JENN McKINLAY I married into my hair stylist. I know it sounds weird, but Ben the hair wizard started cutting the Hub's hair when Hub was eighteen. Hub is just shy of sixty now so that's a very long relationship between a man and his hair guy. When I married the Hub, Ben became my hair wizard, too. Naturally, when the Hooligans came along, they got their first haircuts with Ben and remained his clients until they moved away from home.
A few months ago, Ben told us he and his wife Barb, also a hair stylist, were retiring. We were thrilled for them but a bit bereft for us. We have known them for decades. We didn’t even have to explain the cut or in my case the color that we wanted, because they knew. Getting a haircut at Ben and Barb's was like visiting family. I even wrote them into one of my books WAIT FOR IT.
How about you, Reds, have you ever had to say good-bye to a professional that you've known forever -- hairdresser, mechanic, accountant -- an wondered, well, shoot, now what am I going to do?
LUCY BURDETTE: That’s a long hair relationship! I hate when that happens! Here’s the thing I dread the most: losing my dental hygienist. Trudy’s been taking care of my teeth since I moved to New Haven in 1984 and she does the best job. She’s a little older than me, so it wouldn’t be unreasonable for her to retire…but I beg her every time I see her and she assures me all is well. We know all about each other’s families, and we chat about books and Broadway shows, even though it’s not that easy to talk with your mouth full of equipment. She stops in at all my Connecticut booksignings. Oh Trudy, please don’t leave me!
HALLIE EPHRON: Recently my primary care physician retired. My first criteria, aside from competence, was AGE! I wanted someone much younger than me. My new PCP is just a few years out of medical school.
Youth was my #1 criteria when I had to be assigned a new editor at HarperCollins. (Sadly, publishing houses are known for laying off their oldest and most experienced editors.)
I also miss my mechanics – brothers (Brian and Greg) and before them their dad (Mr. Egan) who owned my local Sunoco station. I’d put them in one of my books and brought over a signed copy.
Marching into the future, kicking and screaming.
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, Jenn, this is SUCH a thing! First, my primary care physician retired, she was so great, and we had been together for gosh, so many years? I mean, I know I got older, but she was not allowed to. Think of the history. She’s seen me go from 36 to 76. I mean–that is a process!
The replacement is a version of how the original was, she’s fine. But it’s a different relationship. Although she probably knows newer things–I guess. What’s “standard” is certainly different, for better and for worse.
My dentist recently informed me he was retiring, too, SHEESH. And he is enthusiastic about the person who is taking over the practice. “You’ll love her,” he says. We shall see.
And yeah, even my dermatologist, who is famous and fabulous? Yup, gonzo in three months.
But if my hair guy retires, I’m just going to stay out of the public eye for the rest of my life. Clearly there is no other option.
RHYS BOWEN: I am still in recovery mode from my hairdresser going back to Thailand with no warning after twenty plus years. I’ve tried two people since. Both disappointing. I may have to fly to Thailand! And my doctor is getting on in years too. John’s is retiring at the end of the year and a new, young concierge is double the price. If my house cleaner stops working I’ll be in despair!
DEBORAH CROMBIE: Jenn, losing your hair person is the worst! Or quitting your hair person. I stopped going to my long-time stylist, who was also a friend, during covid, when she wouldn’t get vaccinated. And then, when I’d cut my own hair for a year (argh) it would have felt really weird to go back, as well as still unsafe. So I found a new stylist, who has since moved to another salon and I drive 30 minutes to get my hair cut!
But the worst is losing your primary care doctor. Ours, who had been our doctor for 18 years, moved to Missouri last year. He was also a neighbor, and he even made housecalls! We miss him so much. The new doctor is very nice but it takes years to build a relationship.
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: You may have noticed my hair is always up in a bun these days. I'm hoping it makes me look like a stern Latin professor at a women's college in Oxford, but I fear it really just reads "Granny who makes biscuits." The reason I haven't cut it is because during the pandemic my hairdresser, whom I had found after going from place to place for several years, left the state! The nerve of her, to go get married and move in with her new husband.
