Friday, March 22, 2024

The Reds Dish on Book Tours.

 RHYS BOWEN: We have all been following Hank’s progress on what seems like the longest book tour ever. Smiling faces in every city, lots of copies of the book held up with the bookface, and already into a second printing. All good. All lovely.


 Those of you who are aspiring or new authors long for the first real book tour. It seems so glamorous to fly to distant cities, to be met by a town car, driven to a very fancy hotel where you can order anything you like on room service, then to the event where adoring crowds are waiting for you then repeat the process the next day.

 In some ways it is glamorous and lovely. I’m always overwhelmed when fans tell me they’ve come long distances to see me. I had one fan fly to Houston from New Orleans. Last year I met two ladies from Portland OR when I was signing in Scottsdale. “Are you here for spring training?” I asked. “No, just to see you,” they replied. Gob smacking.


 But let me tell you that book tours quickly lose their glamor and appeal. For one thing the car comes around five am to make that flight to the next city. That lovely hotel room? You only see it after nine at night. And as for food… there is never a good time to eat. Five am too early for breakfast at the hotel. Five pm too early for dinner but after the event nine thirty is too late. So it’s a case of Starbucks at the airport then nuts and cheese in the carry on.

 And sometimes absolute horror stories, like the time I was driven out of Houston, in August, to a radio station somewhere in the piney woods. Car dropped me off and left. The door is locked. I phoned their number. Nobody answered. I’m melting in the middle of nowhere. Temperature 101 degrees. I bang on door, call number again. After about fifteen minutes they pick up and I am admitted. She was alone there and on air and didn't hear me. Scary.

 I’ve had plenty of others. Blizzard in Chicago. Room over event with band at hotel with music thumping until 2 am. Hair dryer doesn’t work and they haven’t sent up a replacement with ten minutes to go. Photo with store pig etc etc. I was trying to think of the worst and this one comes to mind. I fly into Denver after a snowstorm. Snow everywhere. Because I’m flying out really early next morning they have put me at a hotel near the airport. In the middle of snow covered fields. I was met by my escort who drives me to a zillion bookstores to sign then drops me off at hotel at 2:30 promising to pick me up again at 5;30.  I go to the front desk.

                      “Where’s the coffee shop?” I asked.

                      “They closed at 2.”

                      “So you do room service?”

                      “No ma’am.”

                      “And is there anywhere to eat around here?”  I look out onto snowy fields. Not a building in sight.

                      “Not really.”

                      “Then could you call me a cab, maybe?”

                      “Maybe..” she looks as if a cab isn’t likely to want to take one woman to a nearby food place. Then she adds, “We do have a hotel bus. I could drive you if you wait a minute.”

                      And so we set off in quite a large bus. At last I spot a miracle. The Golden Arches. We drive through the drive-through at McDonalds. I order a meal for myself and one for my driver. Saved.

So Reds, share your worst book tour experience!

HALLIE EPHRON: The true nightmare is arriving at a bookstore and finding they have none of your books. And … oops… they didn’t put you in their newsletter so it’s just you, the bookseller, a few empty chairs, and a pot-bellied pig the size of an overstuffed ottoman. THEN you go to your motel and the room smells funky. You walk across the street to a restaurant, sit at the bar, order a burger, and get to talking with a guy and his friend. When you’re walking home, the guy pulls up in front of you. He’s driving a Ford pickup and blocking you so you can’t cross the street. 

“Need a ride?,” he asks. 

Cue scary music.

RHYS: You've encountered the pig too, Hallie! I was with Lyn Hamilton and when we left she grabbed my arm and said, "We're going to get a large order of spare ribs!"

JENN McKINLAY: OMG, Hallie!!! I think you have a wonderful opener for a horror novel there. EEK! 

For me, book tours are only fun if I’m going with a group of fellow authors. I’ve been very lucky that my publisher has sent me on a few of these multi author excursions (ALA’s annual conference and surrounding area bookstores of wherever we are being my absolute favorites). It’s a blast because not only do you get to meet readers and librarians but you get to have a gal pal trip added to the mix. Shenanigans!

Some of my absolute best memories are of being in the middle of a Texas book tour and finding the best Czech pastries - kolaches!!! - or having a writer buddy drag me out of our hotel to hop in a cab and drive to a look off where I could see the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time IRL. Amazing!

RHYS: Jenn, I've had such fun touring with other authors. I really miss that.

