DO YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Happy Saturday, everyone!

Here’s the question of the day. Why does every transaction have to have some sort of survey after it? Why does everything we do or buy suddenly require some sort of a review?

After you talk to a real person on the phone, (imagine that happening :-)) they say "would you have time to take a survey after we finish?" "Would you have time to stay on the phone and answer a few quick questions?" "Would you have time to help us with our customer support by taking a brief survey?"

I’ll tell you how I feel about taking a brief survey! Grr.

I would be much happier with the customer service if the customer service person didn’t ask me to tell about my customer service! I barely have time to tell the person about whatever it was, let alone answer take the time to some questions about how I liked telling the person about whatever it was.

Usually I’m annoyed enough having to call whoever it is to talk about whatever it was in the first place, and I certainly am not in the mood to tell you what a good job you did taking care of the thing that didn’t work in the first place.
On the other hand.

It’s not the customer service person's fault that their bosses require them to have people answer a survey.

And I will confess to you that I have asked people in the past whether those surveys make any difference--and I am told they absolutely do.

So now I am guilted into answering every single one of them, because I feel personally responsible for the employment of the people whose performance I am reviewing. I always answer them all. To make sure the people keep their jobs.

The post office, too, asks me to take a survey at the end of each transaction. First by tapping a little green smiley face on the credit card reader, and then by scanning my receipt on my phone and going to the survey via the QR code and then filling out stuff.

Now, I love my post office people! They are fabulous! And I asked them, specifically, whether filling out those forms and tapping the little green face makes a difference, and they unanimously said they did! They said post offices get closed if people don’t respond to those surveys.

So here’s where, you know me, I got worried and involved. I pointed out to them that there was no signage in the post office indicating how important those surveys were, and that it was too easy to skip them, and that they should make it clear to other customers how much difference it makes.

And, so hilarious, the next time I went into the post office there were signs up all over the place reminding people to do the survey. (I am laughing even as I type this because what a busybody I am. But hey, if it makes a difference why not?)

And then, the companies get you, too, on the phone surveys, because they’ll change the rules mid-survey. Right?

Like questions one through five will be "on a scale of one to 10 with the 1 being the highest, how satisfied are you with whatever it is." So I start tapping one, one, one, to get out of it, and then suddenly they change the question: "Now, on a scale of one to five, with five being the highest, how do you feel about whatever it is?"

So I have to completely turn my brain around. And I feel even guiltier, because what if I make a mistake and ruin someone's life? It's a TEST!

Oh my gosh, Reds and readers, do you answer those surveys? What do you think about them?

WHATCHA WATCHING?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: TV, anyone? We just watched DOWN CEMETERY ROAD, every single bit of it, and at one point I said to Jonathan, wow I love this, but, what again? Is the point? I completely don’t understand it. Eventually it was all made clear, ish, kind of, and some loose ends were not tied up, but it was really fun to watch. Rhys, it’s Emma Thompson’s hair you need to see. Go for it.

PLURIBUS, yes yes yes, fabulous. Thought-provoking, fantastic. Would you trade away your individuality if you could be happy and know everything? Ah, I don’t want to describe too much, but it is about (to me, at least) the dangers of AI. 

SLOW HORSES continues to be wonderfully entertaining. (Mick Herron wrote Cemetery Road, too.) And we just started watching HIJACK, with Idris Elba.

I know I am leaving something out. How about you, Reds and readers?

HALLIE EPHRON: I’m in RE-watch mode with SHERLOCK. Remembering how fabulous Benedict Cumberbatch was and how smart the writing was. But honestly there’s nary a single clue or red herring that I remember from having seen these before. The solutions are SO complicated, and sometimes I”m not even sure exactly what the crime is. Doesn’t matter… I do love Sherlock and Mary and Watson and Mrs. Hudson.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: We’ve just finished the final episode of STRANGER THINGS. We found this last season a little confusing, especially since it had been so long since the previous one, but we loved the way they wrapped everything up. It was such fun to see all the lovely kids grow up over the course of the series.

Also, we watched the ERAS tour documentary, which was fascinating. The technical side of the productions was just astounding, and the effort and dedication the tour took, not just from Taylor but from all the dancers and singers and musicians and crew, was incredibly moving. I only wish I’d had the experience of seeing it in person.

JENN McKINLAY: We are currently watching THE LOWDOWN, starring Ethan Hawke, and it is excellent - we are only two episodes in, however. Before that, we watched THE CHAIR COMPANY…um…wildly entertaining and yet soooo bizarre. We loved, loved, loved, NOBODY WANTS THIS. We also caught the movie MARTY SUPREME and it was utterly bonkers and very entertaining.

RHYS BOWEN: We haven’t been watching much because we had family around and then John was in hospital. When I’m in de-stress mode I watch the tennis channel and right now there are some good tournaments going on in Australia. It is also nostalgia for me because it reminds me of times in Australia, watching those tournaments with my mum.

But we did start one of the new Agatha Christies the other night. The Pale Horse, which was one of her really good stories. But Agatha writes in a way that is calm and genteel. No gore. No sensationalism. This rendition was horrific and we turned it off after about twenty minutes. And retreated back to old favorites. Recently discovered a Maigret with Rowan Atkinson. They are really good and it’s fun to see him playing a deep and serious character.