I've been waiting for the energy to find a new stylist, but honestly, I found the right place to get my Shih Tzus groomed, and that may be as far as it goes. (The groomer is only in his twenties; I'm hoping the dogs and I will all be in the ground before he retires.)
How about you, Readers? Have you lost any professionals in your life that you can't replace?
It's hard when professional relationships come to an end . . . I thought I was going to lose my primary care physician, but that turned out not to be the case, thank goodness. I simply cannot imagine . . . .
ReplyDeleteMy dentist was the first to retire and then we had a couple of years where the new ones kept leaving for additional schooling before we moved. My new dentist looks like a 12 year old, but I guess I like her and the hygienist I have had once so far.
ReplyDeleteThen my doctor retired. I picked a different one in the practice to go to, but never did because we decided we were moving. I’ve seen my new one here once so far. So far so good. Another young female.
I’m still not over my Mayo rheumatologist leaving to go where the research funding was for the pediatric research she was doing. I loved her. I only ever saw a nurse practitioner after that…10 years. Have just been having video appts with her since we moved but finally have an appt in February with a live person here.
I hated leaving my dermatologist behind. I was just so comfortable with her. The one I went to here was okay so far.
I hope I am not going to have to start over again when I become eligible for Medicare in two years.
And the worst was leaving my dear Amy who cut my hair! Our whole family has been going to her for over 30 years. I have been to 3 new people so far. The first one did a horrible job. I spent months growing all the choppy layers out so I could try again. The next person did a decent job getting it back to the look I wanted, although the consistency was lacking and the last two times she cut it quite a bit shorter than I wanted. She up and retired and I just saw a different person at the same salon last week as they rescheduled me. It was basically a ten minute trim. I will go back to her and see how it goes.
Ugh! My grandmother was a beautician, so growing up I always got my hair cut on our quarterly trips to Ohio. Then in junior high, my sister and I both grew our hair out, so we just trimmed each others’ ends.
ReplyDeleteWhen I moved to SoCal, my hair was still long so I made my husband trim it, which he hated. After a couple of years, I went to a co-worker’s stylist (he had a floppy 90’s Hugh Grantesque style that was perfectly cut.
I followed this stylist around for 25 years, to a series of salons that were further and further away. Finally she was cutting out of her home, and it was taking 2 + hours - there were a variety of mental and physical health challenges, I fear.
For the first 18 months of COVID I just let my hair grow since it was up all of the time. when I was ready to get it cut, I decided I was too old to kneel by the side of the tub to get my hair washed, so I broke up with my stylist. I don’t know if I would have the guts to do it without the COVID break in seeing her, and despite the challenges, she still did a great job on my difficult hair.
It's happened to us several times. Our primary care doctor moved when his daughters left the area. He was just amazing and I still miss him. He sold his practice to a woman whom we stayed with for two years but both of us felt uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteMy OBGYN had passed away and his partner retired around the same time. We were in our 50's. The woman who took over that practice is wonderful. I confided in her about needing a new GP and she recommended her own GP. She's a perfect match for us.
I've had break ups with hairdressers., but have been with the same guy now for years. The hairdresser before him was a genius with a scissor but stark raving mad. Leaving her was tough but necessary. Her life was a soap opera.
The latest was my dentist who retired and sold his practice. One trip to his replacement dentist, who told me she'd be replacing one of my front teeth, was enough, and I was on the hunt again. I have a very nice new dentist but his practice is a branded practice and his prices are way higher than my last dentist.
Alas. Change isn't easy.
Those pictures with your menfolk getting their hair cut are adorable, Jenn. I've had my primary care doc for thirty-three years and he's only a couple of years younger than me. So far he assures me he's not retiring, but we'll see. He's also a personal friend, and he and his wife came to my son's baby shower last month.
ReplyDeleteThe amazing hairdresser I had, the one responsible for suggesting a (slightly) more professional do after I started being published, wasn't going to use any protective measures during the pandemic, so I stopped going. I finally found someone in my town I can walk to, and she's fine, but she's not Ashley.
My hair salon closed after Covid. My dentist moved and my PCP moved and her replacement didn't speak English well, so I'm glad I moved out of state because my new medical professionals are great. I haven't found a hair salon yet, but I can manage cutting my very short hair myself.
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