Thursday, March 14, 2024

The Pitfalls of Nostalgia



BREAKING NEWS:  Don't forget, tonight (YES! A SPECIAL TIME!) on Reds and readers on Facebook, our big live Jungle Red happy hour... join us, all of us, to chat about everything and anything: our news, your news, and all of our lives and adventures tonight at 7:00 PM ET on the Reds and Readers Facebook page!


(You can put questions you'd like us to answer tonight in today's comments--and we will answer live!)

 

(Remember, you have to join us to join in the fun, so click here if you are not a member, and we will see you tonight at 7:00.) (Yes we know it's usually the 17th. But tonight it isn't. :-))

 

Will there be giveaways? Of course! And we now return you to our fabulous regular programming.

 

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  In the pantheon of good guys in writer world, Gabriel Valjan leads the pack. He is incredibly generous, thoughtful, and absolutely incredible when it comes to supporting his colleagues. He is astonishing, really, making graphics for his fellow authors, promoting their events, and even suggesting ways to amplify promotion! Amazing amazing amazing. 

 

But not only that, he is a dear and treasured friend. And not only that! He is an incredible writer. Elegant, witty, and thought provoking.  Plus, his cats are legendary.

 

We are so honored to welcome him to Jungle Red today!

 


Things Are Never What They Seem

by Gabriel Valjan

 

The title may suggest something philosophical, but I intended something along the lines of conspiracy theory since I write about the Seventies in my Shane Cleary Mystery series. The cinema of that decade was rife with disaster movies and tales of corruption and conspiracies. To the latter point, see Chinatown, Three Days of the Condor, and the elephant in the room All the President’s Men.

 

The lies exposed, cynicism was a societal norm.

 

In THE BIG LIE, Shane’s fifth appearance, I shine the light on what it was like for a woman to work in a man’s world.

 

Bonnie is Shane’s girlfriend, a lawyer in a Boston Brahmin law firm. She is painfully aware she is a guest inside the manor. She knows that she’s smarter than most of the men in the office, but she is working-class, her diploma says Suffolk Law instead of Harvard, and she is not keen on marriage, which makes her a rebel.

 

She is hard at work when the partners ask her to handle a pro bono class, a case that the firm does for ‘appearances.’ The carrot on the stick before her is that if she does well, they imply that she’ll be fast-tracked for advancement. However, the firm will not allocate her the resource of a private investigator. Hence, her need to ask Shane for a ‘favor.’

 

Anyone with experience in the ‘real world’ will recognize the setup. If Bonnie does well, it’s an ‘Atta girl’ but come promotion time, the sound of crickets. The law firm has nothing to lose, but she does as a woman, as a lawyer in a sexist profession. The Seventies was when feminism hit its stride, but men said Ms. with the sibilants of a snake in their garden.

 

I was a teenager in the Eighties, but my childhood was rooted in the Seventies.

 

Like most children, I observed everything in my environment, and I was aware of inequalities and injustices from a young age.

 

My grandmother needed her husband’s permission at the store and bank to buy a refrigerator. Women were not allowed to have credit cards until 1980. My mother was the first woman manager in a national company, and she lost her job because an efficiency consultant said (despite the evidence) that a woman couldn’t land lucrative contracts and delegate responsibilities. I had a cousin, a teacher and one of the few women with a master’s degree in the 1950s, who would watch male colleagues with less education and experience promoted ahead of her. My sixth-grade teacher, a single woman, lost her job when she became pregnant.

 

This is Bonnie’s world, the sociopolitical milieu of Seventies America.

 

When I hear people nostalgic for ‘the good old days,’ I cringe. I’m convinced that what they mean—but won’t admit to themselves—is they have learned otherwise.

 

Childhood was a time of ignorance, of not knowing work for a paycheck, office politics, and the reality that diplomas mean little and who you know matters more. Childhood is the benchmark to all other experiences. In a word, their memory has become selective and amnesiac. Nostalgia isn’t the warm and fuzzy glow of a Hallmark movie; it’s a failure to look at the historical record.

 

What we have called progress in American society was born of long, arduous legal battles, and violence. Men and women have died or suffered indignities to achieve most of our legal rights. The Civil Rights Movement is an explicit example.

 

A banal and incredulous one? It was once illegal for women to wear trousers in public, and when the law was changed, social acceptance was belated.  Women were not allowed to wear pants in the U.S. Senate until 1993, and Hillary Clinton was the first of the First Ladies to wear trousers for an official portrait.

 


Here is Shane with Bonnie in THE BIG LIE, talking about the Boy’s Club:

 

“Here’s how I see it. They came to you with this case. Slam dunk, they might’ve said. Take a break from contracts, they said. Get back to criminal law, which you love, they told you. They say it’s pro bono, do it and it’ll put you in good with the partners. You could protest and say you’re rusty on criminal law because you’re the contracts gal now. They increase the charm and pour you a glass of Chardonnay and remind you it’s all procedural, open and shut. How am I doing?”


“Martini,” she said softly. “They gave me a martini.”

