Monday, July 29, 2019

What we're writing week! Hallie's churning out press releases...

HALLIE EPHRON: It's' WHAT WE'RE WRITING WEEK, and boy howdy do I wish I could tell you I'm working on a new book. But instead I'm churning out press releases and guest blogs and generally flailing about in an effort to promote CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR which I finished almost a year ago and which comes out next week. 

It's very gratifying when a press release actually gets picked up in a local paper. Yes, there are still local papers. Lucy submitted this to her local Shoreline paper, humping my event at RJ Julia with Lucy on August 8, and voila...


Then there are the 37 other press releases I sent out to local media, talking up my event at Brookline Booksmith on August 7 in conversation with professional organizer, Kathy Vines (Clever Girl Organizing). So far, bupkes.

And I apologize if you're on my newsletter list. Though I promised you not more than a few newsletters a YEAR, last month alone I sent two.  (If you're NOT on my newsletter list, by all means go to my web sign and for heavens sake, sign up!)

I know, all of this smacks of desperation. But such is the world I live in.

As everyone knows by now, the main character (Emily) in CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR is a professional organizer who's married to a packrat. This is something with which I have firsthand experience since I'm happily married to a man who’s happily wedded to his stuff and spends his Saturday mornings yard sale-ing.

Here are my very own tips for decluttering your spouse:
Pick your battles: If his bureau drawers and closet doors shut, what’s inside them is not your problem. Your challenge is to stop thinking about it.
- Catch him unawares: At a quiet time, say, “Honey.” Pause and wait. “I need to ask you something.” Pause. “You know that pile on the basement stairs…”
Bring in reinforcements: Got any grown children up your sleeve? Enlist them to help execute whatever plan to which you get Honey to agree. Your help will probably not be welcomed.
Bribe, barter: The promise of homemade lobster bisque or a back massage can be a powerful incentive.
Sublimate: It will be much easier to write a book about his clutter than to get him to change.
- And finally, if he speaks to your heart, keep him.

My good news is the book got a full page review in TIME. Yup, that TIME. The review was written by (drumroll) Jamie Lee Curtis. Click here to read it! 




I am over the moon. I am such a fan of JLC. Adored her in A Fish Called Wanda. I was in wildly applauding when (in 2002) she posed in her skivvies in an unretouched photograph for MORE Magazine looking normal--aka not perfect! That went viral before there was such a thing as going viral. Then she made waves when she let her hair go gray. And she became a WRITER! 

She is, in short, a girl after my own heart. And she loved my book. SHE LOVED MY BOOK! I am over the moon.

More good news: A STARRED review in PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY. The reviewer called it. “Outstanding… may be the first domestic thriller to weave in Marie Kondo’s decluttering theory about discarding things that don’t spark joy.”

Please forgive me my frenzy of shameless self-promotion. It will pass.

In the meantime, please check out my brand new web site (another reason I've not written anything) to see where I'll be speaking (Brookline Booksmith August 7, RJ Julia in Madison CT (with Lucy!) August 8.  And if you can stand to hear more about me me me and my book book book, go to my web site and sign up for my newsletter.

If you want to read the first two chapters gratis, go here. And here.

Okay. Now I'll shut up.
Or not...

Are you a neatnik? Organized in the extreme? A saver? A collector? A packrat? Do you live with someone who has, let us say, different priorities when it comes to keeping stuff. Any tips for negotiating those differences?  

GIVING AWAY MY LAST advance reader's copy to one lucky commenter.

65 comments:

  1. Congrats! Yes, I'm not only married to a packrat, but the son of two packrats. It's challenging.

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    1. I hear you... Hope you've been able to carve out a small "their-clutter-free" zone in your living space.

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  2. Congratulations, Hallie . . . I’m looking forward to reading it.

    We’re passably neat here, not particularly organized, definitely collectors. We’re pretty much like minds, though, so it’s all good . . . .

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  3. Yay Hallie, can't wait for the launch next week! Reds, you'll really enjoy this one...

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  4. CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR is a great read, so different from much of the summer fare this year, with a great ending twist. I love surprises. I treasure my copy. Thank you.

    I'm not a neatnik, nor an extreme organizer or saver, certainly not a collector nor a packrat. I don't need to be either of the latter two because I live with one.

    But tell me this. Why leave a dish or a glass or a fork in the sink EVERY SINGLE NIGHT when the dishwasher is right there?

    Rant over. Thanks in advance.

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    1. Ha ha ha ha! My husband does this... and that's AFTER he's loaded the dinner dishes into the dishwasher, there's always a couple of stragglers. I'm sure, to annoy me.

