Is There Such a Thing as TOO SAD?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: I flew from Boston to Phoenix to Boston in 24 hours last week, which was so much fun (I saw Rhys and Jenn, too!). But on the flight back,  I was fidgety. Trying to read, but nothing seemed good.  So I flipped though what I'd downloaded on my phone, and found a book Roberta had recommended, The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry.  Okay, I thought. Now's the time.

I started reading. I was enchanted. SO sweet, and so clever, and so literary, and sometimes I laughed out loud. Then, the moment came. I got to 61 per cent in the book, and thought--UH OH.  This is gonna be SAD.  And...I stopped reading it. I cannot read sad things, I simply can't, and if I do, I wind up upset for days. So don't tell me what happens, because of course, I could be wrong.  But I don't want to find out. 

I can't watch sad movies, either. I have not seen Beaches, or Steel Magnolias, or Fried Green Tomatoes, or..well, you name the sad movie, I have not seen it. Schindler's List? Oh, dear, no. Life is  Beautiful? Forget it. Up?  No, no no.  I cry so hard, and then my face gets puffy, and then I have to go to sleep, and the next day I have residual sadness. 

How about you Reds and readers? How do you feel about deliberately making yourself sad? (Or is that the wrong way to put it?)  What's the "best" sad movie you've ever seen? 

HALLIE EPHRON: But Hank, you love Game of Thrones?!?! Seriously, you don't like sad endings??

HANK:  Huh. I don't think Games of Thrones is sad. Hardly at all. Huh. It's high-stakes, and high-stress. And violent. But sad?  Only...once or twice, and then not REALLY sad. Anyway. 

HALLIE: I confess to jumping to the end when the tension is just too great and I can't stand what looks like is going to happen. And when people ask me about my books I ALWAYS reassure them that I never kill children. 

Best sad movie I've seen (recently) was Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl.The premise, the performances, the characters (sweet geeky high school losers). Divine.

JENN McKINLAY: I don't do sad. Period. But, yes, I love Game of Thrones because, well, not to be shallow but Jon Snow. 

Forest Gump had me curled up in a fetal position sobbing for two days. It was unpleasant. 

One of my biggest challenges as a writer is my inability to torture my characters. I am much more comfortable with a snappy one liner during an anguish filled scene and move along, folks, nothing to see here. I am working on it. *Sigh* But, yeah, I don't do sad. I avoid it at all cost because, honestly, isn't life tough enough? Plus my nose gets really, really red and I look like a drinker.

INGRID THOFT: I’m okay with sad, although I don’t seek it out, but I definitely don’t do manipulative.  You know, when you can see the sad coming from a mile away, and you feel like you’ve been used a little bit?  Like the writer or filmmaker pushed the “easy button” on your heart?  I really don’t like that.  


Also, I have never recovered from the scene in “Terms of Endearment” in which Shirley MacLaine bangs on the nurses’ station begging them to give Debra Winger more pain meds.  Debra may have been dying, but that scene killed me.  That was 35 years ago, and it still upsets me! 

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Right now, I am all about the anti-sad. I'm reading Regency romances (always a happy ending) and watching Hallmark Holiday movies (yes, still!) Normally, however, I like a certain kind of sad. Death of children? No. Cruelty of mankind? Absolutely not. I saw SCHINDLER'S LIST once, and it was an amazing, praiseworthy film, but I'm never going to see it again.

On the other hand, I love noble self-sacrifice. Love that Cannot Be. For instance, I adore the movie version of BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY (the book is dreadful.) I'm like, "Oh, no! They love each other! But they can't ever be together!" Copious tears. And I do love the George RR Martin books, even though beloved characters die all the time. Maybe because I never feel, as Ingrid said, used a little bit. They don't die because the author is manipulating your feelings, they die because they inhabit a violent world where there are no deus ex machinas to make things come out all right.

LUCY BURDETTE: I totally have that same scene imprinted in my brain for life, Ingrid. Shirley MacLaine was brilliant there. I don't go looking for sad, but I can take it if something comes out of it. Like the ending of AJ FIKRY was a good ending that emerged from the sad. But I can't do relentlessly grim or scary. There's too much of that on the news. 

