The Art of Gift Receiving

 

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Jenn McKinlay: Well, we've survived yet another holiday season. Phew! And now it's time to reflect upon the insanity of the gift giving season.

There is no evidence, at least none that I’ve found, to support my theory that people spike the eggnog during the holidays to get through the arduous process of gift giving and receiving, but I’m pretty sure that’s why they do it. Okay, why I do it. Unless you’re a miserable curmudgeon who refuses to buy anyone any gift ever -- and here I pause to raise my nog to you -- odds are you’re going to have to confront the reality of living in consumer nation and pony up some gifts.

Children make it so easy. I like shopping for kids. You get an itemized list of what they want and if you have a real overachiever on your hands, they’ve already price checked the retailers and will give you a detailed map of the layout of the best store with arrows walking you right to the coveted item or even better a link to the online store. Teens are nice, too. You have to love their clear cut need and desire for cash. Nothing says “I love you” to them more clearly than the notification of a Venmo deposit to their account.

It’s adults who make the whole gifting venture dicey, and unless you’re lucky enough to have only people who collect troll dolls or beer cans on your list, you have now entered the dance of “Do you think they would like this or that or these?”, which is as painful and repetitive as an eighties dance party where they keep playing the Electric Slide.

Gift giving is great if you happen to be the sort of person who enjoys finding the perfect gift for everyone on your list and then revel in  wrapping it in festive paper, decorating it with a snazzy cloth ribbon that you tie yourself and finish the whole thing off with the gift tag you hand stamped. You know who you are, and I can’t even be mad at you for setting the bar too high for me to reach, because, yeah, you just gave me the perfect gift.

The rest of us poor saps struggle through the gifting ritual, and it’s not because we don’t care. We’re just truly flummoxed when we walk into a store and get a Three Stooges double-eye poke at all the sparkly gee-gaws in front of us. Honestly, if you’re not a shopper (and I'm not - unless we're talking bougie thrift, but that's another post), it’s a bit like being a diabetic in a candy store.

So, why is gift giving such an anxiety maker? I figured it out many years ago when I eavesdropped on a father talking to his five children in the Providence airport while traveling for Thanksgiving. Don’t judge me; it’s an occupational hazard…really. 

The dad said, “Last year we gave you everything you wanted and it was the worst Christmas ever. This year you get four things; something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read.” I wanted to go over and hug him for his genius, but I felt that might be awkward. Instead, I decided to implement his plan with my own hooligans.

It goes without saying that much debate ensued, as in “Isn’t something to wear and something you need the same thing?” For the record, no, it is not. That particular year, it turned out the much needed item was a duvet to cover up the rather well-loved Batman comforter that was too dear to be parted with but also too embarrassing to have on the bed anymore.

When one of my hooligans opened this “something you need” gift, I fully expected a bored look or a groan of disappointment. Instead, the boy went wide-eyed and said, “Oh, wow, I really needed this. Thank you so much!” He beamed at me, and I felt it all the way down to my toes. In that moment, I understood the responsibility of the gift receiver. It is that person who makes or breaks the entire gift giving deal.

Maybe you’re like me and gift giving makes you reach for the nog. That’s okay. You can excel in the art of gift receiving. Yes, this means you have to dig deep and be expressively pleased by all the gifts you receive even the ones where you’re not quite certain of what exactly it is. Yes, that has happened. Also, when you're gift bombed by an over-gifter. That, too, is a thing but also a post for another day because...oof!

And, sadly yes, you must express appreciation even for those passive-aggressive goodies, like gym memberships and self-help books for issues you don’t have. *SIGH* On the bright side, if the gift is well received, you can then re-gift their oh-so-thoughtful presents (because you loved it so much!) right back at them – on their birthday. Ha!

So, how about it Reds and Readers, are you a good gift giver, receiver, or are you just over the whole thing?