JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: We've all heard about Swedish Death Cleaning, yes? I confess, I'm not sure how it got it's name - I don't suppose Swedes as a group get ready en masse for the end. On the other hand, we've all seen clips of Ingmar Bergen's The Seventh Seal, so maybe they are?
The goal is to declutter and organize, not just for you, but to make it easier for your family to deal with your home and possessions when you go toes up. But it's also an absolutely prime way to get your house more ready to put on the market. I'm not planning on either in the immediate future, but I am sick of having a huge house where I still can't comfortably have guests sleeping over because the bedrooms are still crowded with the kids junk precious things.
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| From Just A Girl and her Blog. My tubs, sadly, don't match... |
At any rate, this spring, I decided to combine the traditional seasonal deep clean with a real deep clean, tossing bags and bags of old clutter from the kids' rooms, shoveling out the depths of a closet that went back thirty years (dear reader, I found perfectly preserved baby clothes there!) and finally sorting my Christmas decor by type, giving away ornaments that no longer sparked joy, as Marie Kondo says. It's so perfectly organized now, I plan on including 'The Christmas Closet' as a regular part of the house tour.
If you have a keen eye, you may notice that I'm writing about this as if it's still going on, despite the fact we're in late August and getting perilously close to the Fall cleaning season. Yes! It is, and I am still working on it. But now I've run into a difficult contradiction.
This Saturday, my daughter Victoria is getting married! (You can read more on that this weekend.) Some of you may remember I've already referred to my daughter's wife, and mentioned their November trip to city hall in the comments. They're doing this European style, separating the civil service and the religious festivities.
As a result, my house is going to be topped off with guests. Along with Spencer and Virginia returning to the nest, I'm putting up both Victoria's godmothers (plus one godmother-husband.) In addition, I'm having a dinner party Friday night!
The issue, of course, is that Swedish Death Cleaning involves careful consideration, organization, and sorting. Here Come The Guests cleaning involves putting everything into boxes or laundry baskets and shoving it all into a closet or unused bedroom where no one will see your shame.
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| This will VERY MUCH not be me. |
But there are no unused bedrooms! Heck, I'm putting myself on the blow-up bed in the family room. And I'll be darned if I'm going to sully those carefully emptied closets with yet more odds and ends. What to do, what to do?
Dear readers, tell us your techniques for in-depth cleaning versus Quick! Guests! cleaning. By
the time you read this, I will have hopefully succeeded in prepping for my visitors without disappointing the Swedes. Or Death. If not, I'll let
you know in the comments.
Yikes, trying to clean up guest space in time for a bunch of wedding guests is challenging!
ReplyDeleteSorry, I can't really offer any quick-clean advice. I am in the "shove all the mess in the closet" type of host, having lived in small apartments (mostly 1-bedroom, now a 2-bedroom in Ottawa) on my own for over 40 years.
It's been a long time, but I didn't have nearly the amount of stuff to deal with back when I lived in small apartments, Grace. I think the space restriction lends itself to more discipline about what comes in through the door.
DeleteA house full of guests . . . how lovely.
ReplyDeleteAs for the cleaning . . . if you're desperate, odds and ends [and storage tubs looking for a permanent home] slip very well into the basement, the attic, and/or the shed out back so that no one has to worry about them until after the guests have gone home. Rule Number One: Don't make yourself so crazy with preparations that you're too exhausted to enjoy the special days that are coming your way . . . .
An excellent point, Joan!
DeleteI come by the “Aaack, guests are coming! Shove any clutter into bags and hide them” type of cleaning technique genetically. My parents had one party a year at Christmas. My mom would go into a panic, shove all the clutter into brown grocery bags and my dad would dutifully carry them into the two-car-but-only-one-car-fits-because-of-the-all-of-the-stuff garage. For me, remodeling the house helped clean out a lot of clutter, but I’m guessing you don’t have time for that. As Joan suggests, there must be an attic, basement or yes, even a garage to temporarily stash your shame. Best of luck, remember to breathe and enjoy the happy event! Congratulations to all! — Pat S
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of sticking everything into the family room, which we won't be using since it will be my "bedroom," and closing the door, Pat. Out of sight...
