HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: A few weeks ago in this space we were talking about the quirks our husbands have, and it was funny, wasn't it? The husbands who fight with the GPS, or can't find anything, or leave socks on the floor. But if you read domestic suspense, the tensions come from far more than those adorable quirks. Sometimes--well, all the time--Domestic suspense thrillers wind up with deception betrayal gaslighting and even... murder.
We know what we're getting the moment we open to the first chapter... So what is it about those books that lures us to continue? Here's the perfect person to tell us: Ellie Monago is a thriller writer --and also a couples therapist! See if you agree with her.
And hurray—she’s doing a big giveaway!
Why can’t we look away from a marital train wreck?
By Ellie Monago
A quick disclaimer: I’m not just a thriller writer; I’m also a couples therapist. So I’m both compelled and paid to keep relationships together, not tear people apart. But what I do in my spare time is my own business, right?
All kidding aside, I do love love. More than that, I love the hard work of love—meaning, helping people find a way to soldier on through hard times and recapture the connection that brought them together. To me, there’s nothing more romantic than people rediscovering one another when they’re no longer so starry-eyed and pheromone-addled. Choosing someone all over again, many tumultuous (or mundane) years later, knowing all you now know about them and about yourself? That’s inspiring.
But I have to admit, there’s nothing as fascinating as watching two people go at each other intensely. Pretty much no one can make you as furious as the one who shares your bed night after night. And while my job as a therapist is to intervene and turn the tides, in my work as a writer I’m there to drop a match in the kindling of all the resentments and unmet needs. I know that my readers want a wildfire.
It’s no accident that romance and domestic thrillers are both so popular (Colleen Hoover, after all, writes both.) Those genres are two sides of the same coin. We want to read about people finding each other and, later, needing to lose each other under very adrenalized circumstances.
My theory is that it’s affirming and hopeful to know that true love is possible and is, in fact, occurring every day (especially if we’re single) and that perfect love is a fantasy (especially if we’re married.) There are obstacles to getting together and then there are obstacles to staying together. In domestic thrillers, those obstacles aren’t just growing apart or the inevitable passage of time or that you initially chose wrong for a myriad of entirely innocuous reasons.
No, it has to be more intricate and intriguing than that, or why read (or write) at all? The spouse must be capable of far more duplicitous and nefarious acts than ever could have been imagined at the outset. No breakup can be as simple as, “This just isn’t working anymore.”
In real life, it’s often that simple, and that devastating. So we want something racier from our fiction.
We might also want schadenfreude, to take some pleasure in the misfortune of those who seem all too fortunate. After all, why else are the couples in domestic thrillers so deceptively perfect?
In my new novel THE CUSTODY BATTLE, Greg and Madeline are one of those couples: gorgeous, accomplished, and envied. But once the divorce proceedings start, they’re a train wreck waiting to happen, and you might find it hard to look away. At least, I hope you will.
I’ll be giving away three e-books of THE CUSTODY BATTLE, randomly chosen from those who comment below and sign up for my newsletter on my Bookouture author page:
https://bookouture.com/authors/ellie-monago-423/
So what are your favorite marital train wreck thrillers?
HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Ohhh, so many good ones! Rebecca, of course, and Liv Constantine’s The Last Mrs. Parrish. Lisa Gardner terrified us all with The Perfect Husband. I got into the game with THE MURDER LIST and THE HOUSE GUEST. And I know all you Reds and Readers can think of more!
Ellie Monago is a novelist and practicing therapist who was living in the San Francisco Bay Area and now resides in Canada with her family.
THE CUSTODY BATTLE
Attractive and affluent, Greg and Madeline have everything - problem is, Madeline no longer wants Greg. In this impeccably plotted and smart suspense, a brutal custody battle drives someone to murder. Dark and totally addictive, this is a story about a family tearing itself apart in each parent's struggle to survive.
Marital train wrecks? Oh, I do enjoy these stories . . . Hank's "Murder List" is one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteYour book sounds quite intriguing, Ellie; I'm looking forward to discovering who gets custody . . . .
