Sunday, June 22, 2014

Life's Little Mysteries

RHYS:  Hank reminded me the other day that Mercury is in Retrograde. One should expect little annoying things to go wrong.


Since we’ve just had a lovely period of smooth sailing on a cruise and then in France and now at my sister-in-law's wonderful manor house in Cornwall, I feel totally relaxed and at peace with the wrld. So it felt like the right sort of time to ponder on some of life’s baffling little mysterious annoyances.


For example:


1. When I try to diet, why does the weight disappear instantly from my boobs and not budge from my belly?


2.When I try to do a pedicure myself why does it look as if my foot has been run over by a large truck, rather than the delicate red painted nails of the professional pedi?



3. Why does toast always fall jelly side down?


4. Why does the line I choose at the bank always contain one person who wants to send money to Peru (in pesus) or who wants to find out whether he actually closed an account twenty years ago and whether there really are fifty dollars still in it.


5 Why does my computer work fine until I am told to install updates, then it starts giving me all kinds of problems?


6. And speaking of computers—why is it when you're in a hurry, that's when screen says instaling upgrade 1 of 18,698?


7. Why is it that the moment they hand me a coffee on an airplane we hit turbulence?


8: Why is it if I wear white I always spill something on it?


9: Why is it that I only go out once a month and if I schedule a theater I get two other invites for the same evening?


10 And lastly an author’s puzzlement… why is it, if I come up with a brilliant idea, several other writers come out with books on the same subject before I can write it?


So Reds and Readers: do share your personal annoyances, and in case you think I’m a whiner, I’m really not. I am quite aware of my blessings and good fortune. This whole list was sparked by dieting, then looking in the mirror!


  1. Oh, but ours is not to reason why.

  2. Why does Yahoo keep serving me ads about fried eggs and plastic surgery?

  3. Rhys, this is why I never drink red wine on an airplane (an easy one since I almost never drink red wine...)

  4. #1 Why did the buttered side of the toast always land butter side down on the floor?

    #2 Where did the other sock go?

  5. Rhys, your #1 is a top gripe for me, too. Another is when I think I've clicked something on FB to read and apparently the page moved so I get something else. Then there is staying up until 3 a.m. reading and the dog wanting to go out at 6 that morning(this morning). No biggies, just irritating.

  6. There are always three eggs left, never four or two. But how does that happen, if I always only use four or two?

    WHy do the wire hangers always get SO tangled? I am tossing them all.. And why do the cords or every appliance get tangled, when they just SIT there?

    But basically I think things are wonderful...even in Retrograde. xo

  7. Why, when you've gotten the pillow just right, just got all of your limbs comfortable, and are sinking towards bliss--sleep--does the phone go off? "Can you come get me, I feel sick."

  8. I had no idea I had a twin!