Julia, read Kristan Higgins's books. Just what the doctor ordered!

HANK: Yes, yes, Kristan's book will cure any sorrows. (And our Jenn's of course.) 

RHYS BOWEN: When I was young I used to wallow in sad. Little Women and Beth dying. A little Princess. Loved all that sort of stuff. Now I'm old and wise and I know that the world is not fair and takes what we love from us I find it hard to watch anything too sad. I did love It's A Beautiful Life because it was actually so life affirming. I couldn't see Schindler's List. When I saw Out of Africa I came out with tears streaming down my face. Not because Dennis Finch Hatton had died and Karen Blitzen's dreams had been crushed but because I would never have that great and overpowering romance in my life!  

I find that recently I am very picky what I choose to watch at the movies. I have to know I can handle it before I go. And it has to end well!

DEBORAH CROMBIE: I don't do sad nearly as well as I did when I was younger. Oh, my, I loved sobbing my way through OUT OF AFRICA, and THE ENGLISH PATIENT was my favorite movie for a couple of years. Now I don't know how I watched it, although I still listen to the soundtrack. 

And SHADOWLANDS, did anyone see that, about C.S. Lewis's wife dying? But people are so funny. Rick absolutely HATED Shadowlands. But he LOVES City of Angels, and we will rewatch it. I cannot.

These days, however, I don't know if it's age or the state of the world, but I pretty much want to know that things are going to turn out okay, or at least sort of okay, before I invest my time in a movie.

HANK: Yes, people will say to me, "oh, I don't want to ruin the movie/book/TV show for you by telling you the ending."  And I say--TELL ME. I can handle it better if I am prepared. 

(And did you notice? Two Debra Winger movies, and two of Meryl's? Hmm.)

What about you, reds and readers? Do you do sad? What's the saddest  movie/book/TV show ever? And are you happy (!) you experienced it?

JR's Very Unscientific Cure for SAD

DEBORAH CROMBIE: It's the middle of January. Christmas is so over. We've returned the things that didn't fit. Spent our gift certificates. The catalogs filled with lovely, sparkly things are in the recycle bin, and now our mailboxes are stuffed with credit card bills.

We've made our New Year's resolutions, and for they most part they've been the usual dreary stuff--eat less, go to the gym, give up this or that or the next thing.

Dark days ahead, indeed, at least for the next couple of months. (And yes, I do know that those of you who live in northern parts, especially Alaska with your record snows, are snickering at the idea of a Texan complaining about winter. But hey, it's our winter and we are entitled to our own degree of misery.)

So we here at Jungle Red felt OBLIGATED to come up with a few things that would actually make our readers want to draw every last drop of goodness from the long, cold months to come.

My list: First and always, BOOKS. Short days and long nights equal more reading. And then, almost as blissful, there's more Downton Abbey to look forward to, and a new Sherlock Holmes series! (And I guiltily admit that I will probably give in and watch the new season of American Idol. I always say I won't, but then I have to see what on earth Steven Tyler is going to wear. Or say ... And whether there is anyone who can actually sing.)

I'm throwing in SOUP. I love soup. I could eat soup every day, but am less inclined to make it once the temps start climbing, so winter is soup season for me (even if I can't bring myself to boil Hallie's lobsters.)

Hot chocolate.

Movies in front of the fire.

Crisp walks with the dog (that don't have to be taken before eight in the morning, which is the summer rule.)

And sun. I know we've promised not to be scientific, and there's lots of research that tells us why it's so important to get some sunlight every day. But from a purely personal perspective, if I can grab a half hour sitting in a patch of sunshine on my deck on a clear winter day, I feel about a hundred times better. Now I understand why the English are so crazy about conservatories. (Every proper English house should have a conservatory. Just look at the English home decorating magazines. Every other ad is for custom-built conservatories. The other half are for very expensive kitchen furniture.)

I could add looking at English decorating magazines to my list, but will let the other JRs have a go!

More reasons not to be SAD:

LUCY BURDETTE: You see, I have a mid-January birthday so there's a little excitement generated from that. But books books books is the main thing (and not just the launch of my new series:). Very excited about Deb's new one coming up. And I have a fabulous stack on my nightstand. And the University of Connecticut women's basketball. Oh, I am crazy about watching those young women play. And the UConn men too, but the women even more.