LUCY BURDETTE: OMG Hallie, I’m never going on book tour again! Agree with Jenn, write this! I’ve never had a publisher setting up a book tour for me, so I’ve gotten very picky about what I put my energy in. Built-in crowds like my recent Friends of the Bonita Springs Library lunch are my very favorite. Although Jenn, I will go anywhere with you!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: On, my gosh. Where to start. A mixture of absolutely glorious joy and real glamor and truly grueling exhausting travel.  As Rhys says,I’ve just come back from essentially six weeks on the road, sometimes with four events a day. 

I learned to order one of those little bottles of wine on the plane, but NOT DRINK IT and stash it in my bag. Then buy a big sandwich as I leave each airport, have half the sandwich for lunch in my hotel (where the only option is  a fridge in the lobby of buyable frozen chicken potpies and bad tortillas,), and the other half for dinner along with the hoarded wine. SO glam!  Once I had to Uber to a Panera. Once I got dinner at Wegmans. 

One place I stayed was a B&B which was gorgeous but where the television changed channels without me touching the remote. They just—changed.

Or when I dragged myself back to the room, happy but exhausted after a wonderful event, looking forward to the leftover sandwich and hoarded wine. SO TIRED! But the key card would not work. 

I dragged myself back downstairs to the desk.

“Help,” I said, as I handed over the dead card.  “My key card is demagnetized, can you fix it?”

The desk clerk looked at it. Did not pick it up. “Ma’am,  this is a Hyatt key.”

Me, SO tired. “I KNOW, and it doesn't work in my door.”

Clerk: “Understandable. This hotel is a Hilton.”

And I am now losing my voice entirely. And I would not trace it for anything. I adored every minute, even the bleak and lonely ones. Because I am so lucky.

JULA SPENCER-FLEMING: Wait, wait - can we rewind? Rhys… a photo with the store PIG? I want to hear more about that! (RHYS: Hallie met it too. Giant hairy pig that drooled over my shoes).

I agree with Jenn - the most fun I’ve had on book tour has been with other authors, but my WORST experience was also a joint endeavor. Back in the early aughts, the amazing Denise Hamilton and I combined forces and budgets for our “Murdering Mommies” tour - which stretched a total of 9 weeks. 

We were in Portland, OR (or as I call it, the second Portland) and were super excited to have been booked into a Powell’s store - the second biggest one, in the Cedar Crossing mall. Huge, right? We picked up our rental car and hit the road; we had a mid-day talk and signing at a small store that went smashingly, then we drove around signing stock, and then time for our big event!

These were the days BEFORE smart phones, and Denise was navigating via the elaborate directions my publicist had printed out and mailed us. I’m following her instructions, but instead of leading out to suburbia, I’m weaving my way through densely populated area. At one point, the speed dropped to 25, and the road had tiny roundabouts to make sure we couldn’t accelerate to hit the children Big Wheeling in the street. 

We finally arrived at a tiny store. We are utterly confused. We go in to see a handful of early-twenties kids, all bent over books or laptops. The manager, who is also about 20, was happy to see us. “We’re the university store,” he says, “we just opened! I wondered why they wanted you to sign here.” 

There are three hardcover and five paperbacks for Denise. There are five hardcover and three paperbacks for me. The signing takes less that four minutes. None of the students even looks up at us. The manager offers us each a complimentary pumpkin muffin. 

As we walk to the rental, Denise veers off toward the trunk. “What are you doing?” I said.

"Seeing if someone left a weapon. I’m about to go on a rampage.”

RHYS: Julia, I think we've all had that store where nobody came. It's humiliating, humbling and probably good for us.


DEBORAH CROMBIE: Oh, wow, Hank, just gobsmacked!! So not funny at all! Other than that, I have to agree on the pal tours. Many of my favorite book tour memories are of tours and events with Charles and Caroline Todd. We were not only friends but big fans of the other's books and that made it really easy for the joint talks.

But the hotel rooms, early flights, no food–it all can be pretty grueling. I think Hank is Wonder Woman!


HANK: Oh, well, touring with a pal. Huh. Once I did that, she wasn't a pal, but assigned by a publicist. We had a fine time, all good, three days together on the road  with three events a day. So you can imagine how often we heard what the other would say. 

On the last event of the last day, she got up to give her stump biography–”where did you grow up and how did it inspire your writing”--and SHE GAVE MINE INSTEAD. Word for word, MINE.Later, I heard she thought it was a completely hilarious thing to do.