DeleteSell your house and move across the country. That was the only way I got rid of stuff.
ReplyDeleteI am also a shove everything in the bedroom guests are coming cleaner. Trying not to do that here but it is a tough habit to break.
Oh Brenda, I wish I could say that idea works. We tried it 25 years ago and it took 2 full moving vans, 2 vehicles, a motor cycle (you just never know), cats, rats and elephants and such good things as glass bricks (see motor cycle) old bits of 2X4's, rusty nails that needed sorting... perhaps I live with a cheap packrat? He built a treehouse for the kids this summer and is so pleased that he spent no money except for screws (he must have run out of rusty ones, but I did see him pounding out the crooked nails, and is giggling about the lino in the house - rescued from my fathers storage pile (along with more nails). The lino was from my parents house and laid in 1963. Lovely, tell your mother...
Delete"He must have run out of rusty ones". Thanks for the coffee splatter, Margo!
DeleteBrenda, my college roommate/Victoria's godmother is already here and being helpful. SHE has moved every 3-5 years for the past couple of decades, and credits that with never having excess clutter!
DeleteSounds like you are blessed there, Julia! Make as much use of her as you can!!
DeleteOur log cabin is 600 square feet, two bedrooms, one of which is my office, and one bath, so we don't get overnight guests.
ReplyDeleteI found out yesterday that my husband's cousin is in town and will likely drop in unannounced. I'll be Swiffering like crazy, but since she won't be staying here, that's about as far as it goes.
I keep trying to declutter Swedish Death Cleaning style, but my husband the packrat just takes it as a challenge to refill those pesky voids in the cabinets with MORE STUFF.
There must be something about a 1/4 empty shelf that cries into the void to be filled, Annette.
DeleteI’ve been working on editing the books (both hubs and I are avid readers). Into the newly created space went some of the books piled on the floor. A cause for celebration-so we celebrated by going to a book sale!!
DeleteOne of the aspects of our upcoming anniversary trip we look forward to most is a great second hand bookstore in the town. A previous cleaner thought we had a problem…
I have no tips besides shoving things in place one never thinks of...like inside the oven if you don't use it; the balcony/porch is a good place
ReplyDeleteI do have a brush dump pile at the back of the property Dru Ann...
DeleteEchoing Dru, the dryer can also be a useful storage site, as long as the pesky guests don’t do laundry.
DeleteOh, what a dilemma, but for such a happy reason, Julia. It's the same problem with staging a house for showings - you want to clear all surfaces, but what if the prospective buyers start opening cabinet and closet doors?
ReplyDeleteI have no good tips, alas. I'm sure your beloved guests won't care about a little clutter. Wishing you and yours the happiest of wedding celebrations!
Anyone interested in buying a house will definitely open cupboards and closets. In one house that I eventually bought, I was astounded to see the amount of junk crammed into the bedroom closet. I have no idea why it didn't all topple out when I opened the doors.
DeleteIt is a very happy reason, Edith. And Judi, thinking of surprises in closets, my sister, the Realtor, was once walking through a house she'd been asked to sell. Everything was clear and tidy, already mostly emptied out...and then she got to the downstairs closet. No, there wasn't any clutter. The owners hadn't used it to store anything; it was where their cat's litterbox had been. Apparently, the cat had bad aim, because as soon as Barb opened the door she was nearly knocked out by the smell!
DeleteBuy big plastic boxes marked "company clutter" preferably rainproof and put outdoors or in garage. It doesn't get mixed up with the already neat areas and you (especially if outdoors) must deal with it immediately after they leave.
ReplyDeleteMaren, that is a genuinely genius idea!
DeleteNo tips, but lots of good wishes for a wonderful time with your loved ones.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elizabeth!
DeleteJulia, I feel your pain. Clutter is a challenge and it is easier for me to acquire more than to toss what's here. I mean, what do you do with the folder of awards and citations from the time you were honored by your organization? There have been 3 governors since the one who signed yours. These aren't the kinds of things you hang on the wall. Will the kids who clean out your stuff when you dearly depart, even look in the envelope before it is thrown in the dumpster? I need to get a grip. I need to make these cleaning sessions count by tossing stuff out.