RHYS BOWEN: So far it's been warm and sunny in both California and Arizona. Now I'm back in CA and the temperature has dropped, making me think winter for the first time. (Yes, I know California winter isn't anything like New England but it feels cold to me.) So here's what I love: A fire crackling in the fireplace. Family sitting and laughing around the table. Reading a book while wrapped in a rug, sipping hot chocolate or a herb tea. Good music on the stereo. Knitting while watching the Australian Open on TV. Painting, sketching. I also love soups--thick and hearty. And the Acacia tree in the front yard is about to flower--the first sign that spring is around the corner.

HALLIE EPHRON: Rhys, I'd love to hear more about your painting. A future blog? With pictures?? My only non-word past-time is cooking. Oh yeah, and eating.

Winter. Actually I don't mind it so much in January. (It's March when I really get sick to death of it.) And the days are getting noticeably longer -- yesterday at 4:00 it was still light out. On the down side, it's getting COLDER (8 degrees yesterday morning).

My remedies: Yes soup! Last night chicken vegetable from the leftovers of a roast chicken. Left over leftovers for lunch today. Appreciating the stars in a winter sky -- when it's really cold the night sky is gorgeous. Drinking sherry before dinner. Sleeping under piles of blankets and not getting woken up by early sun.

Hot baths. We have a big old bathtub that we just had resurfaced in our never-upgraded 1920s bathroom. It's my favorite piece of furniture in the house, if you can count a bathtub as furniture.

Best of all: time to write. January and February are blessedly slow months for me in terms of events and I'm on a tear.

JAN BROGAN: I agree with Hallie, January and February are usually my most productive months. And to be truthful, winter has been so mild compared to last year that I don't even feel like I need a remedy. But home-made soup -- I made a killer Portuguese Kale soup last week - and a crackling fireplace are definitely at the top of my list. Perhaps reading by the fireplace is at the tippy top. And right now I'm reading Moby Dick for the first time and am shocked that I am crazy about it.

The best part of winter? I love those days that are so cold and so snowy that you feel completely justified not going outdoors all day. Completely housebound. That's what I New Englander I've become. And then there is Downton Abbey and Doc Martin, so really, who needs summer?

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, great idea! Let's see.
I won't mention shopping. But there are a lot of sales right now. And I have a new purse which was 1. on sale and 2. I had POINTS and as a result, the purse was free. Free! Now THAT is shopping.

I won't mention football, but it's a fun time to be from New England.

Birthdays! My husband's birthday is this month. (And my step-grandson Eli, who is so clever that he figured out Jonathan is eight times older than he is. Is that weird, or what?) And it makes me think about birthdays..we celebrate them-because it means we are glad that person was born. Right? So that is SO nice.

Watching the snow, through the moonlight, from cozy inside. I ask you.

Counting blessings. Always a good thing.

DEBS: Lucy, for someone who just wrote a book about rowing, I can't believe I left out sports! Soup, yes, Hallie! I'm roasting a chicken next week and am going to make your chicken soup. (I think, by the way, that when we give our Edwardian dinner party, that Hallie should be in charge of the menu...) And bathtubs--we have old roll top tubs. Heaven when it's cold, once you get the blasted cast iron warm. Rhys, I want to hear more about your painting, too. Jan, thanks for reminding me about Doc Martin. And I've never read Moby Dick, I blush to admit. Another book for the TBR. Hank, I love the image of moonlight on snow.

And counting blessings.

It was 75 degrees here in Texas the last couple of days. Blissful winter weather, right? Then, last night, the low was 27. I'm going to add quilts and my down comforter to my list, a few snuggly dogs and cats, and buy a good bottle of sherry to sip before dinner.

What about you, our friends and readers? How do you combat the winter blues?