I did not agree.

RHYS: So now you know the secrets of our not-so-glamorous life. Just when we feel pretty good about ourselves we have one of these humbling experiences. Like when I was in a huge limo and the driver asked if I'd like to stop for a coffee. He went to get me one. So many people saw the limo. Came up to it. Who is it? Excited. Looked at me. Oh. 

Any more stories to share about book signings?

76 comments:

  1. Okay . . . I'm definitely joining the vote for Hallie to write that book . . . .
    With creepy pigs and missed meals and horrible schedules, we readers certainly are lucky that you lovely ladies continue to write books for us to read . . . .

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    1. Though honestly most of it is pleasure and a joy to connect with readers.

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  2. Your stories of book tours are funny, and scary and also make me a little hungry. (Now, I travel with homemade breakfast cookies.) But, they also remind me of traveling around the Northeast to speak on behalf of a national women's organization.
    I flew on puddlejumpers (regional carriers) that seated 19 from Hartford, destination Rochester, flying through Albany. With strong winds and a storm brewing, the flight to Rochester was canceled, but the one to Syracuse was an option. Another passenger and I rented a car at the Syracuse airport and drove through the snow to get to Rochester. I stayed at a B&B where they did not turn the heat on during the day. I FROZE waiting for the gals to pick me up for dinner and the event. Later that night, the room at the B&B had to have been 90 degrees. I had to open a window to breathe.
    More, I have more.

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    1. Too kind, Amanda! I should begin by telling you that my program was about the importance of who gets lifetime appointments to the federal bench. When you all cast your ballots for president, remember "it's about the Supreme Court. "

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    2. I’m not a fan of small planes, Judy. Small planes in the snow? And being cold? This would have been my nightmare trip

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    3. small planes terrify me, too - too few engines.

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    4. The flight home was one of the scariest I have ever been on. Those little planes bounced all over the sky the whole trip, especially the one from Albany to Hartford! I kept telling myself that the pilot wanted to land safely as much as I did and soothed myself with that mantra.

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  3. Authors, what is the average days/weeks spent on a book tour? We know Hank spends weeks.
    Also do you find reader/fan conventions less tiring than time spent on multiple book tours?
    I do applaud you guys for going out there to be for us readers.

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    1. My longest publisher-arranged tour was 2 weeks. These days touring has been cut back to just a few key stores. But early in my career I drove coast to coast with pals. Conventions are tiring in a different way because you are always ‘On’. Standing in line for the ladies someone will say “I love your books!”

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    2. Oh dear. Good to know about what Not to do at Conventions. And glad that you could do book events with pals early in your career. I remember meeting you at a book event with several other authors at my local bookstore that was two blocks from my house.

      Diana

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    3. There's nothing more humbling than going to a convention, taking your place in the aphabetically aligned signing room, only to discover that Ephron is next to Evanovich.

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    4. I think the longest publisher-arranged tour I've done was about twenty days? Or maybe that was twenty cities! :-) Believe me, they all run together.

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  4. I was reading along about the photos with the store pig, picturing a painted sculpture of a pig. How cute. Then Rhys added that it drooled over her shoes - yikes, a REAL pig? Gah.

    These stories make me a teensy bit glad I haven't (yet) been sent on book tour. (Just kidding...) Agree about doing events with author pals. The Wicked Authors and I have had several wonderful, fun, well-attended panels. Once Hallie hosted us at her library. An aspiring author had driven quite a distance to see us. Now Nicole Asselin has two books out and a podcast!

    But I've also had bookstore or library events with almost nobody out there. Those aren't fun, but the site has advertised my book in the windows and on the front counter and usually in their newsletter, so a lot more people have heard of me than before.

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    1. Edith, I attended an event at a college bookstore in downtown Hartford. I had seen the author previously and was already a big fan of his books. No one else came. No one but the author, the store manager and I were there. The three of us sat down and chatted for the entire hour.
      Some venues do not do a good job of promoting their events. Some stores and libraries do a great job.

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    2. I've had events like that, Judy, which resulted in a great chat and book sales, all with one person!

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  5. I'm jotting notes. Hank, wine from the plane and a sandwich from the airport? Brilliant!!! Because I'm notorious for getting hangry when I don't eat on schedule.