ReplyDeleteDon't toss out the citations and awards Judy. Years ago I was going through boxes of stuff from my husband's parents after they passed away. I found awards she received from local organizations (one prominent national one she was president of) that I never knew about. It was so nice to come across these. You're children will too.
DeleteThat's definitely the point of the Swedish thing, Judy - to make it easier on your kids when they have to clear your place out.
DeleteOr take photos and store in a digital file.
DeleteFrom Celia: I shall be in Maine this weekend and participating in a certain event plus having a houseful of guests. I have one day for clean / clear up. With so little time I've been making mental lists of which areas will be tamed and which will await the Fall clean/ clear trip as I am currently living between three homes. Surfaces will be cleared off into donating to the "Limerick Mall", giving to friends.- There's a huge blue Betty tea pot in this pile along with a Kitchaid professional mixer I bought on sale in the '70's. - lots of items, papers ( there are tax records from Victors arrival in the USA 1966, to current as he never threw a paper away), which will be trashed or recycled. I am dealing with my elephant one mouthful at a time. The end game will be a sale, date still undetermined. Sorry Julia I'm not much help but wish you luck, a strong back, and will power.
ReplyDeleteCelia, having now emptied out four homes filled with decades-old financial records and correspondence, I have a tip for you regarding paper: Call a shredder company to come and pick it all up. If there isn't one that comes to your home (there usually is, but they may only go to offices), find one that will accept paper that someone can load up and drop off for you. I have taken three fully packed sedans to shredders, every possible space but the driver's seat, plus we had half a dumpster full that got recycled. It's remarkable how much paper just multiplies in the corners, shelves, closets, and drawers. Wish I could come and help. It's such a job.
DeleteGood luck to you as well, Celia! Karen, I had a friend who used one of those shredding companies and it made getting rid of the paper SO much easier. As a bonus, after shredding, they recycled everything for pulp.
DeleteJust to add to the shredding advice, Celia: even if they are decades old, you MUST shred your old tax returns. No matter how old, they have both Victor’s and your social security numbers on them. My CPA husband says you should keep at least the past five years returns in paper form. — Pat S
DeleteBack in the olden days, SSN were on everything! Paystubs, transcripts, you name it. Shred, shred, shred! Or for my parents’ papers we had a big bonfire.
DeleteCareful though getting rid of of documents and tax returns. If you can scan these items into a computer it is worth it.
DeleteWHY? My father in law saved every document in every transaction he work on. One day (I don't remember the details) because he had proof of documents from 20 years earlier, he was able to collect $120,000 which 30 years ago was a lot of money!!!
congrats to Victoria! After the drawn-out and tedious process of showing a house for sale, I have a few suggestions: scoop up all the last-minute clutter, put it in a laundry basket, and stash it in the trunk of your car. If you have unfolded clean laundry on top of the machines (who doesn't?), shove it back in the dryer. Throw dirty clothes in the washer. Stock up on paper towels, Clorox wipes to give bathrooms a quick swipe, and enjoy your first child's wedding.
ReplyDeleteThose are some smart tips, Margaret! Thank you!
DeleteYes! I miss having a car with a trunk. SUVs just don’t hide things as well.
DeleteCongratulations to Victoria! May they have a long and happy life together and may whatever joys and challenges they face together only strengthen their bond.
ReplyDeleteJerry -- what a lovely wish for a couple. I am going to copy it down; thank you.
DeleteThank you so much, Jerry! They're off to a splendid start.
DeleteAnd as for in-depth cleaning, ignorance is bliss. There is a lot to be said for sticking one's fingers in one's ears and going, "La, la, la, la, la, I can't see you!"
ReplyDeleteMy mother used to say the solution for not having cleaned before guests was low lighting and strong drinks. :-)
DeleteYour mom was a wise woman!
DeleteJulia, that was my Mom’s thought. It seemed to work. I have no useful tips for this. Wishing z Victoria and her wife a long and happy marriage. May they love as long as they live, and live as long as they love.
DeleteWe are coming up on the one year anniversary of our downsize into a condo, so the memory of "Swedish Death Cleaning" is still pretty fresh in my mind. I guess my only advice is, don't make things you hide look TOO acceptable where they land.
