Saturday, July 27, 2019

Flexibility by Jenn McKinlay

JENN McKINLAY: It’s been quite a week. Instead of living large in NYC at a writer’s conference as planned, meeting with author friends and my publisher while celebrating my giant step into women’s fiction, I’ve been hunkered down at my brother and sister-in-law’s house in MA while recovering from Shingles. Yes, Shingles, in all of its swollen nerve ending, blistered agony. It was also completely unexpected at my age -- at least to me.

Nervous system - where the varicella zoster virus sits after a person
has chicken pox until it decides to come back as Shingles!

     This was one of those moments where life punched me so hard in the chest, I had to rock back on my heels and figure out what the universe was trying to tell me. As I said to a friend of mine, after days of trying to figure out how to make what I wanted to happen happen when it was clearly an absolute impossibility, “I think the lesson here is that I need to be more flexible.” Why the lesson had to be so painful, I don’t know. I suspect so it would stick.

     PSA: Shingles suck! Like, for real. There is a vaccination now available to people over fifty. Shingrix. I urge you to get it or get on the waiting list for it!

     Here's the thing, I like to think that I’m flexible. Being a writer, you have to be as you flit from creating to editing to promoting, sometimes all in the same hour. But upon closer scrutiny -- brought on by my cheek, hip, and ear full of blisters no doubt -- I realized, I’m not really flexible at all. In fact, I’m a bit of a toddler as in, I want what I want when I want it. I’m also the sort of person who when committed to a plan has a very difficult time changing the plan, or the plot, or dare I say, the title.

     Yes, this leads us back to the world of writing. In the course of five months, I thought of a book in a new genre, wrote the book, sold the book, and then rewrote the book from third person to first person but was then informed that the title was a no go. Huh. I did not receive this news well, in fact, some might say I was rather inflexible about it. But I’m a team player so I started conjuring up new title ideas. I asked everyone, including the Reds, for suggestions. In the end, over one hundred titles were offered and rejected. My stress level was higher than ever before because, frankly, I still wanted my original title. Side note: I’m pretty sure all of this title drama -- along with my skin cancer treatments, rearing of hooligans, and other life incidents -- is what brought on my Shingles but…whatever. 

     Finally, a new title was decided upon and met with approval by the powers that be. In case you thought authors have any say in their titles, cover art, and occasionally their plot points, let me disabuse you of that notion here. We don’t. We can fight for what we want but it doesn’t generally (read very rarely) go our way.

     Back to life lessons. While pondering my blisters and my apparent need to be more flexible, I decided, with a pep talk from the Reds and others, to embrace the new title to the book. So, now I’ll share it with you. The book formerly known as The Gap Year is to be called Paris Is Always a Good Idea, coming out in July 2020. Despite the weeks of angst, I am very excited and I’ll bore you with more information on the book as the release date gets closer. To reward myself for my acquiescence, I'm planning a trip to Paris, for  more boots on the ground research, of course.


     In the meantime, I am trying to incorporate a new level of flexibility into my life. Traffic on the highway? It’s cool. I’ll get there when I get there. Hooligans not texting me back in a timely fashion? It’s all good. They’ll get to it when they get to it. Deadline fast approaching? No worries. The world will not actually implode if I turn in a book a few weeks late…um, I’m pretty sure. See? I’m getting there. Totally, working this whole flexibility thing!

How about you, Reds and Readers? How flexible are you with changes of plan? Any other gut punches from the universe telling you what you have to work on?

44 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear about your bout with shingles, Jenn . . . I hope you’re feeling better soon.

    It never fails to surprise me when writers say they have little or no input on book titles and such. Somehow that doesn’t seem quite fair; however, whether your book is “The Gap Year” or “Paris Is Always a Good Idea,” I’m looking forward to reading it.

    I have a sneaking feeling that I am not as flexible as I think I am, but [after a fair amount of grumbling] I can manage to roll with the changes. I think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Joan! Your support is much appreciated!

