Me Time.

 RHYS BOWEN: As most of you know, I'm finding myself more and more involved with my husband's health issues. He's 92, has had a bad fall and our lives seem to be dominated by doctor visits, picking up meds and deciding what he can eat. The problem is that I don't like to leave him for too long as he's a bit wobbly these days and won't use his walker or cane all the time.

A few days ago I had a mini-escape. My daughter Clare had spring break and we got a day pass to a local hotel pool.  We lay in the shade and read, stood in the chest deep pool and talked, sat in the hot tub and ordered lunch and a cocktail.  It was heavenly.

And it made me realize how important ME TIME is.

I'm wondering what other Reds and Reddies do when they want to escape, decompress and recharge? For me the pool is one of the most important. To lie in pleasantly warm water, weightless, looking up at palm trees, recharges me rapidly.  My favorite would be a beach. Just wandering along the edge of the waves, finding shells, watching sea birds brings me great peace and contentment. Alas Arizona is not near any ocean.  

When I am back in California I go to a little beach on the San Francisco Bay. It's called China Camp and was a settlement when the Chinese were driven out of the city a century ago. So a couple of old shacks and a perfect little cove.  It's only about fifteen minutes from my house. I buy a year pass and go whenever i need to get away and think. It's great for plotting out the next scene of a book or just letting my mind wander before I come back to real life.

What else do I do? I have regular massages. Love them. A spa day is a real treat. But I don't do many of the things my friends do to feel relaxed and special. Manicures? No. I have tried. I come out looking glamorous and in two days I've chipped half my nails.  I do like pedicures. It's fun to change toe nail colors in the summer.

Facials? I've tried. I lie there with pads on my eyes while soothing herbals blends are stroked into my skin and I think, "I must remember to get more eggs on the way home."  Or... In that scene I just wrote she shouldn't say she's angry.  I find myself writing to do lists. And begrudging the time all these substances on my face are taking.

I'm not good with meditation either. I try to relax and think of nothing.  Impossible. I try to picture myself floating on a cloud or lying on a calm ocean. And start writing the to do lists again, or rewriting my last chapter.

I've tried sound baths. They don't seem to work either.  Actually, now I think about it, the best way to relax is to have lunch with good friends. Lots of laughter, memories, encouragement. 

So what suggestions do you have for me at this moment? Quick little re-charge sessions?