On Reading with Robin

Jan: I first met Robin Kall when I was working on A Confidential Source, and I needed some background on talk radio. Robin got me into the studio at WHJJ, introduced me to Rhode Island's celebrity talk show hosts and then not much later, wound up with her own talk radio show. Now, her show has been on 920AM WHJJ for almost NINE years. Even at the early hour of 7 to 8 a.m. Saturday mornings, it's still one of the state's top rated talk shows, and it lives streams at www.920whjj.com.

Robin now authors a "Well-Read" column every Tuesday on www.golocalprov.com in the lifestyles section, where she suggests book titles and takes on all sorts of topics like book clubs, book lending, e-books, and summer reading. As far as I'm concerned, she will always be the LAST WORD on reading.

I asked her just how many books publishers and publicists send her and whether it ever becomes a burden?

ROBIN: I receive about twenty books a week between what comes to the station and to my home. And burden?? Never. It's so much fun to open those cardboard mailers from the publishers to see what's inside.

JAN: How do you choose which book to talk about or review?

ROBIN: If something looks interesting - for example, if it's a debut novel, and it's a reputable publisher, or if it has blurbs from authors I like, or if its a compelling non-fiction topic, something new and relevant - I will consider it for the program even when I'm booked. Usually, though, the program is already filled with interviews of author of books I've requested. As I only have the one hour a week sometimes it's impossible to review all of the books I'm interested in.

To handle some of the overflow -- books I like but can't fit into the radio program -- I will sometimes tape a segment during the week and put it up on my site. The site gets lots of hits, so as much as I enjoy a live interview on a saturday morning, the web site is another place to showcase the authors that I want to share with my audience. (plus no commercials!)

JAN: From your perspective, what's the craziest thing about the book biz?

ROBIN: It still amazes me when certain titles are sent to me. Books I rarely feature on my show, sports-oriented books, or politics, war books, big international spy thrillers. It's obvious that they are being sent out blind which is shocking at a time when we're hearing about how tough the business is and the ways that the publishers are cutting costs. These books are often the ones that come Fed Ex.I think I just found a way for the industry to save some money. Regular mail. Book rate even!

JAN: Recently Robin, you interviewed people to find out why they read: What was the answer?

ROBIN: Pure entertainment. people want to sit down with a great book and be totally immersed in its story. I did get a few of those 'escape into someone else's life for a bit' answers, but for the most part people enjoy their favorite books for the page-turning fun!

JAN: After hosting a reading radio program for nine years, why do you think people continue to read when they could be watching movies or YOUTUBE or reality TV all day long?

ROBIN: Good point. there are so many ways we can distract ourselves and still those same 24 hours in each day. With all of these other things competing for our time, and the list continuing to grow, I think people who enjoy reading will only put up with youtube,reality tv to keep current. It's not where they will turn for the most part. I place movie in another category. I've found that readers are usually movie watchers.(good movies.)

JAN: From your show, do you notice any trends in reading?

ROBIN:It seems like every book I read has dust motes in it. And some character is always padding down the hall for a steaming mug of coffee. And there's been an awful lot of books with Tiger in the title. Tiger Mom, Tiger Woods/Swinger. Tiger Wife. Tiger, Tiger. Or every book title is about someone's daughter, or someone's keeper, or someone's wife.

In terms of the big e-reader trend, I haven't joined in yet, but of course we cannot ignore its popularity. Many of the book people I know are using them in conjunction with not instead of books. Recently, my aunt noted that riding on the train with her e-reader there was nowhere to place her train stub...not something i would have thought of, but books serve so many purposes!

JAN: Do you think people read more in the summer and why?

ROBIN: There is so much talk about 'summer reading' and I'm not certain there is really more reading going on in the summer. it might be a marketing thing...the long lazy days of summer in this 24/7 world of ours might at this point be folklore, but I like to think of summer reading as a state of mind. when a chunk of time is set aside to simply derive pleasure from turning the pages one after the other with not so much as glancing at a clock. if done at beach,in hammock or that type of setting even better!

Check out Robin's website at www.readingwithrobin.com

And come back tomorrow when guest bloggers and private eyes, Colleen Collins and Shaun Kaufman explain how to find important clues in the trash.

By Colleen Collins & Shaun Kaufman

Costumes we covet...