Awwww Thank you, dear friend! I have to tell you, I was not sure whether that marriage could be saved as I started writing that book… Just like life, right?
DeleteAnd I signed up for Ellie's newsletter . . . .
DeleteI agree, "Murder List" is fantastic! Thanks so much, Joan! I think there are some surprises in store for you in terms of who "wins" this battle.
DeleteI'm wondering, Ellie, was it a surprise to you about who "won"?
DeleteAlas, no, I knew the winners and losers from the beginning. I'm a plotter and tend to map out all the scenes ahead of time. That being said, sometimes what my characters say and do in a given scene is an enjoyable surprise (enjoyable for me; not necessarily for them.)
DeleteOh, lucky and brilliant you with an outline! How long does it take you to write it?
DeleteThe more detailed the outline, the less time the first draft tends to take. I've noticed that with each book, I do more outlining and quicker drafts. For "The Custody Battle", I think it was about three months from concept to completed first draft. With this method, I'm able to do less revising because I share the detailed outline with my editor for feedback before I settle in to write.
DeleteAnd I wonder how many of us reds and readers remember the column in Readers Digest: “can this marriage be saved?” Anyone know if that still exists? I absolutely devoured it.
ReplyDeleteI remember it! I have no idea if it still exists. I doubt it since a quick Google search turned up everything but. I devoured it, too!
DeleteIt was in Lady's Home Journal, Hank. Long gone, alas.
DeleteOhhhhh it was in ladies home journal? Even better… I can just picture the readers comparing their own situation to the ones in that magazine. Such a different time. Or was it?
DeleteKaren, is Ladies’ Home Journal really gone? I didn’t read it very often, but it’s sort of a touchstone for me to my late mother. So many of the print magazines are gone now. Sigh… — Pat S
DeleteEllie Monago
DeleteNot sure why my comment above was my own name--I swear I'm not a narcissist! Anyway, I see that the column is no more but there is an anthology available (or I think it's still available, though it is from 1994:) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1019224.Can_This_Marriage_Be_Saved_
DeleteCongrats Ellie! Do you get inspiration from your clients' situations?
ReplyDeleteP.S. was it just me or did others have trouble getting JRW this morning?
I didn't see a post until a few minutes ago - not just you.
DeleteReally? I blame sunspots. Xx
DeleteWhile those clients' situations were hardly inspiring in the sense of aspirational, they were definitely cautionary tales. And I think a lot of good domestic suspense serves as a cautionary tale.
DeleteTrue!
DeleteA marriage falling apart is like watching any other disaster. It's awful - but it draws the eye if only in the "I can't believe this is happening" sense.
ReplyDeleteThe book sounds wonderful, Ellie. I'd have to say Hank's THE MURDER LIST is also at the top of my list.
Oh, that is so kind of you! Someday we should talk about how differently that book turned out than it began!
DeleteThanks, Liz! I hope you enjoy it (and I'd love to hear your response, even if you have some critiques. I'm always learning for future books!) You can contact me at elliemonago@gmail.com or through Goodreads.
DeleteWelcome, Ellie. You must have SO much material for your fiction! The new book sounds fabulous.
ReplyDeleteI'm one who has been through couples counseling that couldn't save my marriage (for many reasons), but at least we were in agreement about our two sons and made it work as best we could for them. And I am much happier now with someone else, and have been for twenty years!
perhaps the counseling helped you be in agreement about your two sons? Diana
DeleteYou are very brave and wise! And all we can do is try.
DeleteI'm glad that ultimately it's all worked out for you, Edith. I really believe that there are two good outcomes to couples therapy: you have a stronger marriage, or you leave on respectful terms that allow you to find a new relationship that's a better fit.
DeleteYes, true..it might take away a lot of "what ifs..."
DeleteI've recently begun reading domestic suspense. Looking forward to The Custody Battle!
