The Art of Gift Receiving

 

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Jenn McKinlay: Well, we've survived yet another holiday season. Phew! And now it's time to reflect upon the insanity of the gift giving season.

There is no evidence, at least none that I’ve found, to support my theory that people spike the eggnog during the holidays to get through the arduous process of gift giving and receiving, but I’m pretty sure that’s why they do it. Okay, why I do it. Unless you’re a miserable curmudgeon who refuses to buy anyone any gift ever -- and here I pause to raise my nog to you -- odds are you’re going to have to confront the reality of living in consumer nation and pony up some gifts.

Children make it so easy. I like shopping for kids. You get an itemized list of what they want and if you have a real overachiever on your hands, they’ve already price checked the retailers and will give you a detailed map of the layout of the best store with arrows walking you right to the coveted item or even better a link to the online store. Teens are nice, too. You have to love their clear cut need and desire for cash. Nothing says “I love you” to them more clearly than the notification of a Venmo deposit to their account.

It’s adults who make the whole gifting venture dicey, and unless you’re lucky enough to have only people who collect troll dolls or beer cans on your list, you have now entered the dance of “Do you think they would like this or that or these?”, which is as painful and repetitive as an eighties dance party where they keep playing the Electric Slide.

Gift giving is great if you happen to be the sort of person who enjoys finding the perfect gift for everyone on your list and then revel in  wrapping it in festive paper, decorating it with a snazzy cloth ribbon that you tie yourself and finish the whole thing off with the gift tag you hand stamped. You know who you are, and I can’t even be mad at you for setting the bar too high for me to reach, because, yeah, you just gave me the perfect gift.

The rest of us poor saps struggle through the gifting ritual, and it’s not because we don’t care. We’re just truly flummoxed when we walk into a store and get a Three Stooges double-eye poke at all the sparkly gee-gaws in front of us. Honestly, if you’re not a shopper (and I'm not - unless we're talking bougie thrift, but that's another post), it’s a bit like being a diabetic in a candy store.

So, why is gift giving such an anxiety maker? I figured it out many years ago when I eavesdropped on a father talking to his five children in the Providence airport while traveling for Thanksgiving. Don’t judge me; it’s an occupational hazard…really. 

The dad said, “Last year we gave you everything you wanted and it was the worst Christmas ever. This year you get four things; something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read.” I wanted to go over and hug him for his genius, but I felt that might be awkward. Instead, I decided to implement his plan with my own hooligans.

It goes without saying that much debate ensued, as in “Isn’t something to wear and something you need the same thing?” For the record, no, it is not. That particular year, it turned out the much needed item was a duvet to cover up the rather well-loved Batman comforter that was too dear to be parted with but also too embarrassing to have on the bed anymore.

When one of my hooligans opened this “something you need” gift, I fully expected a bored look or a groan of disappointment. Instead, the boy went wide-eyed and said, “Oh, wow, I really needed this. Thank you so much!” He beamed at me, and I felt it all the way down to my toes. In that moment, I understood the responsibility of the gift receiver. It is that person who makes or breaks the entire gift giving deal.

Maybe you’re like me and gift giving makes you reach for the nog. That’s okay. You can excel in the art of gift receiving. Yes, this means you have to dig deep and be expressively pleased by all the gifts you receive even the ones where you’re not quite certain of what exactly it is. Yes, that has happened. Also, when you're gift bombed by an over-gifter. That, too, is a thing but also a post for another day because...oof!

And, sadly yes, you must express appreciation even for those passive-aggressive goodies, like gym memberships and self-help books for issues you don’t have. *SIGH* On the bright side, if the gift is well received, you can then re-gift their oh-so-thoughtful presents (because you loved it so much!) right back at them – on their birthday. Ha!

So, how about it Reds and Readers, are you a good gift giver, receiver, or are you just over the whole thing?

Trending but not for me!

JENN McKINLAY: I try to stay on trend, I do. It used to be easy when I had teens in my house, keeping me apprised of the latest and greatest from streaming shows to social media platforms to newest flavors of candy. Now, in the empty nest, I have absolutely no idea what is happening! 

In an unsupervised and misguided effort to keep up with the latest “must watch” show, Hub and I stepped up for the first episode of Squid Game. We were left at the end of the first episode gaping at the TV and each other. What did we just watch, the anti-Ted Lasso? As Phoebe from Friends would yell, “Oh! My eyes!” 