    I've never had a real "tour" and definitely nothing any of my publishers have lined up for me. But I did manage to line up series of appearances across my state of Pennsylvania once several years and books ago. Four days, three nights. I stayed with a friend and fellow author at her house one night, was put up at an artists colony "hostel" the second, and stayed at a hotel the third. No horror stories, but I was so glad to get home, I can't even fathom going on a real tour.

    That's not to say I wouldn't jump at the opportunity if a publisher offered it!

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  6. Oh my goodness: You all are not only good writers you are BRAVE authors to go on tour. Sheesh. The tales you tell...Thank you for doing it for us readers!

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  7. My husband did Audubon lecture tours with his films for over 20 years, following in his dad's footsteps. He often stayed with hosts from local Audubon chapters, and he had experiences that would have stopped me cold. I traveled around the country, speaking and booth-selling at sewing shows, for 15 years. For awhile I drove or flew with my friend Karen, and she and I had some hilarious adventures.

    The craziest was on our very first trip to a show. We shared a booth and a hotel room to save costs. I ended the first day with what threatened to be a roaring cold or flu, and had taken some Nyquil or something so I could sleep. But that was not to be. Two of the rooms on the other side of the hall from us appeared to be sharing a prostitute. She was going back and forth, with increasingly loud drunken conversation, until neither guy would let her in, and they were clearly not planning to pay her. Finally, at about 2 AM the police arrived, after the manager's entreaties hadn't worked. We may have gotten a couple hours of sleep that night.

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  8. Wonderful, exciting lives you authors lead! I have only been to a couple of book signings. Most memorable was meeting Madeleine L'Engle who was there with her husband, whom I knew as Dr. Tyler on All My Children. They both signed my book. I was with my young daughter who was so excited to see the author in the bathroom with us, her fur coat casually slung over the top of a stall.

    Then there was the author, probably a first-time author, at a Waldenbooks. No one was interested in what he was promoting. I chatted with him and asked him what kind of books he liked to read. I was stunned when he told me he didn't read books. I must have looked shocked because then he said "but my wife does."

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    1. An author who doesn't read! His comment makes me wonder if his reader wife actually wrote "his" book!

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    2. How I wish I'd met Madeleine L'Engle. I loved A Wrinkle in Time as a child--I still do! As for the author who didn't read books, I can't imagine how he could write one.

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    3. He deserved to have no one there if he doesn’t read. I’m stunned

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    4. Madeleine L’Engle, near the end of her life, was at a spiritual center program that I attended, giving me weak knees. She was just an attendee like me. I loved her spiritual and memoir writings and spent the day in awe of being in the same room. Never read A Wrinkle in Time until long after this. Elisabeth

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    5. An author who tells you at his book signing that he doesn't read is colossally stupid or has a death wish. But... maybe his wife actually wrote the book but they made a marketing decision to put his name on it?

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    6. I’m always shocked when I find that one of my fellow elementary school librarians doesn’t read for pleasure. We all read - aloud and picture books - but to not enjoy reading?! Unfathomable. For an author to admit he doesn’t read is highly suspicious. — Pat S

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    7. I have a feeling he had never been asked that question before. Obviously he didn't think his answer through.

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  9. Hallie and Rhys: I thought maybe you were talking about a statue of a pig, but no, a literal, real live pig? Wow.

    I've never been on a book tour, but reading about this, I'm not sure I'd be up for it. I mean, of course I would if my publisher offered, but at least I'd be prepared for the grind. I would certainly come back to this blog post for a refresher!

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  10. Reds, your stories about touring are enough to make me almost glad I haven't done much, and never the kind set up by a publicist! But your fortitude may be why, in addition to writing books we love, you have so many devoted fans.

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    1. Every time I tour I see how much it means to some readers. They bring me gifts.. a knitted hat, a China figure, hand embroidered towel etc. and they share their stories

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  11. Yes, dear Reds--it's very kind of you to go out into the world to meet us fans despite the disasters. I've spoken about my books at bookstores but never been on a book tour. Still, I do have a story that fits the trend! In my mid-twenties, I worked for Peggy Charren, the president of a nonprofit organization called Action for Children's Television (ACT), which worked to improve the quality of kids' TV. Peggy was invited to do a lot of speaking. Once, she was asked to fly to Charleston, West Virginia, to be interviewed about ACT on a 2 a.m. TV show, and she asked me to do it. I flew down to the city, checked into a hotel, and, at 1 a.m., took a taxi to the TV station, hung around for a while on the dark sidewalk while I waited to be let in (sound familiar, Rhys?), and found out that rock star Frank Zappa was being interviewed after me; before me, there would be a local man showing off several of his pythons. I found it hard to believe that the same people watching TV in the middle of the night and eager to look at giant snakes or hear Frank Zappa were interested in improving the quality of TV programming for young children. Still, it was my only experience on television, so who was I to complain? Sadly, after my interview, I was ushered out, and I never got to meet Zappa.