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    2. Ann, I can't bear to talk about dishes. It's one of the most constant sources of daily frustration, the incessant piling of dirty dishes and utensils.

      No wonder so many people eat out all the time.

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    3. You hit a chord. My husbands "washes" and puts dishes on a paper towel on the side of the sink. If he mysteriously succumbs someday I didn't do it.

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  5. So looking forward to finally reading CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! And that is true even before reading Jamie Lee Curtis. I would have to say I am not terribly organized, except for tax-related papers and that sort of thing. Would I be more organized if I had more space for all of my stuff? Nah! I doubt it.

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    1. Stuff expands to fill space. It's a scientific fact.

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  6. Hallie, congratulations on the book release and the fantastic review by JLC. (I just adore her!)

    My husband and I each accuse each other of being the pack rat. LOL. We're slowly getting rid of stuff but it's hard because, as you say, stiff expands to fill space. Ug!

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  7. I hate to see author's apologizing for the self-promotion. That is the world we live in and if you don't do it, who will?

    There is such a small window to make an impact these days.

    And Hallie, your book is more than worth talking about. I hope that readers will find this book and then tell others. CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR is a word-of-mouth style book!

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    1. Thanks Kristopher! What’s so mystifying is figuring out what actually makes a difference.... beyond writing a good book

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    2. If only there were a simple formula for that. I have no easy answers.

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  8. Oh Hallie, the review by JLC is amazing! Like you, I am a huge fan of hers -- having her endorsement would make my head spin.

    I admit to having some pack rat tendencies. Not to go all psychobabble, but when I was a small child my parents sold their home and started a nomadic life that continued until my dad died when I was 13. They got rid of everything beyond what was needed to live in a rented, furnished apartment. So I didn't grow up with mementos or heirlooms or any of the "stuff" that one associates with roots.

    I think that left me with some need to hold onto things. But I'm not a hoarder or crazy over the top about it. However, now my husband and I have been in the same house for 24 years, so that adds a layer of accumulation, too. (No, seriously, I notice this with all my friends who have lived in the same house for a long time.) At any rate, we have begun trying to go through things and thin them somewhat.

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    1. I hear you! We’ve been in this house even longer and my husband swears he’s never moving ... sigh

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  9. Jamie Effing Lee Curtis and ITME? Wow, Hallie! That's fabulous. Seriously. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll have enough energy after driving home from Vermont to make it to your launch party. Because I don't want to wait a second longer than I have to to read this book.

    Of course you shouldn't apologize for getting the word out about your book. Sheesh. It's part of the work.

    As for myself, yes, I'm a pack rat, but I'm also doing very well at not acquiring anything new, and once in a while I'll go on a tossing spree, so it's under control (kind of...).

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    1. Tossing sprees are good for the soul... or so I try to convince my husband

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  10. What amazing reviews, Hallie! I'm so excited for this book.

    I'm a selective packrat. There are places in my house - like my desk and, suprisingly, the kitchen - where everything must be in it's place. But my closet? Underneath the bed? Not so much.

    The Hubby is the same. He hates paper strewn on the dining room table, but his workroom, well, let's just say I don't know how he finds anything. :)

    Good luck with the promo!

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  11. Yes... we have clutter free zones, too - you know you’ve crossed a boundary when clutter creeps into view

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  12. This is SO awesome--and seriously, that review is a game changer. Has she contacted you about making the MOVIE???

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    1. Ha ha! I like to say jerry has a piling system as opposed to a filing system

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    2. Oops I meant that reply to go with the comment below...

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  13. The mail, the actual mail. My darling Jonathan will look at it, and make a pile of what is important, and another pile of whats's not. And then..he just leaves the piles.

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  14. Hallie, I can’t wait to read the book! When TIME arrived the other day and I saw the article by Jamie Lee Curtis I thought to myself “she’d better like Hallie’s book”. Then I read the article and got so excited for you!

    I’m a packrat; I don’t know why, but I am. I constantly have intentions to get rid of things but it’s a daunting project. There are things I have no choice but to save (paperwork), MANY things that “spark joy” (it doesn’t take much to make me happy:-) and there’s always the thought in the back of my mind that “I might be able to use this again someday”—which often proves to be true, and then I’m glad I didn’t get rid of it! When I first bought this place thirty years ago everything was so neat and well-organized. I’m sitting here in the living room, looking around, and asking myself “how did it happen?” I’m terrified to go into my basement storage room because I think “stuff” down there has been procreating! I KNOW I got rid of a lot of things at one point! Did these things make their way back? Or is something else going on?