      Delete
  2. I can be flexible. As long as you give me a week's advanced notice.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope you feel better soon, Jenn, and I'm looking forward to your new book!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm so sorry about the shingles, Jenn. That totally sucks, and I hope it clears up soon. I THINK I've had the vaccine - must check.

    I just sent in a book and gently encourage my editor to use the title I want, which he initially wasn't crazy about (I mean, it's a Christmas cozy. Wouldn't you pick up a book called The Gingerdead Man?). We'll see how that goes.

    I'm not particularly flexible, either, and it's always hard for me to take care of body pains that flare up. Yes, you must rest that sore foot/knee/shoulder and not go bustling round, I have to scold myself. The up side of it is getting lots of reading done!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are usually such a trooper, Jenn - Shingles truly suck. And a hundred titles?? But Paris! Now that's a word that rings in a title.

    Am I flexible? I think you'd have to ask my husband. But I *think* I am. When things don't go my way I try to figure out how to make it work. Figure workarounds. I hate to give up... so maybe it depends on your definition of 'flexible'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Problem solving is a skill! My inflexibility kicks in when I run out of work around!

      Delete
  6. So sorry about the shingles thing. When the vaccine first came out here, it could only be had at the public health department and cost $200. I cringed when my doctor told me to go get it. He said I'd gladly pay anyone that much to avoid shingles. He was and is right. I've watched my friends get it time after time, and I'd wish it only on the antivaxers, another story.

    Personally I think it is sad that authors don't get to name their own books. On the other hand, those marketing people tend to know what sells, and a title that catches the eye of the majority is good.

    I hope you are over the worst of the pain and that you can get the vaccine soon. That pesky virus doesn't go away. It just retreats to lie in wait for the next opportunity to attack.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So sorry you missed all the fun in NY Jenn, and suffered instead. I can't wait to read this book and if you need an assistant in Paris, I'm available...

    Ditto, go get the shingrex shot. It comes in two parts and you might have to be persistent to find it--just do it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. So sorry about the shingles. I had a mild case in May right before I went on vacation. I hope you begin to feel better. I had to take Aleeve back and muscle pain meds also. I try to go with the flow when things change. I guess as I got older it began to get better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope I get better as I get older instead of worse! I fear the latter.

      Delete
  9. Sorry about the shingles. Yuck. I find as I age I’m more flexible about what life throws at me. Might do a stress then remind myself that if it is out of my control I have to step back. Hard lessons...especially for a control freak. I also find as I age I am much less flexible physically.. so, you win some and lose some. ��

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jenn, ouch! Thanks for the reminder (and sorry you had to endure an outbreak) to get the shingrex vaccination. My usual way of reacting to changes of plan is to panic, then try, as Hallie says, to find a work-around, then collapse in relief. I'm working on that, though. Think of it in terms of small steps. Yesterday had to meet someone for a potential (paying) project. First, nephew (whose car went on the fritz earlier) whipped in late with my car--but just in time for me to make my meeting on time if I took the shortcut. Ah, but then the longest train I've seen in many years held me up--with no alternative way to go that wouldn't make me even later. And guess what? I sat there and enjoyed the beautiful day, waited patiently for the last train car to roll on by and the gate to go up, then made my way without speeding to my destination. And it was fine, I arrived relaxed and not flustered, had an enjoyable meeting (and apple pie!), and got the project!

    Take your small victories as they come and they'll slowly add up to less stress for you! Hope you are feeling better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! There is a life lesson in there about the train.

      Delete
  11. So sorry about the shingles, Jenn. Ouch and yuck. And I’m putting ‘get vaccinated’ on my pre-school to-do list.

    As for being flexible, sure, yes, if necessary. After all, not everyone sees things my. Go figure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops. Forgot to say mega congratulations on your forthcoming women’s fiction book. The finally approved title is both eye-catching (Paris!) and intriguing (hmmmm I wonder if the story is really about a good idea?). Way to go, Jenn!