 

Tell me…when you are nostalgic, is what you remember real and objective, or not? Do you remember what was good—or not?

 

HANK: SO fascinating! I do remember—very clearly—we were not allowed to wear pants to high school. Ever. I graduated from high school having worn only skirts or dresses to class.

 

How about you, Reds and Readers? Are you seeing your past clearly? What inequities do you remember? Do you cringe when people talk about "the good old days"?


And a copy of Gabriel's wonderful THE BIG LIE to one lucky commenter here, and another one on our Reds and Readers page!



Gabriel Valjan is the author of the Roma Series, The Company Files, and the Shane Cleary Mysteries. He has been listed for the Fish Prize three times, shortlisted for the Bridport Prize once, and received an Honorable Mention for the Nero Wolfe Black Orchid Novella Contest. Gabriel has been nominated for the Agatha, Anthony, Silver Falchion Awards, and received the 2021 Macavity Award for Best Short Story. Gabriel is a member of the Historical Novel Society, ITW, MWA, and Sisters in Crime.




THE BIG LIE 

Everything screams he shouldn't take the gig, finding the gangster's lost dog, but Shane can't resist the promised 'bonus.' 

His cat, Delilah, is against it, and his girlfriend, Bonnie, the lawyer, doesn't know. 

Life is neither easy nor simple for Shane. Bonnie asks for his help on a pro bono case, his friend Bill requests a sketchy background check, and a mafia henchman makes a peculiar request. Shane can't help but think his client just might kill him anyway after he finishes the job. 

Does Jimmy know a Truth that will change Shane's life, or is it a Big Lie?




89 comments:

  1. Congratulations, Gabriel, on your newest Shane Cleary book . . . it will be interesting to see how things work out for Bonnie.
    I don't exactly cringe over the "good old days," but I do remember Jean and I being required to have our dresses long enough that, if we knelt on the floor, the hem of our dress would touch the floor. [Maybe the rebellion to that is what made mini-dresses so popular???]

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    1. Amazes me what is considered scandalous. Think of flappers in the Twenties, their hair, dress, and smoking, too. Thank you for stopping by.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:32 AM

      Joan, that brings back such memories! We had exactly the same rules… And I got sent home the day before graduation for having my skirt too short. I remember thinking – – what are you gonna do, expel me?

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  2. Congrats Gabriel on your recent book release. I may have to pick up the book to see how Bonnie fares. I remember in public elementary school, the girls could not wear pants.

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    1. In my elementary school, girls were not allowed lip gloss, any makeup, and a ribbon in their hair ONLY on their birthday. Boys had to wear their daily noose (tie).

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:33 AM


      A ribbon in their hair only on their birthday… I have never heard that before. It sounds almost creepy, or possibly, a very good clue. Right? Someone’s picture in a yearbook has a ribbon?

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  3. Congrats, Gabriel, on your newest book. I remember girls could only wear skirts or dresses with starched petticoats, no matter how cold it was. We had segregated recesses, boys on one side and girls on the other.

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:34 AM

      Oh, separate recess! I had totally forgotten about that!

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  4. Congratulations on the new release, Gabriel! It sounds amazing.

    Good ol' days? Those ended the moment I became old enough to understand what I was seeing in the news.

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    1. Part of growing up is figuring what is real and what isn't in this world, and making sense of it as best as we can. All we can do. Thank you for stopping by.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:34 AM

      The good old days, when nobody had to wear a seatbelt, and there weren’t even seatbelt! And people just threw trash on the highway…

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  5. Congratulations, Gabriel! The new book sounds fabulous. I was in and then out of college in the seventies. And yes, no pants for girls in high school, although we all pressed the limit in how short our mini-skirts were. Horrible the injustices the women in your own family had to endure. And remember the homes for unwed mothers and the shame? A girl in my high school had to drop out because she was pregnant.

    On the other hand, my wise father had wrangled a VISA card for my older sister from our local B of A branch when she started college in 1967, and thereafter each of us got one, so I started building a credit record at a time when few women had one.

    (Hank - I thought the JReds happy hour was to be at 7 on the 17th of each month. Today is the 14th. Has it been changed?)

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    1. I had 7:00 on the 17th, too.

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    2. I was in elementary school in the seventies. There was a Supreme Court decision on dress codes in 1970. We immediately began wearing pants and shorts to school. I had my first credit card at 16, it was never a problem for me to get credit. Soon after, I had a visa from Wells Fargo. My Mom, a bank executive had her own credit starting in the late sixties. It may be that living in California was easier for women than some other states.

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    3. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:35 AM

      Yes, never a dull moment! We changed the date, for various reasons – – all good, don’t need to speculate :-)— and hope you can still come tonight on the 14th! That’s what breaking news is for, right?

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    4. Got it. And thereafter on the 14th, as well (for those of us who set recurring monthly reminders...)?