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    1. TV at 2 am, Kim? I think I would turn down that one

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  12. My first question is what do you wear on airplanes? Does Hank get off looking picture perfect, or is she (are you) sweatpants and hoodie and have to pull a superman cape change in the nearest telephone box?
    If you were not speaking auditorium style as it looks to be so often the case, would you prefer to be sitting down to a homemade dinner in a small town, where the ‘chat’ is more a Thanksgiving dinner with all the relatives, rather than a try to flog more copies of the current tome? Would you prefer to enjoy the local feel even if it is church funeral sandwiches and rice Krispie squares, rather than a Tom Horton’s donut and coffee at the airport?
    Our local book club fund-raised to invite a prominent author to visit. We were planning a home-town get together – sit around, chew the fat, have a lobster or two. Then she would go off to a larger event in a small city. Covid stepped in and it didn’t happen. We sometimes chat about what fun it would have been – hopefully for all of us. Her handler was on board with it.
    On another note – just back from a 2-day delivery to the hospital for my sister’s 2nd go at chemo. We took Russ & Claire for their first car-ride. (Usually we travel with Three Pines). I expected grief from the back seat, but as the patient went into the hospital, she said that we will have to tell her the ending! Success! Claire and Russ will be invited back! Even the Harrumper liked them, though he does have issues with the MG.
    Oh, and my computer is fixed and I can see the font! Hurray!!!!!

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    1. No chance for hoodie on planes. Sometimes it’s straight to store or media. Hank and I always carry a pashmina in case it’s cold

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    2. Yay on your good news, Margo, and for new fans of Russ and Clare! On the hoodie, I try to wear one on international flights, so great for keeping neck and head warm and blocking light. But on tour we are often going straight to or coming straight from events. I have a very foldable travel blanket that has gone on every flight with me for years. Also very useful in the hotel if not enough covers, etc.

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    3. Not new friend of Claire & Russ, but introducing them to others - always afraid the others will not love them as much as I do! I am revisiting Gemma by myself - book 2 is playing as I gut fish - TMI?
      So even on International flights, you are not just you, but dashing about? You all have my sympathy, and admiration, as it is something that would just send the shivers down my spine to have to do.

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  13. I’ve only seen a few authors in person and most of those because I traveled to where they were rather than vice versa. No one wants to come to Minnesota and when they do it is usually just Minneapolis. Rochester has an International airport where security is a breeze! We have a wonderful library and a big Barnes and Noble (I saw Jan Brett there; she had a big tour bus) and a couple of small indies with mostly used books. Wm Kent Krueger came to one of them.

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    1. It’s never what the author wants. It’s where the publisher thinks makes sense and will sell books

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  14. Intrepid, that is what you are. I have attended author events for so many years. It is still a thrill to see the person who takes a bunch of words, to form ideas to develop a world for me to enter. A magician stands before me. Sometimes, the magician looks like 'the rabbit' is a bit frazzled. Sometimes even the sorcerer seems exhausted and the talk begins to tank. Goddess help us, sometimes the magician has indulged in potions before the talk... and it showed. But still the show, the sell, the energy and the pure kindness of the author ahhh the magic is real. Was the pig perhaps a transmorphed publicist who did wrong to his clients?

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    1. The pig was adored by the store owner!

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  15. It's odd, how much I look forward to being on the road when I'm going on vacation, but when it's travel for business? Eh, not so much. The bottle of wine and big sandwich is brilliant, Hank! Beats snacks stowed in a purse or carryon. I once bought a sub before leaving for the airport. Many envious looks from fellow passengers as I enjoyed my supper on the plane.

    The bad news is, getting up so early to get to the airport--but the good news is, at least when you are on tour, you don't have to drive! And when readers turn out to meet you and get your books signed--that's got to be such a great feeling! All those hours you sit there working (and worrying, here's looking at you especially, Hank), and then finding out that readers are devouring your books and clamoring for more! Wow!