      Delete
  12. Several years ago a physical therapist told me I was very flexible which was news to me and anyway not what you are talking about. I think as I get older I am getting better at just letting it go, "put it in a bubble" as my friend used to tell me. Lately I often find myself saying "it can't be helped" and not stressing so much over whatever.
    So sorry to hear about your suffering with the shingles. Several years ago my mother had them and her experience pushed me to get the vaccine, which took several months, for reasons I do not understand but am not going to try to figure out. Now I need the new and improved vaccine and I've been on a waiting list since the end of December.
    For what it is worth I too think you should choose your own title. Now whenever I read a book I'll be wondering what the title was the author wanted. Oh, and by the way, for whomever keeps tracks of trends or whatever, I am truly over all those cutesy punny titles. Clever as they are, enough already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Judi! The improved vaccine is definitely the way to go!

      Delete
  13. Wasn't it John Lennon who said "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans"? Appropriate in this case, with your connection to music, Jenn. Growing up Catholic, another saying I learned may also apply, whether you are a believer or not: Let go and let God. There seem to be reasons for everything, although damned if I can figure them out. Maybe it's above my pay grade.

    I'm so sorry about the shingles. It sounds hideously painful, and on your cheek and ear? Oh, dear. I hope you get relief soon.

    Whoever finds a way to ease that particular pain deserves to become a celebrated bajillionaire.

    I have had the original vaccine, which was hard enough to acquire. I had to go to the walk-in medical place five times to get it. Now I have to start all over again. Which is annoying, but I guess not as bad as writhing in pain.

    Another vaccine you should all get is the one for pneumonia, which also has a new, two-step version. I've had pneumonia several times in my life, beginning when I was three years old (and hospitalized), so have gotten it every chance I've had. Believe me, as we age, this is something that we require. It can be devastating to an older person.

    Good health and pain-free living for all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, good call on the pneumonia vaccine, Karen! That is a misery.

      Delete
  14. Oh, Jenn, shingles is terrible. Just terrible. I was completely out of commission for two weeks. In bed, slugging down medicine, no idea of what happened in that two weeks. At the end, and I will try to find it for you, it wound up with me writing an essay very much like the one you did. I am serious! I had so much to do, and so many plans , including sending Christmas cards, And buying holiday gifts, and various other holiday things AND a book deadline, AND television station responsibilities, and none of it got done, none of it, and at the end I realized it’s just didn’t matter. It didn’t! there was nothing I cOULD do to make it work, no workarounds, no back up plans no well, let me figure out another way. I was just… Out. You know what? It was an unbelievably life-changing thing.
    I’m totally different about life now. Yes, I am still in goal oriented, but I have a completely different outlook. Yes I still try to make things work, but at some point, whatever.
    And, I think your new title is absolutely great. Absolutely. Great.
    You have shed a skin (:-)) and come out changed. Shingles is terrible, but what you also received as a result is incredibly valuable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true, Hank! I have been changed - a real priority adjustment - because it really was impossible to do anything and I realized everything could actually wait!

      Delete
  15. Jenn,

    Sorry to hear about your health issues.

    As for flexibility, I suppose we all have it to some degree but honestly I despise change. The universe may laugh when I make plans, but I assure you, I'm plotting the universe's death for doing so.

    But I'm trying to get better at it. I've at least gotten to the point where I don't pretend to care about things that I actually don't care about.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Taking your advice, Jenn getting the vaccine as soon as my insurance pays for it. Shingles is not on my to do list ever. Sorry it happened to you. Very interested in your Paris book best wishes there.