ReplyDeleteBy the end of our process, there were a few small plastic bins where the last odds and ends I couldn't get through in time landed. They were moved into our shared office closet to be gone through at the new place. Also, my dear husband did a dismal job of cleaning out the garage, so a number of bins full of probably useless stuff went there. We committed that as soon as we got into the new place, those things would finally get culled. Well of course, as we approach the one-year anniversary, that culling has not happened. So I support Margaret's idea of hiding things in the trunk of your car or other places like that which simply will not allow themselves to become permanent.
Other than that, I join the chorus of voices saying relax and enjoy this wonderful family time. Wishing Victoria and her wife a lifetime of happiness!
Thank you, Susan! And yes, the thing I really worry about is stashing stuff effectively enough so I'm not motivated to actually dig through it and toss/ reorganize/ appropriately store it.
DeleteJulia, it's probably too late now but you could have had my sister over. She loves to toss stuff out. With abandon. Of course then you'd never see it again but your clutter problem will be solved.
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing, Judi. I've observed that it's always much easier to be ruthless with someone else's stuff!
DeleteOH Julia, if you are anything like me, I have very sad news to report. Deep cleaning for me always involves the dining room table which always is commissioned as my auxiliary sorting system. This was particularly true when I was editing the paper, and being archivist for the local museum. Piles, and more piles and yet more piles. All carefully sorted and I swear I knew where to find everything (unless there was a cat skidout, which involved unrepeatable language in fine society).
ReplyDeleteThen someone would visit. Usually the kids with little kids. Apparently, they needed to eat at the table – why, I ask? We never use it the other 360 days of the year – suck it up. Individual piles were put in individual boxes (long before Amazon gave you a box for free if you bought something). Those boxes were then carefully stored in a closet, or bedroom, or somewhere… Often piled one on top of the other in a very non-steady jenga game.
The bad news – these boxes have rarely (never) been revisited again! I have not written the paper since 2020. The boxes are still there. There is a strong possibility that I no longer have a brain rolodex of what is in them. That leaves two maybe three options. 1) option 1 – forget about them and never use that bedroom again. 2) dive in and waste part of my valuable days sorting, only to create more piles that will no doubt have to be moved to yet another box. Or Option 3) ignore the entire thing, add it to the will for the kids to inherit along with the mortgage and the bills, and say have a nice bonfire!
Margo, I have been very, VERY tempted to take option three, especially since SO much of the odds and ends filling up every closet belonged to the kids in the first place!
DeletePut it all in plastic bags or some kind of boxes that you already have, and put it all out in the garage. Just get it out of there. Don’t look at it. Just get it out out out. Promise yourself it’s temporary Promise yourself you’ll come back and sort it later. Then see if you ever think of it again. You won’t.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! And then concentrate on having an incredible time! Congratulations!
I don't have a garage, Hank, but I do have a barn. My alternate plan to the Swedish Death Cleaning is to put everything there and then burn it to the ground.
DeleteYes, barn. Just put it there. Decide what to do with it later.
DeleteCongratulations to Victoria and I look forward to seeing photos from the wedding and reading about the wedding. Thank you for sharing with us.
ReplyDeletePerfect timing for this post since I am in the midst of decluttering. This week I finally tackled the big project of decluttering. This have been ongoing for years. This time I finally threw away as much as possible.
Wish I could give you advice, Julia. I have the little book titled Swedish Death Cleaning.
There is a new sleep tracker app that I discovered called RISE sleep, which tells you, based on your answers and your body clock, how many hours of sleep you need, your peak times when you can do the hardest work, your afternoon dip (nap time for me) and when to get ready for sleep.
Since I started the sleep tracker, I figured out the best time to focus on decluttering (9:34am to 1:24p.m.). Yesterday I was digging through bags and I am finding things that I had been looking for. One of the good things about decluttering is finding things. However, I have been finding things that expired before the pandemic! Yes, I threw them away! Somehow I missed these things during my attempts to declutter months ago.
Hoping to complete the decluttering of that room so that door to the deck can be fixed.
Diana, that's so interesting that you could pinpoint the best time for that sort of work! I'll have to take a look at the app.