Then, of course, there’s Tik Tok or Book Tok, whatever that is. This was my line in the sand for social media platforms. Not gonna do it, I kept saying. And I really haven’t. I’m what I call “present but absent”. I have an account. It’s posted exactly one video. I once fell into the rabbit hole of watching scores of people sing the same song over and over, dance the same moves over and over, and lost HOURS of my life. I can’t, y’all, I just can’t. 

Lastly, for the love of all that is sugar loaded and yummy, Hooligan 2 (fellow candy freak) brought me a bag of candy corn -- already controversial, I know, I still love it, don’t judge me -- that is flavored like a TURKEY DINNER! What heresy is this? Who thought this was a good idea? Is nothing sacred?

So, I find I am no longer on trend, or trending, and I’m okay with it. If losing hours of my life, eating terrible sweets, and emotionally scarring myself are required to keep me on point, well, I think I’d rather be dull.

What about you, Reds? What trends have hit lately that you are fine with letting pass you by?

HALLIE EPHRON: Candy corn that tastes like turkey dinner sounds completely disgusting. Anathema! 

Popsugar Review: HERE

The flavors: roasted turkey, green beans, glazed carrots, stuffing, cranberry sauce and sweet potato pie.

I have easily passed on Squid Game, though it’s amazing how many people have asked, “Are you watching it?” Followed by pulling a face and saying, “It’s SO violent.” Even before this terrible year I’d pass on anything “so violent.”

What seems to be passing me by are food trends. The newspaper recipe world has veered into super spicy and non meat. Good for the planet, for sure, but I am still figuring out tofu.

RHYS BOWEN:  I’ve never been one to follow trends since my heyday in the sixties when I was full on Mary Quant, Vidal Sasoon, Beatles and moving with the in crowd on Carnaby Street. Since then, not so much. And now I’m hardly aware of trends unless one of my grandkids rolls her eyes and says “On Nana!”

But I have been reading about Squid Game, and I have to say never in a hundred years would I want to watch something so horribly dark and violent. I’ve found as I have aged that I don’t tolerate violence well any more. I need movies with predictably happy endings, civilized people talking to each other--like Downton Abbey. I can handle tragedy with a story like that, but never senseless violence.

I’m not into food trends either. I have ventured into a couple--vertical food (ridiculous and not enough to eat) and that time when desserts came with balls of frozen nitrogen that made the plate smoke. But as for candy corn that tastes like a turkey dinner? I’m afraid our food will come to that one day soon when the earth runs out of real food. We’ll take a pill that tastes like something and then a spoonful of artificial protein and fillers. That will be a three course meal.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I think some trends are fun--that’s how we found Ted Lasso, and in the before times it was fun to talk about water cooler TV. Even silly things like American Idol, (which we totally did not know about until season two, that’s how on trend we are) can give people something fun to talk about. 

Clothing, though, I have to admit I monitor. Skinny jeans out, boyfriend jeans in. Very very short skirts, now,  or very very long. (But who cares, really, when I just wear yoga pants. And wow, have you seen the new clothing? I think they are making those prairie dress things in case people gained weight in lockdown.)

Food? I read the food trend things, and then think--I don’t HAVE any of those ingredients, and whatever, it doesn't even sound good. 

And I am laughing about TikTok. Many a day a colleague has sung its praises, and staunchly declared the necessity. I say it's spinach, and I say to hell with it. 

Finally, I think we can say that anything that tastes like anything else makes me wonder why you wouldn't just eat the real thing. But--i’d try a turkey candy corn one, just to see. Turkey-taste couldn't make candy corn taste any worse!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Thank you, Jenn! Now I know two trends I'm happy to let pass me by--turkey-flavored candy corn and Squid Game. Actually, I did know about Squid Game but was so not tempted. I'm not sure I was ever trendy even at my hippest. Now, for clothes trends, I rely on my friend who follows fashion, and my daughter, who I think would tell me if I wore something totally awful (but maybe she wouldn't/hasn't? That's a scary thought.

LUCY BURDETTE: I will definitely pass on that candy corn and Squid Games too. A friend’s daughter-in-law said no one in television will buy a normal concept because they are looking for the next SG. I asked: what will the older people watch? She said: TV has always aimed at the 18 to 34 age bracket. Sigh.

Tiktok, no. I can’t keep up with what I have now! If I didn’t have a good clothing store in the next town, I’d have no idea what to wear. She helps me choose things that are modern and look good on me, without being so trendy I can’t wear them next month. And yes on the yoga pants anyway! And Hallie, I love tofu but John puts his foot down so I don’t serve it. I order it if I’m out and it sounds delish.

What about you, Readers? Are on trend or happily letting them pass you by?