    When Hurricane Irma was headed over my house, one of the wisest person's I know said 3 things to me:
    Whatever happens, let it happen. Whatever happens it is okay. All the answers are found in the lessons/teachings. I took these 3 sentences to heart. It seems you have found an eureka moment too. sorry it had to be so painful. May you be well.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh Jenn, I'm so sorry about the shingles! It is a truly horrible disease. I was fortunate to get the Shingrix vaccine when it first came out, before the waiting lists developed, but my poor husband (who has had the previous, less effective vaccination) is still on a wait list.

    Though I'm sorry to hear all the struggles that went into the title and all the other aspects of the book, I have to say that PARIS IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA is a great title. Can't wait to read it!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jenn, shingles suck and I am so sorry that you landed with it. My poor mama had shingles badly and once I learned about the vaccine, V and I had shots. Yes pricy, but the cost is worth the protection. We are now one shot up on the new stuff, which wasn’t covered for me, but again the cost is worth the protection. I look at these medical issues for which there’s no reimbursement and am thankful that I can put the cost into perspective. After all giving up treats, even new books sigh, to safeguard health is smart. As for your new book, Big Congratulations on that piece of work. I like the original title but it’s a European term and my guess it wouldn’t play to enough folk this side of the pond. Plus as Hallie said, Paris says all; adventure, love maybe, food, art, I’ll buy it. As for flexibility, sigh! Many years ago, not wanting to cooperate on a college visit, my daughter appeared dressed in very torn jeans with a large, very large safety pin through the tears. This was decades before the fashion. I looked at her and realized the war was going to be more important than the battles, and I let it go. Peace reigned. So I agree with Coralee, let it go. Be better soon please.����

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jenn, I’m so sorry! Yikes! A few years ago I had the original shingles vaccine, and when I was picking something up at the pharmacy last August I was asked if I wanted to get on the list for the new one. They didn’t expect to have it until winter and they didn’t think they would be getting enough for all the people who would want it.I agreed to be put on the list, and the first half wasn’t available until around February. I had the second part of it done in April or May, and now I’m all set.

    About flexibility: I always end up being flexible in the end, but I start out kicking and screaming, figuratively, before I settle down and do what needs to be done. I kept June and July of this year free because I expected to be having knee replacement surgery in my deteriorating left knee. The knee pain is tolerable most days but I was told the knee continues to deteriorate. I’m doing okay with injections every few months, although they don’t help as much as they did in the beginning, My June and July ended up being free of surgery. Then I found out last week after a routine test that I need surgery on a total other body part, and it came as a complete and total surprise to me. I saw the surgeon two days ago and found out that it’s not an outpatient thing, it’s major surgery. I can expect to be in the hospital a few days. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the information. The surgery will be in mid September, so I’ll have time to get used to the idea. This will be my first non-orthopedic surgery(I’ve had five, three in the past two years) and the prospect is a little bit daunting. But I don’t want to live with the results of not having the surgery. Maybe it’s part of growing older, but I’m not doing my usual figurative kicking and screaming! I need to stock up on all the new books out this summer written by Reds and Friends of Reds!

    DebRo

    ReplyDelete
  20. OMG, Shingles (aka Revenge of the Chicken Pox)! I can only imagine how painful that is. I hope you get well soon, Jenn. I think you do amazing job handling all the stuff in your life. Enjoy your well-deserved trip to Paris.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm cringing, shingles and skin cancer treatments. And I was feeling sorry for myself having my arm cut twice for a basal cell carcinoma. Do feel better soon.