LUCY BURDETTE: As you know, I am the world’s fussiest television watcher. By the way, Jenn, we went to see Marty Supreme. I hated it! About 2/3 of the way through, I mentioned to John that this was hard to take. He said he didn’t like it either and let’s leave. And so we did. But then we saw Song Sung Blue, which was sad but so excellent! Now I am looking forward to watching another new one about a stand-up comic who is getting divorced. It’s called Is This Thing On?

On the television front, nix on Cemetery Road. And I haven’t gotten hooked by Slow Horses, though I know I’m in the minority. We did watch the first episode of the new season of Shetland and absolutely loved it. We also watched episode one of the new season of THE PITT. John loves it, I will give it another try. Fussy.


JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I’m also in a TV funk. I don’t feel like anything dark, but most comedies aren’t my cup of tea. I watched WAKE UP DEAD MAN when Youngest was home and we both adored it. I’d love for more series or movies in the traditional Agatha Christie vein, but it’s getting hard to find one I haven’t already seen! Happily, a new adaptation of The Seven Dials Mystery was released on Netflix yesterday, so that’s going to be my weekend watch. Now, if PBS will just let us know when MARBLE HALL MURDERS (third in the wonderful Moonflower Murders series) is being released, I’ll call myself good for the month.

HANK: Oh, yes Seven Dials, looking forward! But somehow...I think all those look to campy for me. But hope persists! And anything by Anthony Horowitz, I'm totally in. And oh, the Lincoln Lawyer is coming up.  Yay.

How about you all, Reds and Readers? Whatcha watching?

Comma comma down doo-bee-doo down down....

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I had so much fun with Jenn’s meet-cute post, and it got me thinking about what was the opposite of meet-cute? Leave-cute? Of course, bad breakups. (I hope you recognize the song "lyrics" in today's title...)

We don’t want to go anywhere upsetting today, of course, but breakups can be pretty funny. Yes, they can.

Once I broke up with a perfectly nice guy because we went to see the Robert Altman movie Nashville, and I adored it, adored it! And he loathed it. How could that be, I wondered? And I finally said “you know, if you don’t love that movie, I can’t see a future for us”. And that was the end of that.

And on the other end, once a guy broke up with me, saying: “Hank, you may absolutely be the perfect woman, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you are just not a good enough tennis player, and I can’t live my life with that.” And that was the end of that.

How about you, Reds and readers? Any ridiculous breakups?

HALLIE EPHRON: My nastiest breakup came after my boyfriend dropped me at the airport for a trip to Ghana (I had a summer job) and then (I found out later) he ran off to reconnect with his ex-girlfriend. To add insult to injury, it turned out the plane I was ticketed on was over-sold and I had to find a way back to my parents’ apartment in New York, tail between my legs, and never did get to Ghana. A week later I reconnected with the boy I’d dumped … who turned out to be the keeper of a lifetime, my Jerry.

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I think the worst would be the boyfriend who dumped me for my best friend (I was sixteen, he was eighteen.) I was also friends with his younger sister, and when I would come over to see the sister, ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend would be naked in bed, holding court like John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Ouch. However, I am now friends with him on Facebook, and sort of named a character after him in A KILLING OF INNOCENTS, so I suppose time heals all wounds.

JENN McKINLAY: This reminds me of Seinfeld and all the ridiculous reasons they would have to break up with people – a close talker, a face painter, they had something off-putting like wart remover in their medicine cabinet, etc. I dumped a guy because he was a horrible tipper – inexcusable. And I was dumped because I am freakishly tall. Dude might have thought about that before he asked me out. Sheesh.

RHYS BOWEN: I was once the dumper to a very nice boy and still feel bad about it. I had a boyfriend in Germany whom I was very keen on. But I was back in England at college so I met this boy called Alex and went out with him. He started to get too keen on me so a friend told me to write him a letter to break it off saying it wasn’t fair to my regular boy friend. I did this and regretted it instantly. It really hurt Alex. I hadn’t realized until then how much he liked me. Until then I hadn’t realized that guys have feelings too!

LUCY BURDETTE: I have one for each side. I think it was in eighth grade and my sister was having a boy-girl party as she was a year older. My mother must have suggested that my friend Laura and I could also each invite one boy. Oh, the drama! Hers declined, but mine accepted, and then I went into full panic mode. He came, but I don’t think I even spoke to him because he was wearing tall white socks. Did you hear me sisters? Tall, white socks! I’m so sorry Jay I was that shallow😁

Worst dumping line, when a guy I’d been seeing for a while and liked very much, said to me: I think we could have a nice enough life. And that was the end of that!

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Lucy, talk about damning with faint praise! My silliest breakup was with the archaeology professor I started dating in my senior year. He was twenty years older than I, and though he had a lot of nice qualities (and I thought he was hot) I came to realize I was both too mature for him - yes, I’m being serious! - and also that I was too young to spend all my couple-time socializing with academics in their early forties.

I was living in DC, and he was in upstate NY, and the breaking point came after I saw a matinee of FOOTLOOSE. Walking out of the theater, I thought, “I’m wasting my youth on this guy! I want to have fun and go dancing!” So I sent him a dear John letter. And then the skunk confessed he’d cheated on me when he was at his dig the past summer!!! I was so glad I’d kicked him foot-loose.

About ten months later, I went to a GW graduate student mixer and met this curly-haired redhead named Ross. And yes, we did go dancing and had lots of fun!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Jen, you are not freakishly tall. And SO agree about the tipping thing--that is just the "tip" of the psychological iceberg.  Julia, I love that movies were the catalyst for both of us! Lucy, “a nice enough life”?? Whoa. How about you, Reds and Readers? Any funny stories about breakups?