DeleteMy advice: unless it's stuff that will get in the way, don't worry about it! Everyone coming will be there to celebrate Victoria's happy occasion (and she's due soon, right? So lots and lots and lots of attention on the brides/new moms-to-be!!). And I'm glad I have a basement--no reason for anyone to go down there. I have a laundry area with a nice assortment of laundry baskets, a sorting/folding table, and (now) two washers (one for pet stuff) and a dryer--lots of places to stash stuff temporarily. P.S. Even in the bedrooms, who would be looking UNDER the beds??
ReplyDeleteVery true, Flora, and these are all good friends who have generous hearts. Mostly, I just want to clear the dust away so no one has to live on Benadryl while they're here!
DeleteMy question for you is, what date will they celebrate as their anniversary? My niece was married in Amsterdam 18 mos ago to a too-tall-dutch-man (he is over 6’, and she barely tops 5). They were married on June 29 in a church wedding and then in City Hall on July 1. This apparently was wrong as they were supposed to be married city hall first and then church later, if at all. I have yet to figure out on which date they were legally married.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and I wish all a wonderful day!
That's an excellent question, Margo. If it were me, I'd claim both of them, and thus have a reason to celebrate both in August and in November!
DeleteFrom Celia: look at what i found in the Washington Post this morning-
ReplyDeletehttps://www.washingtonpost.com/home/2025/08/27/how-to-try-microorganizing/
Ooo! Bookmarking that for later...
DeleteCongrats on the upcoming wedding! There are two things I would consider:
ReplyDelete1. gather up all the clutter or unnecessary "stuff" and have it stored in a garage or storage unit.
2. One thing I did a few years ago was to hire my cleaning lady who spent a few days (not cleaning) but organizing and clearing out closets, cabinets, etc. Why? It was relatively inexpensive and she didn't get bogged down with sentimental things or emergencies like "oh I need to wash my hair now" or other distractions. She was a miracle worker!!
Having someone else come in is a brilliant idea, Anon. You're right, a cleaner isn't going to pick up some dollar store item and have to weight whether to keep it or not!
DeleteYes, that is a brilliant idea. I did that in our basement some years ago. I did a fast scan, then called in the junk person, and said--take this all and do what you will with it. I have never ever missed one thing. I don't even know what it was.
DeleteThat's the thing isn't it Hank. We put stuff away in boxes or in closets and it just sits there taking up space. If someone came in and removed those boxes we'd never miss it. Even if it's something valuable - it isn't of value to us if we don't use it. Maybe time to let someone else value our stuff by donating it.
DeleteMazel tov to Victoria and her wife, and to the entire family. What a lovely reason to gather and celebrate. Bonus, while you're all together you could have a baby shower!
ReplyDeleteI am "eating the elephant" one shelf, one box, one drawer at a time, but it's gotten away from me, especially the garage. Holy moley. Between my jillion garden projects (at least 300 empty plant containers, three garden hoses that leak), and Steve's trillion bird/birdfeeding projects, I am chomping at the bit to haul the whole mess out onto the drive and purge relentlessly. Then there's my closet, and Steve's. We both have clothing we have owned for decades that we never even touch. Someone could use it.
The kids' stuff! Why does it take so long for them to claim and retrieve it all? Middle daughter turns 41 this weekend, and she STILL has boxes and boxes of her junk here, dating back to grade school. I would load up the car and deposit it at her place, but she lives 2400 miles away. I'm about to issue an ultimatum: come and get it, or all that stuff you don't even remember anyway is getting recycled.
Oh, sorry. You wanted tips! Ha. Good luck, and don't worry about it. The guests all love you, and they do not care. Hugs.
Karen, that's probably the best tip of all!
DeleteA house full of guests! How wonderful and horrifying at the same time.
ReplyDeleteWe've never had space for overnight guests. In the old house, all the bedrooms were full (2 kids and us). We do have a spare bed in my office down at The Cottage (now called Cloudview, btw). But prep for guests is the same:
- wash the floors and vacuum the rugs
- scrub the cooktop
- wipe the countertops and try to put the small appliances in some sort of order
- scrub the bathroom
- dust, dust, dust
We try to put as much away in its proper place as possible, but there are the odds and ends that get stuffed in a closet, under the bed, in the basement...