    I'll have to ask my doctor about the shingles vaccine. It took my five years to agree to have the annual flu vaccination, which are actually required in my office, it doesn't matter if I don't see patients. I have nothing against vaccinations but we didn't get them as kids after my sister's long hospitalization when she was given part of her polio vaccination. Our old family doctor took one look at her, after she returned home, not walking correctly, and decided she had developed polio, or a version of it. He said, with the exception of the polio, we were strong healthy kids, we wouldn't need the mumps, measles, or chicken pox vaccines. He was also my grandparents MD and knew my grandfather's medical history and how he reacted to medications. So we got to stay home from school about once or twice a year, when I first started school. I'm the oldest, I got to bring everything home first. If course Mom didn't like having mumps as an adult and neither one of us enjoyed our third bout of measles, as adults, that my brother brought home from Navy boot camp. It hit everyone of our arthritic and pre-arthritic joints. But I'm going to ask about the shingles vaccine since there seems to be a long lag time before one can get vaccinated maybe I'll get my mind to accept notion of it. Should probably ask about pneumonia vaccine too, I'm not getting any younger.

    Flexible, me? Ha! Every person I know would also be laughing right now. We Dales are an obstinate clan or at least my dad's portion. or it could be the Cagles.... I am trying to be more accepting of change whether I like it or, but it ain't easy. Since I'd rather be safe when I travel, so I don't mind delays, especially when traveling by air. I always have water, a book and yarn and hook no matter how I travel, so I won't get bored, just like to know what's going on. Changes at work aren't easy but I need to stay employed, I'm not independently wealthy yet. No, I don't like change but I'm trying not to fight it so much.
    Feel better soon Jean. Don't rush things.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jenn, I am so sorry to hear about the Shingles. Hope you get vaccinated and that you feel better soon! Reading your post reminded me that I need to ask my doctor about the Shingles vaccine. And The Gap Year sounds like a great title. It made me think of the Gap year between graduating from school and starting college. And I look forward to reading your novel set in Paris!

    How flexible am I? Over the years, I have learned that being flexible is less stressful. It also depends on the circumstances too.

    Diana

    ReplyDelete
  23. I’m sorry you developed shingles! However, I am surprised no one has mentioned anti-viral medication. It isn’t a cure but will shorten the duration and long-term pain from shingles.
    I received them early in my course of shingles and it was very mild experience for me. I cleared very rapidly with the medication. It did not stop my work or running.
    The new vaccine does not provide 100% protection.
    Your new book sounds great!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Frankly, I pretty totally NOT Flexible! I too need to work on that! And my doctor says if you’ve had shingles or chicken pox, the vaccination won’t work. ��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could be wrong but suggest you double check. Believe that most people who had chicken pox ARE at advised to get shot!

      Delete
  25. I’m so sorry to hear you have shingles. I’ve had the first shingrix shot and hope to get the second one next Friday. I like to think I’m flexible — and with small things I am. It’s the big things where I find I’m really not as flexible as I think I am. I have to say, I like the title The Gap Year better than the new title.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Jenn, I'm so sorry to hear that you've had shingles and had to miss your trip you were looking forward to. Learning to be more flexible is great, but getting there can, as you are evidence of, be a hard lesson. Apparently, I'm a very slow learner. I call this year "The Gut Punch Year." Friends' deaths and my own health issues have helped me recognize that the small stuff is indeed small, and there is the stuff that matters and you will know it. And, I've learned to more fully cherish the good things, small or large, like a bottle of Trader Joe's Chile Lime seasoning from a sweet Jungle Red.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Jenn, so very sorry to read this. I hear it's terrible! And thinks for the reminder. Hope you are on the mend.I've had the old shot but think I need another and never did it. Must follow up. No I am not naturally flexible. I like to settle on a plan and don't do well with certain people who always find a way to suggest changes. But life had been teachin me we are not in control of anything.Serious cured health issues show up again. We lose people we love and ones we don't live forever. I've ended up in the hospital twice when I was supposed to be on trips. We have to learn to roll with the punches because there is no real choice about it. (I'm working on it) There is an old saying (in Yiddish it rhymes) "Man plans and God laughs."

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sorry to hear about your health issues. I had the old vaccine and will have to ask about the new one.
    Although I need to have a plan, I've become pretty good at handling changes to it. I may have some mini-meltdowns before I come around. Now that I'm retired and live alone, no one hears me anyway.

    ReplyDelete