ReplyDeleteI remember the Can This Marriage be Saved column. Don't remember if it was in McCall's or Reader's Digest! Used to wonder how couples let things get that bad. I was young.
So agree about being young! There’s just so much that is not settled about one’s own personality and passions.
DeleteIn some ways, when you get together young, it can seem like sheer luck if you end up growing in the same directions (i.e. your personalities and passions, as Hank said.) I think temperament is largely set from birth but the rest can careen wildly.
DeleteIt is crazy how quickly love can turn to hate and great fodder for a mystery novel. I think many of us have seen friends or family go through a break up and the violence of the emotions can be startling. It must be so strange for both people- like when you move out of a house. Yesterday I was welcome there, I could just walk through the door. Today I am an outsider with no rights. And of course that hurt can lead to murder which is delicious in novels but horrible in real life.
ReplyDeleteYes, it’s that “perfect for novels” state of disequilibrium, where everything one thinks is true and write suddenly vanishes – – and you were forced to regroup. Do you manage, or do you… Snap?
DeleteI think you're spot on, Clare. I love that phrase: "the violence of the emotions can be startling." I think domestic suspense should tap into that sense that we've been transformed by an experience, that we're briefly turned into someone we don't recognize. There's something universal in that. We've all have moments where we've been in pain or under profound stress and have behaved in ways that are out of character.
DeleteIntriguing concept, Ellie! Is writing domestic suspense a good antidote to your day job? A way to work out some issues that real people resist, maybe? Counseling helped our marriage a lot, and it only took four sessions for us to have a 180-degree shift. A miracle, really. We would not have just celebrated our 42nd without it.
ReplyDeleteI also read Can This Marriage be Saved, but I think it was in Lady's Home Journal, Kait. Gosh, that was a long time ago now. Pre-Jerry Springer, et al, and a lot more civilized.
Gone Girl. The Pilot's Wife. And yes, the Murder List!
Yes, everyone is agreeing it was ladies home journal… I am going to Google it, too, and see if I can find it. So much a mark of the time that LHJ was even the name of the magazine, right?
DeleteI was thinking the same thing, Hank. It's easy to understand when you learn, as I did, that LHJ started in 1883! No wonder it's long gone.
DeleteHi, Karen! Yes, writing is the perfect counterpart to therapy. It lets me write the ending whereas in therapy, I have substantially less control. But I do my best and I've seen clients make those 180 degree shifts you're talking about and it's really exhilarating. So glad you had that kind of success!
Delete1883! Yikes.
DeleteFascinating, Ellie. I agree: "it’s affirming and hopeful to know that true love is possible" - It's also hard to look away when a relationship implodes. My favorite FICTIONAL version of this is the play/movie "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf." And I'm dying to read the (nonfiction) book that just came out about the fiiming of the movie and how it tapped into the toxic relationship between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. (And boy do I remember that column, Can This Marriage Be Saved. But I thought it was in McCalls or Redbook.)
ReplyDeleteYes! I remember the column "Can this Marriage Be Saved?" in one of the ladies' magazines.
DeleteDiana
I was thinking Ladies Home Journal, but it was a good while ago so I could be wrong. It was fascinating, no matter where it was.
DeleteI think it was LHJ - Hallie
DeleteI didn't know about the nonfiction book! I'll have to check that out. Taylor and Burton are the ultimate "love hard/fight hard" couple, aren't they?
DeleteOh, yes, so fascinating! I'd love to have watched them..the sparks!
DeleteELLIE: Welcome to Jungle Red Writers. At first, I thought you were the author of the Finlay Donovan series. Great question.
ReplyDeleteThough I am Not a fan of Marital Train Wrecks, I loved Hank's THE MURDER LIST snd THE HOUSE GUEST. There was also another author. I think Agatha Christie had some novels about marital train wrecks that were great. I forgot which Miss Marple story it was. The story was about a seemingly nice couple and Miss Marple KNEW that the husband was going to kill his wife. Miss Marple tried to warn the wife but she would not listen to her. There was a hint of Domestic Abuse in the story.