    DebRo

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    1. I think that's one of the nicest things one can say about oneself: "it doesn't take much to make me happy" - Brava!

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  15. I’m not sure what I am in the pack rat world. I’m not tidy but I don’t have tons of stuff. My parents though. Mom was a bit of a pack rat. When I went through all her stuff when she died, I found a lot of odd, saved items (she had stacks of those little condiment plastic cups and lids). Dad had very little. We joked he could live like a monk. I think both of those were reactions from growing up during the depression. Congratulations on your book!

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    1. Ooooh, I'm afraid I have many more plastic cups and lids than I could ever use in a lifetime.

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  16. Hallie, can't wait to read this book! For so many reasons.

    After going through the process of moving from where we'd lived for 34 years, plus emptying out the office/studio where Steve's family business held forth for 59 years, I'm forced to admit we are BOTH packrats. Where I hoard books, linens, knickknacks, fabric and other sewing paraphernalia, Steve cannot bear to part with paper (including the envelopes that paper arrives in), and wood of all kinds.

    He was out of town for three weeks a couple of years ago and I called 1-800-GOT-JUNK to come and haul all the old wood boards, etc. from the garage and shed. At the new house, we still have the old two-car garage: filled with old wood. And yesterday we cleaned the new garage, where, you guessed it, Steve had to stack scrap lumber from the house construction. Argh.

    But I am organized, and I wrest organization from our stuff with as much muster as I can. And I plan to be ruthless going forward about getting rid of those things we do not need NOW. We have a lot less "someday" left than we used to, after all.

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    1. Sounds like excellent progress! My husband is a paper saver, too... but he just retired and darned if I didn't find him throwing away tons of files. There's hope.

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  17. Congratulations Hallie, you're sticking to the pre-publicity stuff and while its taking a while to get attention you already have great reviews. Of course I can't wait to read the book as this was my field. I particularly like your approach to your spouse, very gently. So on to your question. This does seem to be a fav JRW and everyone has tales of woe. I had, to a very small extent, still have my PO biz. No, I'm not a national name or a close friend of Marie, I retired, sort of, before she hit the scene, but I was President of the NY area NAPO back in the '90's. So here's a tale of two clients. I worked with a retired doctor and later with her son, she told me this tale. The mess in son's room, lets call him Bill, got so bad when he was a small boy, that she blitzed through it and everything went into the garbage. Fast forward he came home from school, was very upset and later she found him outside carefully going through the bins to retrieve his treasures. Forty years on with a very successful career, he was still one of the biggest collectors I have had the honor to know. Yes we did get stuff done for him but I think it was finally solved by moving. Leaving the old house still full of his stuff and moving across country. It can be very hard to live with a pack rat, collector etc. Sometimes one just has to get a pro involved.

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    1. I love this story! You were President of the NY area NAPO back in the '90's?!? It's good to remember that Marie Kondo did not invent the profession.

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  18. Hallie, somewhere in the back of your mind, a story is brewing, I'm sure of it! And as others have said, please don't apologize for promoting your work!

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  19. Oh, Hallie, I feel your pain - but you are making it sound like a lot of fun so we're all happy to go on the marketing ride with you.

    I am a neatnik. Husband has things he made in Cub Scouts. THAT should tell you everything you need to know. So far, the drawers close, but he is occupying shelf space in all of the closets, even mine.

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    1. Things he MADE in Cub Scouts?!? You're right: so telling.
      This reminds me that I once wrote a character who was a hoarder who'd saved the SITUPON she made in Girl Scouts.

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  20. I loved the chapters you have shared so far and cannot wait to read Careful What You Wish For. I guess I fall somewhere in-between, don't consider myself a collector because that implies some reason to it, but I want to keep what I want to keep. My husband is like that but where I have lists and spreadsheets but the actual items are here and there, his treasures are well arranged, tools on pegboard, etc. I like the idea of order but am not very orderly. And it's too early to think about Marie Kondo because I don't want to grind my teeth all day ;-). Loved the review by Jamie Lee Curtis!

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    1. So, now I'm thinking about: "I like the idea of order but am not very orderly." Interesting distinction. I'm a fan of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

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  21. I like your tips to decluttering your spouse although I don't have this problem anymore.
    I'm not a neatnik but I don't need a lot of things to be happy, just books. Very much looking forward to yours and always happy to hear about it.

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    1. Yes, books fill our house, too. My office is so small I have to keep getting rid of them or I'd have nowhere to work.

