near future. And my linen closet actually looked like this after my new cleaning lady got at it!
So which of our Jungle Reds are fellow hoarders? Who are our neat freaks?
I'm hoping Mary Jane will give me some tips on how to throw stuff away.
JULIA: I'm not neat - far from it! - but I'm ruthless about tossing unused items. I suspect it's the legacy of growing up as an army brat, always moving. If it hadn't been played with/worn/looked at in the past year, out it went. Ross, on the other hand--don't get me started. If not for me, he'd be living like those eccentrics you read about, barricaded in with towers of newspapers.
DEB: One of the problems is that everyone's idea of too much stuff is relative. I think Rick has too much stuff--he wonders why on earth anyone needs four sets of china and all those BOOKS . . . But I find that too much clutter (at least by my standards) drives me crazy, and as I work at home, I find it distracting. I'm having a stay-at-home year, and one of my goals is to purge some of the junk and organize those closets!!!!!! It just makes me feel better and function better if I can find things, and if I can keep things clean and neat.
I'm very interested in hearing how a professional organizer deals with the emotional issues involved in helping people downsize.
JAN: I'm a binge and purge girl. I have a hard time throwing stuff away, and it collects, but then I go on a tear and will throw it all away whether it needs to go or not. But Deb, you are so right, It's much easier to throw my husband's useless junk away then my own junk which never seems quite as useless.
HANK: Oh, heavens, yes. Deb, can you please come over? I have...clothes. Yeesh. I've given away lots, but I could use someone tough. And my press clippings, of course, must have. And books. Got to go. GOT TO! We called in a person to go into our basement..he had a big big dumpster and everything just went into that. It was terrific. Nothing better than getting rid of stuff--it's so empowering.
When Jonathan and I merged households, I got rid of LOTS of his clothes. That was easy. I called it his "southwestern collection." You don't wanna know.
I have a rule that I can't buy any new clothes unless I get rid of three things I have. That kind of works.
ROBERTA: His southwestern collection--that totally cracks me up Hank!
JULIA: Pictures! Pictures!
ROBERTA: John had a dreadful polyester warm-up suit that he wore to play tennis a couple of times a week. I overlooked it while we dated, but then it got the heave-ho. Of course then he tried to throw out my aqua sweatpants--not so fast Mister!
RHYS: And my John still has bush jackets that he wore in Indonesia. He used to show up at the kids' swim meets and embarrass the heck out of them!
HALLIE: My husband has clothes he wore in junior high. Really. I have a particularly effective hissy fit where I declare that I will not will not will not end up married to the male equivalent of a bag lady. Sometimes I cry. If I get het up enough it usually works and a few things go out. Or moved around so I'll think they went.
I am so not a hoarder. One set of china... er, stoneware. All I collect are feathers found on hikes and Chinese fortunes.
RHYS: I'm afraid I collect things too: rocks, shells, antique paperweights, dolls from around the world, and John inherited his parents lovely antique things--Chinese plates, English swords..you name it,we've got it. And they are lovely but I've no idea what will happen to them when we die.
ROSEMARY: Husband's stuff is much more annoying than mine. And this from a woman who probably owns 100 tablecloths, 40 vases, 5 sets of china, gardening magazines from 10 years ago and more cookie cutters and tartlet pans than Martha Stewart. And bowls of shells and coral. But I'm not a hoarder. I love them all.
And I do try to donate or throw away something every time I bring something new into the house.
Jonathan as a cowboy? I don't see it. But then Bruce had a jacket he referred to as his Italian jacket - I thought it made him look like a sportcaster from the 70s. I was so happy when we said ciao to that one.
JULIA: Ross had a disco outfit when we met in the early eighties. He had also saved all his wide-collared shirts. Sadly, they somehow got lost when we moved him from Washington, DC to Maine. These things do happen.
ROSEMARY: Let me ask a question ...uh...how many sets of sheets do people have?
HANK: Ro, I love you, I really do. And I ain't answering that one. Although I,too, would be interested to hear from others.
JULIA: Two per bed. Our house is almost 200 years old, and closet space is very limited. We can store a ton up in the attic our out in the barn, but that doesn't help when it comes to bedding, does it?
RHYS: No, not into sheets. Just enough to change every bed. How about shoes, Hank dearest? Or black suits? How many black suits does one person need?
And now let's hear from you? What is essential in your life that would be called hoarding to others? Come on fess up now!