On another note, I stayed up last night reading Rhys Bowen and Clare Broyles' IN SUNSHINE OR IN SHADOW mystery. So good!
Diana
I never thought of Agatha Christie in that way since her writing is so mannered (like the train wreck is the murder and it happens off-screen.) But I haven't read her in many years so maybe I should revisit.
DeleteOhhhh I just tried to figure out which Christie that was..and almost fell down the research rabbit hole. Luckily, I stopped myself! Anyone know?
DeleteEllie, you are in for a treat.
DeleteHank, I do not think it was NEMESIS. I think it may have been a short story in a collection of Miss Marple anthology?
Diana
It's A CHRISTMAS TRAGEDY.
DeleteYou all are the best! Much better than google! xx
DeleteSounds like a winner, Ellie! I'm sure I've enjoyed many domestic thrillers, but for the life of me I cannot think of any titles, except for the great ones already mentioned.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Judi! I want to give a shout-out to a literary novel that's one of my favorite marital train wrecks: The Sea Wife by Amity Gaige. If you like to be totally emotionally devastated, this one's for you.
DeleteWOw, that's a topic for another day--who likes to be emotionally devastated by a book? We'll do that soon!
DeleteYou have to be in a certain kind of mood for the devastation. That was my version of a trigger warning.
DeleteYes, yes, yes! What a perfect post, Ellie! I so enjoy the fictional strife of perfect couples because being married for 25 years (almost) I know how much the mundane and not so mundane issues can drive a partner bananas - lol. Can't wait to pick up a copy - The Custody Battle sounds fabulous!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jenn! I think that it's because the mundane issues are often the same as the not-so-mundane (meaning it can seem like you're fighting over something small but really it has a deep emotional significance.) A lot of what I do in couples therapy is unpack and explore what's underneath a seemingly petty fight. It's amazing what you can uncover. Though of course, sometimes it really is just a small thing that felt large because you were stressed or irritable or hormonal. It's worth trying to figure out which it is and not just dismiss your feelings, though.
DeleteI'm probably going on too long. I just love talking about writing, and about therapy!
Ellie, I wrote my comment (below) while you were writing your comment about almost the same thing! — Pat S
DeleteI enjoy a good marital suspense novel, but like others above, can’t recall any titles except those already mentioned. The Custody Battle sounds great, though the picture of baby shoes makes me a bit sad…
ReplyDeleteHaving gone through marital counseling myself, I know how important it is to get the “resentments” out in the open. Our therapist had us list them and it was amazing how mundane some of them were. And yet they were like the proverbial burr under the saddle — very annoying to the other person. In fictional circumstances, it’s not hard to imagine that little “burr” escalating to violence. (Just to clarify, my husband and I are coming up on our 33rd anniversary.). — Pat S
Hi, Pat! Congratulations on the upcoming anniversary! That's funny that you and I were having a little telepathic moment. (Side note: I didn't pick the baby shoes but they are evocative. The child in the book is actually a tween.) Hope you enjoy the book!
DeleteI have to say, despite having had a long and (mostly!) happy marriage, I LOVE husband vs. wife domestic suspense. I do think getting the goods behind the image of perfection is delicious. I also think readers love to experience lives where characters have more than enough money and live in idyllic suburban communities - you notice very few domestic suspense characters have to take on a second job to make ends meet or worry about their kid's failing public school.
ReplyDeleteIt offers an escape into an affluent lifestyle which also turns out -da dum! - to be not as carefree as we all think.
PS, Ellie, I wanted to add the cover of THE CUSTODY BATTLE and the upcoming THE DIVORCE LAWYER are fabulous.
DeleteHi, Julia! You make such a good point about who domestic suspense is for, and who it's about. I actually would like to write about people who thought they did it right (went to college, made what they thought were responsible decisions) and then still find themselves struggling to even stay in the middle class. But writers are steered toward either writing about people who are in states of extreme desperation or states of significant affluence. I guess that's because it gives a lot of readers enough distance for the thriller to feel escapist rather than anxiety-provoking--i.e. they don't hit TOO close to home.