HALLIE: This week, the incredible collection of iconic movie costumes that Debbie Reynolds had collected over a lifetime went on the auction block. Marilyn Monroe's white dress--the one from Seven Year Itch with the pleated skirt, billowing in a gust of air from a subway grating--went for a record $5.6 million.

"Oh do you feel the breeze from the subway? Isn't it delicious," MM said in the movie. Supposedly her then husband (Joe DiMaggio?) looked on, seething in stony silence.

I love this photo of Debbie (I still think of her as Tammy) with a poster and two costumes from her collection. So sad that the collection had to be liquidated to pay creditors.

Reading abut the auction got me thinking about my favorite costumes from stage and screen. Here are some I'd love to have collected.

Do you know them ? Did I pick ones you remember? What other costumes you covet??

(Could you identify them all? I posted a Who's Who in the first comment!)

Tagged #5

HANK: Okay, I'm "it" now. SO here are my seven things. And, then, to complete our assigned task--we get to tag seven more people to tell all. I have a lot more things I could tell. But I only get seven. Lucky you.

1. I'm probably a workaholic. I never take all the vacation days I'm allotted. I think about work--TV reporter and writing my books--much more than I think about anything else. Sometimes I'll realize I've just stopped talking in the middle of a conversation, because something gave me a good idea, and I'm suddenly in another world.

2. I'm ridiculously competitive and I like to win. Charades, Monopoly, Celebrity, Trivial Pursuit. I won't play Scrabble with my husband any more, because he beats me. I almost got all the badges in Girl Scouts, but I couldn't figure out a way to get "Beekeeper"without being around bees. It was all I could do to let my 4 and a half year old grandson beat me at Fish. And even then I thought Eli should learn about losing. I even like to take standardized tests.

3. I stink at sports. You name it, I stink at it. Tennis. Skiing. Softball. Swimming. Whatever other stuff people all do. I'm terrible. (This is where my competitive streak disappears.) Okay, I'm a pretty good softball pitcher, but I can't bat or catch. Not much call for such specialized playing.

4. I kind of do have, um, ESP. From time to time. Or whatever you call it. I saved someone's life when they tried to kill themselves. I was home. I sat up and thought, oh no. He's in trouble. I called. No answer. I beeped. No answer. I called a neighbor. They called the ambulance. He had taken an overdose of sleeping pills. Another time I had a boyfriend. I was home. He was at his house. I thought: oh no. I called him. No answer. I called his sister. He had been taken to the hospital with a ruptured appendix.
Less dramatic stuff happens all the time. But not always.

5. I can wake myself up at any time with some sort of internal alarm clock. I don't totally rely on it because you never know when this kind of thing is going to stop working. But if I tell myself: I'm going to sleep now, I want to wake up at 7:35 in the morning, I will. On the dot.

6. I'm kind of superstitious about some things. Walking under a ladder, why do it? Throwing spilled salt, why not? Rabbit rabbit, yup. Hat on bed? nope. I kind of like Friday the 13th though. Plus, I believe in life on other planets. And possibly time travel.

7. I don't go to sad movies. I haven't seen Steel Magnolias, or Beaches, or Terms of Endearment. I start crying instantly, within ten minutes, because it's so clear to me what the ending is destined to be. The first movie my husband and I saw together was Sling Blade. Which I hadn't known was touching and emotional.
Few minutes in, I started sniffling. It was obvious this movie was on the path to be devastating. My husband-to-be leaned over and said--"do you have a cold?"
I whispered, "No, I'm crying."
He was baffled. "It's not sad," he said.
"I know," I replied. "But it's going to be sad."


NOW! Nancy Pickard tagged us. So that means we can do it, too. Jungle Red writers tag:

The Femmes Fatales http://femmesfatales.typepad.com/
The Plot Monkeys http://plotmonkeys.com/
Poe's Deadly Daughters http://www.poesdeadlydaughters.blogspot.com/
Cathy Cairns http://catherinecairns.com/blog/
Robin Agnew http://heydeadguy.typepad.com/heydeadguy/

You guys are it. And lest you forget, here are the "rules."

1) Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.

2) Share 7 facts about yourself.

3) Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

4) Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

(Okay, I'll admit it. I was actually kind of fun.)

Did any of us surprise you?