What's Hank's Writing--and thinking, and packing, and smashing the bots

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Getting ready for book tour. It always seemed so far away, for the past, oh, six months, when I knew my book ONE WRONG WORD was all finished, and happily printed in galley  versions, and I was well into my next book, which (don’t tell) is not quite finished but I have until January 15. Plenty of time.

(A new excerpt of OWW below!)

Anyway.  There is a massive raft of things to do before publication date, and my fabulous list has been almost derailed by an unexpected and ridiculous thing. More on that’s in a minute.

But quickly, first, so you know. I’m about to make fancy graphics to announce my schedule for February, and it’s going to be amazing. If you are in Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Texas, maybe we can see each other! I’ll let you know. I will be gone for two weeks, then home for three days, then out for two weeks again. Fantastic, but how do I pack? How how how? I refuse to check a bag. So this should be interesting. 

There are two launch parties! And you are invited! The pre-launch gala party, at Brookline Booksmith on February 2, and I’ll be in conversation with Tess Gerritsen! I am still absolutely floating, and hope you can come. 

Then the official launch day event party—February 6– at An Unlikely Story in Plainville Massachusetts. Have you ever been there? It is absolutely magical, and I am so honored to be able to launch OWW there. 

And I cannot wait to show you all the bookfaces some fabulous people are making with the cover. Can you guess who THIS is?

So. What is driving me batty during this pre-launch month? 

Bots. Or something. I am planning to do a lot of giveaways and promos on my Facebook Author page, but suddenly it is beset and besieged by I don’t even know what. I think they are bots. Or people who I don’t recognize who often post in other languages and other alphabets, and often are selling somewhat annoying, if not disgusting  products, or urging me and other real people to follow them. As if we would. 

Reds and Readers, I do not understand this. It's not like one or two, it is honestly, literally, thousands. Thousands. I try to block and delete and report, but it’s like whack-a-bot, and they just come back. I honestly don’t know what to do.

I suppose I could ignore it, and just let the vaguely intimidating and constantly irritating comments sprinkle through my Facebook posts, but they are so unpleasant, and attach themselves like parasites to the comments of my dear friends, and treasured readers.

It is such a thankless task to block and delete and report, and it takes three clicks at least to do one “name.” Does anyone have a better system ?

And also, does anyone know what these actually are? I cannot believe they are real people, and I don’t understand how bots work, and I certainly don’t understand the point! No one, right, is going to follow them, or believe that they are interested in the real us, and certainly they are not going to read my books. Or yours. Or anyone’s.

Has anyone done research on what these are? Hang on a second. I’m going to do that. 

((tum tee tum, looking this up.))

Well, a Google search was not helpful. Everybody has no idea. And certainly no one knows the point.

So. Two things. One, keep reading for a tiny excerpt of  ONE WRONG WORD.  One lucky reader today will win one of the few advance review copies I have left! 

To find out how to win,  sign up for our  brand spanking new Reds and Readers page on Facebook.  I will make sure you are admitted to the private group. 

And then:  I will be LIVE on the page AT NOON ET  to tell you more.

And yes, I will be doing that for my own page, too, because a private group keeps out the bots! And I will be sure to let you know how you can join Hank's Inside Scoop.  Or it might be called Hanks VIP Room. Which one do you think is better? 

Can you tell from this post that it’s a chaotic time? Writing book 16, figuring out my elevator pitch for ONE WRONG WORD,  pretending not to look at reviews, (they’re fabulous,) and smashing  the bots. 

Never a dull moment, but that’s how we like it. 

So Reds and Readers, here’s a tiny bit of ONE WRONG WORD. On the book's  back cover, you’ll see fantastic endorsements from David Baldacci, Shari Lapena, Mary Kubica and James Patterson!  And more! And I hope you love it, too. Let me know – – you know those reviews are beyond essential.

And let me ask--are you battling the bots?

One Wrong Word stars crisis management expert Arden Ward. And here, in chapter one, in her beloved office, she is about to get a surprise from her boss, Warren Carmichael. This scene picks up in the middle of the chapter.

      Warren actually gulped. She’d never seen his face so ashen.

      “Listen, Arden. I don’t like this any more than you will. But understand. The Swansons are major clients. Lucrative clients. Company-supporting clients.”

      “Well, I know. I brought them to you. When we met at my Saving Calico childhood leukemia fundraiser. Remember?”

      “Oh. Right.” Warren picked up his glass, rattled the ice. “I didn’t think anything could make this more difficult.”

     “Make what?”

      “So Patience Swanson thinks you and her husband have a . . . thing. That he gave you the Joy perfume.”

       Arden clapped a palm to her chest. “She’s insane.”

       “Possibly. Probably. But that doesn’t change anything. She demands that we let you go.”

      “She? Demands? You let me go?” Every nerve cell in Arden’s brain had burst into flames.

       “I have no choice.”

       “Choice? Of course you do.” Arden took a step toward him, arms spread in exasperation and disbelief. “Who does she think put her husband where he is today?”

        “I’m sorry, Arden. It’s a situation. I don’t know what to say.”

         “You don’t? Well, I do.” She jabbed toward him with a forefinger. “You can say ‘she’s lost her freaking mind.’ You can tell that woman I’m a valuable employee who brings in big bucks, and new clients, and will continue to do so. And who, it goes without saying, is not having some sort of sordid affair with her vile entitled husband who clearly she has problems with. But the ‘problems’ are not me. A situation? It’s my life!”

      “I’m sorry, Arden. Unless you can prove he didn’t give you perfume. Unless you can prove he didn’t—”

     She rolled her eyes to the heavens, then harnessed her outrage. “I’m not going to prove one thing on this planet. Ask him, right? First of all, I can’t prove something that didn’t happen, that’s through the looking glass, and I cannot believe you’re even asking me that. Is that what you think of me? Let me ask you that. That this is true?”

     “No, of course not, no.” Warren lurched to his feet, turned away, not looking at her, looking at every place else but her. “He’ll deny it. So I can’t force him to—”

     “Ah. I see. Warren. Look at me. So you believe her, not me? Is that what you’re saying? Because if that is what you’re saying, Warren, I could file so many lawsuits it’d make your head spin. Hey. You’re a pro. Imagine the headlines. Blame the victim? Or wait, would you paint me the vixen, the temptress? Oh, yeah, do it. Please do that. I’d love that. Bring it.”

     Warren had to know this was bull. “Are you hearing me?” she persisted. “Are you ignoring me? Look at me. I know the rules. I know the deal. You cannot do this. I’ll go to HR so fast it’ll—”

     “Be careful, Arden.” Warren interrupted her. “Take a beat. If you sue me, well, that’s not gonna help you, is it? Suddenly you’re . . . a problem employee. A liability. On the defensive. It’s not a good look. You know that.”

     “What I know—and what you know—is that it’s not true.”

ONE WRONG WORD

Now available for pre-order.

Coming February 6 from Forge Books.