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  16. Have book tours changed since the pandemic? I wondered about that. Interesting to read so many different book tour experiences. I was surprised that you all had drivers because when a friend published her first novel, I was surprised that she drove herself all over the Bay Area and she lived in Los Angeles at that time.

    Good idea to buy something to eat from the airport in case the restaurants are closed by the time you arrive at the hotel. About the tv that turned on by itself, I wonder if the remote control was under the mattress ?

    Donkey years ago, when I lived two blocks from a bookstore, I used to go to the book events there often. And I remember my Mom and I went to a midnight book event at the bookstore to pick up copies of the new Harry Potter book. Kids wore costumes and there were cookies.

    Last summer I went to my first book event (Rhys' book event) since the pandemic lockdown even if it was quite a distance from my house. It helped that it was in the daytime. And I went to a mystery conference two weeks later.

    Wow, this was a long comment / post from me this morning.

    Diana

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    1. Generally tours are cut back since the pandemic and some events are Zoom, which costs the publisher nothing

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  17. Great stories! Ugh the pot-bellied pig and the radio station in the 101 degree heat! And Hallie's guy from the bar. Scary.

    Of course I got stuck thinking about Julia's experience in my city. Powell's only has 3 branches, although it's possible that they had another years ago and I was too busy too notice. Cedar Hills Crossing is a lovely store and often has author events. It's possible that she went to the Hawthorne branch, which is where I usually pick up books.Though not near the university, it's definitely in the hipster part of town, more so years ago, and depending on the route you take, there is one big roundabout nearby with a statue of Joan of Arc in the middle of it (after spending the weekend in Bend, with roundabouts everywhere, I have to say there are not many in Portland).

    I worked in a hotel for 4 years and saw a lot of business travelers and got a sense of how grueling that life is. So I wish you all easy flights and hotels and welcoming crowds. Julia, please come back to the other Portland some time!

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    1. I’ve had lovely events at Cedar Hills!

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    2. Gillian, it's entirely possible I'm mixing up Portland and Seattle - it was a total of nine weeks on tour (with two trips back home) and my brain was scrambled by the time we reached the west coast.

      Another funny one about that area - Denise and I drove from Seattle through a pass of the Cascade Mountains in heavy fog to an event east of the area. Raining when we got there, raining for the event, raining when we went to our hotel. We got up bright and early the next morning to head for Walla Walla, with me driving as always (Denise was the navigator.) I pulled out of the hotel parking lot, checked my rear view mirror and nearly drove off the road.

      "What the *censored* is that thing?" I shrieked.
      "What?" Denise looked around, expected we were about to be run over.
      "That giant *censored* mountain!!"

      You got it - East Coast girl that I am, my first glimpse of Mt. Rainier nearly gave me a heart attack.

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    3. That's so funny, Julia! The mountain FINALLY came out for you and scared the crap out of you.

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    4. I think I've signed at Cedar Hills Crossing. But the thing about book tours, especially if you're being driven by a media escort or a car service, is that most of the time you have no idea where you are!

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    5. Debs, I envision you all like the rock stars, “Hello, Portl, er, Sea, er, San Francisco!”

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    6. Hi Gillian I love to visit Portland, Or (I have family there). Yes it does sound suspiciously like the Hawthorne St Powell's and the round about sounds right too as it is close by.
      It is small and has a little coffee shop inside and is where a lot of hip Portlanders hang out.
      Of course most Portlanders are pretty hip!

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  18. Rhys, todays post is what I loved about this blog - a ride in the Reds' shoes as they travel and share their experiences both scary (Hallie) and fun and funny! It gives us an insight into your experiences and it's so much fun to read about them.

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  19. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 22, 2024 at 10:08 AM

    Oh yes, agree, book tours have changed since the pandemic—When publishers realized their authors could meet hundreds of people and it was essentially free.
    The problem is, in a real life situation, attendees buy the books.
    On zoom , attendees click “leave meeting” after the hour’s entertainment. So authors essentially become free content, and we just have to hope that the attendees will be inspired to buy the book ….somewhere. And no one has quite figured out how to translate the book buying power of a real life event into a zoom event that sells books. Some publishers require a book sale to get into the zoom. And often, it will be for a signed book. Have any of you ever done that?

