1. She's traveled widely around the world and I can guarantee she knows where Aleppo is.
2. Mom is terrific at balancing budgets. She's single-handedly grown her and Dad's investments from the pauper's mite to a sum suitable for a comfortable retirement through smart investment and money management. As president, she will personally call everyone in America and remind them that putting the maximum in their 401(k) is getting free money, and why would you leave that on the table?
|Supports cultural exchange with visitors to the US|
4. Mom will cut through the congressional impasse. She has been both a Republican and a Democrat, so she knows the score on both sides. She will call recalcitrant congressmen into her office and tell them she is Very Disappointed In Them. If this doesn't work, she will give them That Look, perhaps combined with the The Shoulder Pinch (which looks like a hand laid on the shoulder but really says You're going to get it when I get you back to the Oval Office.)
|Strong supporter of the elderly|
6. Mom is completely transparent with her emails, often cc:ing them to several of her children at once. Instead of setting up a private server, she will have the government use AOL.com, which is what she and Dad use now. After all, it is America on line.
7. In an average day, Mom will fit in a long walk, cut out a newspaper's worth of coupons, bake a dish for the Community Center dinner, set up the parish hall for the White Elephant sale the next day and attend a book group meeting. She has the stamina to be president.
8. A woman of education and refinement, Mom will never utter the phases "grab her by the p?$$y" or "Anthony Weiner's d!#k." In fact, she won't call Anthony Weiner by his name at all. She'll refer to him as That man. You'll know who she's talking about.
|Understands blue collar workers|
10. If elected, Mom will have the most low-key First Spouse ever. Dad will spend his time in the White House designing virtual train sets and crafting miniatures. He does like drones, so we may have to watch that.
11. With an extended family that has straight, gay, white, African-American, Hispanic, Muslim, Roman Catholic and Presbyterian members, Mom is a living part of the Rainbow Generation. Also, she really likes Laverne Cox in Orange is the New Black. Mom knows "political correctness" is just good old-fashioned politeness. Why on earth wouldn't you call someone what they prefer to be called?
In conclusion, I believe my mom is exactly what this country needs in these troubled times. If you agree, I hope you'll write in Lois Fleming for president. Go ahead and put that young up-and-comer, Hillary Clinton, on the ticket, too. Mom would like that.