DeleteSwitching gears...I'm so glad you like the covers! I thought they played off each other nicely, and I hope that the books themselves accomplish that as well.
You know, Julia, that's very true about the affluence. Maybe the wealthy have more time to be annoyed about towels on the floor because they have no other responsibilities...
DeleteSo many good ones! Some authors I’ve read and liked are Hannah Mary McKinnon, Sally Hepworth, Lisa Sottiline, Lisa Unger, Lisa Jewell.
ReplyDeleteOh, such a perfect list!
DeleteBefore I became a copyright lawyer, I practiced family law, most of which was divorce law. The thought of that practice still makes me shudder.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, I bet you have stories.... you are brave. xx
DeleteEllie, such an interesting post! I was a clinical psychologist in private practice before becoming a writer. I loved the work--except for warring couples. The feelings in the room were so intense and often hateful, it was my least favorite problem. But kudos to you for both helping couples and figuring out how use the drama in your work! Now of course I'm wondering if your clients/patients read your books?
ReplyDeleteOh, great question!
DeleteThankfully not. I did once have an individual client come in and say that his wife was reading my book for a book club. I had the impression he hadn't read it and I was glad for that (not that he--or any other specific client--has ever made an appearance in one of my novels.) But I was suddenly self-conscious that a client could THINK he was in there, that he'd recognize some quality of his, and what an awkward situation that could be.
DeleteEllie, what a great premise--so much tension there! I'm curious about whether you know where the story is going from the beginning?
ReplyDeleteYes, in real life, too--Ellie, do you predict which couples will stay together and which won't?
DeleteOoh, great question, Hank!
DeleteYeah..hmmm...
DeleteI do generally know where the story is going from the beginning , which is quite different from therapy where I try to avoid seeing the ending. If I make predictions about my clients, then I worry that those can become self-fulfilling prophecies, that I won't be as open-minded as I need to be in order to be a good steward of the relationship.
DeleteI was a teen when I discovered “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” in the Ladies Home Journal. I was fascinated, because in my naïveté, and having parents who openly adored one another, this was all news to me. I love the twisty, marriage gone bad, who’s really the bad guy stories. Maybe because, secure in my own 45-year marriage, I can enjoy them!
ReplyDeleteYes, it's always easier in fiction!
DeleteI'm old enough to remember reading that column too! I've certainly read books about couples breaking up but I can't remember any titles at the moment. I was reminded of that movie from the very late 80s: The War of the Roses, with Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas. Their actions were extreme!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Ellie!
Oh, yes, that movie is a classic! And what a metaphor, right? At the end, there was nothing left...
DeleteYes, I thought of "War of the Roses" when I was writing, which does have a campier element than my book. But still, I knew I wasn't writing "Kramer vs. Kramer" (which is an amazing movie but it's no thriller.)
DeleteKudos, Ellie, on your counseling work, and Congrats on the new book! I think Lisa Jewell's books have dysfunctional couples. There's Jean Hanff Korelitz's THE UNDOING. And then there's Shakespeare's MACBETH.
ReplyDeleteThe Macbeths! ;-) The ultimate dysfunctional couple.
DeleteThanks, Priscilla! I'm a huge Lisa Jewell fan. I was once asked whose books I wished I'd written and I said Lisa Jewell and J.P. Delaney.
DeleteI remember that column, proof that "happily ever after" isn't always. Hard to pick favorites when there are so many, but two that leapt to mind were NEVER COMING HOME and CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR . . . and some real life cases way too close for comfort. Teachers deal with many problems not in the curriculum.
ReplyDelete-- Storyteller Mary
Ohhh....so true, dear Mary! xx
DeleteThere are certain jobs that give you a lot more fodder than others for novels. And teaching is definitely one of them.
Delete