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    1. Yes, I have ordered signed books to get into the online events. And if the online event is captioned, then I am more likely to order the book online. When Murder By the Book in Houston had their online event captioned, I ordered the book from them directly. It was the first time any bookstore had their online event captioned.

      Diana

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    2. I have also pre-purchased a book to get into an event. It was with Louise Penny. I don't usually buy her books because I don't read them more than once but I thought it would be fun to see her in person (ZOOM) and also important to give support during the pandemic.

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  20. It all sounds like fun to me! The pig thing is a bit odd, though.

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  21. This is Gigi Norwood. I think crazy-bad book tours are horrible in the moment, but make the best war stories afterwards. Any time you're out of your natural environment, trying to be a professional, and having to wing it for basics like food and a non-moldy place to sleep--that's when you realized that you are an intelligent, resourceful adult who can handle whatever comes your way. Or not.

    I don't have book tour stories but I do have a couple of "Band on the Road" stories. My favorite (in retrospect) was the time we took the Dallas Winds to San Jose to perform at an international conference for wind ensembles. Our tech director was kind of new at the job, and didn't check the airline weight limits for checked baggage. As a result, the huge box with all the percussion stuff--cymbal stands, cymbals, chimes, and little egg shakers--and all the sheet music, was drastically overweight and not allowed on the plane. We had 55 musicians on that tour. Half of them flew out on the early flight, along with my boss. The box and the tech director were supposed to go on that one. I was left to get the rest of them on the late flight. But when the box got barred, I found myself in the ladies bathroom, hoping to pee before my flight was called, talking on my cell to the frantic tech director, who kept asking if Kim (my boss, and a guy) was there. "No, Kim's not here," I'd shout over the toilets flushing all around me. I finally got him calmed down long enough to give him the company credit card number so he could FedEx the equipment box in time for rehearsal, then spent most of my "off" time in San Jose driving the tech director to various hardware stores so we could buy smaller boxes that would meet the weight limits. Every musician who had room in their luggage went home with some stuffed music folders.

    It might have been crazy on the backstage side but, trust me, the band sounded great and we got more than one standing ovation from a packed house. Worth it? Worth it.

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    1. GREAT STORY, Anonymous... Would love to know who you are.

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    2. Love this story, Gigi. You are the queen of Operation Directors!!

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  22. Not quite a book tour story though I thought it was interesting to mention here. I remember as a child, the actors from the National Theater of the Deaf told a story to the audience. They were travelling across country. They went to a diner? cafe? in an American town. None of the servers knew sign language. When the Deaf actors tried to order their meals in writing, they learned that none of the servers could READ! They could not read nor write.

    Diana

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  23. Met you for the first time in Ct. when she was with Lucy whom we go to see every summer. Didn’t know how to pronounce her first name and hadn’t read any of her books. Got Licy’s book of course and also bought my first of Rhys’s books that evening. Have read every one since. Thank you for being along with Lucy.

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  24. Book tours sound grueling but rewarding at the same time. Although not exactly a book tour, I “met” Debs and Lucy at the Key West Library Speakers Series a few years ago and that was also my introduction to this blog.~Emily Dame

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    1. No gruel at all involved in that event, Emily!! Nothing could be more fun than a trip to Key West and a lovely visit with our Lucy!! And so lovely to meet you there!

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  25. My most memorable book tour was in Germany. Munich to Stuttgart to Hamburg to Hanover, with my German publicist and a German actor who was meant to do part of the event reading in German while I would do part in English. These were all ticketed and sold out events, so lovely. BUT--you knew there was a but coming! On the first day, I came down with the flu. I did the whole tour with a horrible sore throat, cough, and absolutely pouring nose. In every city, my publicist would run to the nearest chemist to stock up on cold meds. By the last city, I had completely lost my voice and the German actor had to do all the program and I just signed books. And then the volcano exploded in Iceland and all flights out of Hanover to London were canceled, and all the rental cars were booked. My fabulous publicist managed to get me the last seat on the train to Cologne, and from there to Brussels and the Eurostar to London. What an adventure that was. Wish I could do it again, just not sick!!!

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    1. I remember when that happened, Debs - so painful!

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  26. I have seen a few authors at bookstores, but never imagined all they possibly went through to be there. I did go to Bouchercon last summer in San Diego and am planning to attend in Nashville this year. I absolutely loved that you saw authors in the halls, in line at Starbucks and yes, in (the entrance to) the library! Everyone was extremely gracious, but now I am going to have to rethink my conversational approach. Telling an author you love their books is not okay, or not in line at the ladies room?