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  22. I live alone so all this beautiful, rare, precious, stacked and piled stuff is mine and my responsibility, she says while rolling here eyes and thinking of the storage unit across town filled with bear figurines, yarn, dishes that I actually had to think about because I didn't remember buying. I think I have a problem. My sister had the nerve to to inform that I have too many crochet hooks and asked why did I have knitting needles since I don't knit. I'm not neat and actually hate cleaning out the dishwasher so the sink will have dishes. I can be organized depending on the situation, sometimes. I guess I'm organized enough to get the job done. I over think traveling by car. Okay, off to work.

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    1. OMG, Deana, careful or someone will stage an intervention... or put your storage unit in a book. :-)

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  23. Hallie, so excited for your new book and the great buzz it's getting. As one who is married to another pack rat I appreciate your suggestions!

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  24. I was supremely organized when I worked in an office. I am normally disorganized at home. A friend and I decided we suffered from adult ADD. I'm somewhere in between packrat and no clutter. Leaning closer and closer to no clutter as I age. My mom moved a lot during the Depression so she did not hang on to a lot of things. She routinely threw out my stuff I saved from school. My husband is now exhibiting signs of decluttering. He's starting with the garage and then will move room by room. I can't wait. He's says he will not throw out anything I want to keep. Oddly enough he was eying the jewelry box made from popsicle sticks our son made eons ago. Will it survive? Stay tuned.

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    1. Uh oh, my husuband better keep his grubby hands OFF my popsicle-stick jewelry box. I have kept my kids' drawings. And the badge (name tag) for every writing/book conference I've been to. And my mother's reading glasses.

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  25. And I can't wait to read your book, Hallie!

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  26. My Mom and Dad were really organized and my Sister and I aren't organized at all. We always wonder why we're lacking the organization gene.

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    1. Well, you know, a lot of people are finding the answer to questions like that when they have their DNA analyzed... Just sayin'...

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  27. Hallie, I love this book and am so excited for your launch. And a review by Jamie Lee Curtis--wow!!! That is just fabulous!! (I suspect she is right about the de-cluttering fad being linked to our sense of helplessness in the digital world...)

    As for me, I'm in the midst of a mad, obsessive, in-between-books tidying binge. My two big downfalls are books and paperwork, and everything tends to pile up when I'm writing. But other than books and dishes, I'm not a big "keeper." My hubby, on the other hand, still has his t-shirts from high school. And every part of anything that might someday possibly eventually be used for something. Fortunately, most of that stuff is in the garage, and I consider that a totally hands-off zone.

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  28. Promo is the ugly underbelly of the writing life. I’ve never thought to send out press releases, so thanks for that! As for JLC loving your book - of course she did!!! I’m just thrilled for you, Hallie! So we’ll deserved!!!

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  29. Hallie, I love the new web site! All the information a reader wants to know and easily accessible. Well done. And, of course, I loved Careful What You Wish For. I should have my review finished by tomorrow. I got interrupted after I started the review and now must get back to it so I can start cheering you on.

    I think I live in organized chaos sometimes. I do have places for things, but I need to weed, weed, weed. I've started on my books, but that is slow going. I'd much rather be catching up on my reading than trying to decide what books stay and what books go. And, the closets. I cleaned them out three years ago when I had some remodeling and painting and new floors done, but I swear that what was left has grown through no fault of my own. Well, okay, maybe a little fault of my own. My husband isn't an awful messer, but he doesn't help matters. I need my daughter to come through and strip my house of the unnecessary items, although she's quite ruthless in her minimalizing, so I'm not sure I really want that.

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  30. I've living in my house since I was one year old so there is a lot of stuff. Since I'm alone now, I have things where they are convenient for me, like library bag and things to go out on one end of the dining room table and things to go upstairs on the other. I only eat in the kitchen or living room. What I see, I'm happy with but I do need to put things aside for the church year sale and for 1-800-GOT-JUNK. The junk is mostly in the attic and cellar. It's way too hot to go in the attic now.

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  31. I am organized but I also have a difficult time getting rid of anything! I think it's the teacher in me!! lindaherold999(at)gmail.com

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  32. I am far from being organized and my husband has learned to live with it. I am a crafter and also a reader so I have an assortment of books as well as craft material. It would be wonderful to call Hallie's book my own. robeader53(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  33. I did not used to be a neatnik but I am drifting that way now that I am retired.The only thing I have a lot of now is books so that does not count.MY husband puts the pack in packrat for sure. My kids are a 50-50 mix again it does not count if its books.

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  34. Hallie! Congratulations! Your sister and I are bookstagram friends. She mentioned your book and I mentioned that I met you at Bouchercon in Toronto :-) . For me, it takes a lot of work being organized! I think if I establish an habit of being organized, then it becomes easier, right?

    Diana

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