Liz, when I was up in the attic trying to figure out where even to START with sorting and tossing, I realized there were boxes of things that had been thrown up there before a holiday dinner back with my now 30-y-o son was in high school! Yikes!
DeleteCongratulations to Victoria and her wife!
ReplyDeleteI'll pass that on, Kait!
DeleteEnjoy the celebration of love, family, and just be. To heck with clutter and dust. Life is too precious for drudgery. Thank you, Julia, for lighting up this dim Wednesday. Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elisabeth!
DeleteStep 1: STOP and BREATHE!
ReplyDeleteStep 2: put arriving children to work when they arrive, after the initial hugs. They can help with the boxing and hauling out of site
Step 3: what so many others have said - do what is needed to make your home "presentable" (as grandma would have said) and then enjoy
Step 4: Repeat Step 1 throughout the day
Step 5: STOP everything at 5pm the day before the non children guests arrive. Wash your face and hands. Pour a refreshing drink. Put your feet up and enjoy your family.
Have a marvelous, happy peaceful joyous gathering of family and friends as you celebrate your daughter's wedding.
Congratulations to Virginia, and best wishes for a long and lovely life with her wife. I’m very happy for them.
ReplyDeleteI have the opposite problem - my husband will throw out anything. I mean, ANYTHING. He takes great pleasure in it. When we had a house and a house full of kids, he would rent a dumpster every few years and I had to keep an eye on him. Now that we’re retired and have downsized, we really don’t have much that we don’t need, but he still wants to throw away anything he can! I have to explain to him that just because he doesn’t value something, doesn’t mean that I don’t value it!
Felicitations to the happy couple. Strength and good humor to you as you rearrange. I'd suggest boxes or big bags to hide away all the "undecided" items, which can be donated after X months if not missed . . . or just put up a "Love Me Love My Mess" or "Martha Stewart Doesn't Live Here" sign at the front door. Hugs <3 --Storyteller Mary
ReplyDeleteEveryone has the same problem so don't sweat it! We all know you are the hostess with the mostess and set a beautiful table with gorgeous meals. Haul what's bugging you out to the barn and then forget about it. I wish many happy years to Victoria and her wife.
ReplyDeleteOne word - garage. Saved me many times. I also put the items in an inconvenient place in the garage (partially blocking the washer/dryer or the freezer) so I'm not tempted to just leave them there.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you either get out some old "Get Well Soon" cards or buy some new ones and place on a table visible to all. They are your proof when you say that you wish you could have gotten more done before everyone arrived but you had been ill. Of course, that works better for individual guests or surprise guests (having the cards handy to put out quickly). Since you probably won't be using the sick excuse, you could put some tubs with flat tops side by side in one of the bedrooms, cover with a lovely cloth, put some candle and meditation items out, and say that's your meditation center.
ReplyDeleteAnd, before I say anything else, let me congratulate Victoria and her wife on their upcoming wedding ceremony. What a happy time this event will be for all, gathering together so much joy and love. I really don't think anyone will be doing a white glove test on the furniture.
In this happy post, I won't go into the reason you all are well aware of that my house is clutter from one end to the other, but some things are harder to go through and harder to say goodbye to. I am proud that I have the closet in my son's room 3/4 of the way organized and filled. And, as with so many of us, books are an ongoing declutter project.
Julia, dust and vacuum, clean bathrooms, wipe down kitchen. Throw everything else in your family room, leaving room for you to crawl to your air mattress, then don't worry about it!! Relax and have a fabulous time! And best wishes to the brides!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I have house guests, I stack all the junk I need to get out of the guest bedroom and the public part of the house in my office--on the floor, on the armchair, all over the sofa--and close the door. But if I had to bed down guests in my office? Then I don't know what I'd do! Good luck and have a great time anyway.
ReplyDeleteHow to cheat--rent a storage locker and put boxed stuff there. If you never remember you've stored stuff, that's s sign you can abandon it!
ReplyDeleteYou have a historic home. Everything will look
ReplyDeleteQuaint. As if it belongs to create the ambiance. Just enjoy a very special occasion. If you are tense your guests will be too!