    (Not-so-quick story from my experience at Bouchercon: my husband has little knowledge of the books I read or the authors, especially since I started reading e-books because he doesn’t see the books around the house. He does, however, know the name Sara Paretsky from the years before kindles. I came home from my second day and told him I met Ms. Paretsky. He asked, “You did? Where?” Months later I realize I could have said, “At the convention.” But instead I told him the location, “The bathroom.” He’s been married to me long enough to know that women (friends) do occasionally talk stall-to-stall so he thought that’s what I meant! I said, “No! She was coming out of the room with another author who had just been on a panel I’d enjoyed. I told the other author how much I had enjoyed her questions, etc. She thanked me and said, ‘You know Sara Paretsky, don’t you?’” So technically I did meet her in the bathroom, if only by a few feet.) — Pat S

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  27. Brava, brave and resourceful authors. <3
    Storyteller Mary

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  28. Great stories, Ladies! The tours do look so glamorous from the outside, especially for those of us who have never been on an actual tour, only a dozen, or so, bookstore or library events. I remember one where no one came. Finally, the head librarian bought a book out of pity. Ha! Fun times. Thanks for sharing. I guess it's all relative.

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  29. I'm sure I wrote a comment this morning, but it seems to have gone walkabout. Oh, well, it was bound to happen someday.

    Lots of fun stories today! Gaack, to the pet pig.

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  30. I can only imagine how horrible it is for authors when a book tour stop becomes an exercise in not throttling someone for some of the more ridiculous epic fails you encounter.

    However, I'd like to say that I've had a marvelous time with every signing I've attended over the years. The authors have all been nice and all, but hey I suppose that shouldn't be a surprise considering they are out there trying to sell their books. But it's nice to make a connection, however briefly, with someone whose work has struck a chord with you.

    I wish I could get to all the events I wanted to go to but that's not feasible. And one of those big book conventions where there's a few dozen authors I like on hand would be "signed book porn" for me. LOL

    The one thing I've noticed that is a bummer is how a lot of book tours are laid out by geographic area. When an author who lives out west puts out a book (particularly when it is set in that same region), all the book tour events are pretty much in that region. While I know not everyone gets to tour like they are Bon Jovi in the late 1980's (HANK!), I wish events could be more spread out so I could, selfishly, have a shot at meeting someone like say C.J. Box or John Sandford. And if you write a series (or two) that are set on the Cape, would just ONE stop on the Cape be too much to ask? I mean, I'd come and bring all my books to get signed for me AND buy some for Xmas gifts. But that's just me I know and logistics plus money considerations limit where authors can get to.

    But I can dream, right?

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  31. Since I don't reread books, most are donated to the library. Signed books are not important to me, and I pre-order a lot of books. During Covid, I started viewing authors' talks at Poisoned Pen so I order some books from them to thank them. Have to do that again, as I just enjoyed Rhys and Claire's talk. Loved the book, too. I saw Ellen Crosby at Mechanicsburg Mystery Bookshop, and Amanda Flower and Vicki Delany at the Pennsylvania Tea Festival. Also, attended the Kensington Mini-Con in 2022 and the Cozy Mystery Fete last year, where I met some authors I liked and found a few new ones. I hope they have these events this year.

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    1. I donate most of my books to the Friends of the Library too. It also gives you a tax write off which is nice. I'd love to visit the Poisoned Pig.

      The only JRW I've met in person was Lucy Burdette who was introduced as Roberta Isleib. She was on a college panel of alumni speakers who were talking about food and she was asked to participate (I assume) because of her Key West food series. It took me a few minutes to put 2 + 2 together to realize Roberta was Lucy, author of the Key West mystery I had just finished reading ! I had a very brief conversation afterwards with her.

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  32. Hallie and Rhys, were you both at the same book signing store with a pot bellied pig? I imagine it was the same place? What a great story. And Hallie - wow, what a story - how did you get away from the psycho? I'm curious to know.

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  33. Now I understand why Barbara Peters from the Poisoned Pen bookstore takes authors out to dinner! I had no idea your tour schedules made it so hard to get meals! That must be very difficult. Thank you for sharing these anecdotes, so that fans like me understand what it’s like. I love meeting authors and am always grateful when they come in person. I never know what to say to them, but I’m always excited to meet the person. - Debbie Hoelscher

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