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    5. Anonymous, I didn’t realize that there was a Supreme Court ruling on dress codes! (Seems like such a silly thing for those “important me” to have spent their time on, but then again, I benefited from that ruling.) Now knowing that, I can determine exactly when I started wearing pants to school. Thanks for clarifying. — Pat S

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    6. Susan Nelson-HolmdahlMarch 14, 2024 at 1:08 PM

      I am the anonymous above. I believe the court ruling was based on a claim regarding discrimination of a class, women, under equal protection snd the Civil Rights Act. There were many other issues impacted , not just dress codes. The ruling was late 1968 or 1970x i haven't had time to look up the name of the decision. I do not remember the c

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    7. Susan Nelson-HolmdahlMarch 14, 2024 at 1:10 PM

      The case being discussed in law school. Once the ruling was announced, we were wearing pants to school within days.

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  6. Oh Gabriel, how I love the Shane Cleary books, have had your newest on advance order forever.
    As for nostalgia, that’s exactly what it is, good times and warm memories. Nothing realistic about it at all in my opinion. But I remind myself daily that we must never forget so many high crimes. The good old days weren’t. so good for many

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:36 AM

      That is a very wise thought, that nostalgia is the way we remember things we loved or that made us happy. I love that.

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  7. Gabriel, congratulations. I do remember the seventies very well. I graduated college in 1969 and throughout my life, my father, a businessman, had smoothed the way. Even though I thought of myself as liberal minded and a feminist, too, I had a lot to learn.

    I became a special ed teacher and my first job paid well for that time. Suddenly, I found that even though my bank knew me, it was not going to give me a loan without his backing. Being single, bank credit cards were not offered to women, but individual stores and gas companies offered them and I opened several to build a credit rating.

    As much as the sixties were the fulcrum for change, the seventies were when our government began to actually enforce many of the laws and pass more to back those up. Fair housing, Title IX, more. The slide now makes me feel ill. Are people really listening to what that bobblehead and his backers are advocating? We have fought for our rights. Are we willing to give them back?

    Your historical series set in the seventies sounds perfect for me. I love your new cover. Looking for your books today.

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    1. A dear friend told me yesterday that on her college in 1969, a girl could be fined for smoking on campus. Credit cards, banking, crazy. To me, the 70s were where the idealism of the 60s went to die. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you spend time with Shane.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:37 AM

      Transition is always difficult, isn’t it? We can only look back and try to judge how we all were at a certain time, and try to understand it, and see how we evolve.

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  8. Congratulations Gabriel! In the Fifties when I was in school I never even thought about wearing pants. But if the weather was very cold or snowy we were allowed to wear pants under our skirts. In college, since I was studied in the home economics department no pants were allowed there either. But those were the rules and it didn't occur to me to try and change them. I'm very grateful to the rebels that did get rules like that changed. I think it was in 1972 when teachers in our school were allowed to wear pants, as long as they looked professional, as in no jeans. This was in New York state; I've no idea how things were in other states.

    Women in pants was just one change. There were other, bigger changes that I'm not sure young women today really appreciate.

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:38 AM

      So true! A lot of us on all sides of this blog were trailblazers in every way. That’s one reason I love talking with young women in journalism schools… To remind them how it used to be.

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  9. GABRIEL: I love the Shane Cleary books. I enjoyed reading an ARC of THE BIG LIE earlier this year. I was a kid in the 1970s so I didn't personally encounter those societal inequalities. My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I left home to go to university at 19. Then she suddenly got a job in the mid1980s.

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    1. Hi, Grace. Fascinating, and what a change that transition must've been for your mom! Thank you for reading the ARC, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:39 AM

      Hi Grace! Always so wonderful to see you!

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  10. Welcome, Gabriel! You know I love Shane and Bonnie.

    I was a small child in the 70s, so I don't remember much. My later childhood and teen years were the 80s, with their own emotionally-fraught times. By the time my mother returned to the work force as an RN - she had been a teacher prior to getting married and having kids - it was "acceptable" women's work, but I do remember some of my schoolmates looking down their noses at me because my mom worked outside the home. Girls in pants were no big deal by then. Mini skirts were all the rage when I was in school, but my mother didn't like me wearing one.

    As Billy Joel said, "The good old days weren't always good..."

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    1. I do think it was the last generation where women could stay at home. Women, like my grandmother worked while the men were away at war, resented somewhat the loss of pride of having their own money. Happy to hear you like Shane. Thank you.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:40 AM

      Oh, that is so fascinating, thinking about your classmates attitude toward your mother. I remember my parents were divorced, and that was considered scandalous. No one else’s parents in my class were divorced.

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    3. Liz, as a child of the 1970s, I remember that my Mom worked full time as a teacher. All of my classmates' mothers worked too. It was unusual for my generation.

      Though my parents were married, my father was in graduate school so someone had to earn a living. My classmates' mothers were divorced and they had no alimony from their ex so they had to work.

      Diana

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    4. My mother worked full-time as a teacher until I was born. Then she made the decision to stay at home. Four years later, when my brother arrived, economics dictated she return to work. And I think she was ready to.

      My school was definitely on the upper middle class side, so yeah, there was a little, "Your mom has to work?" attitude. I never thought anything of it, since both my grandmothers worked, one as a nurse (started in the Navy) and one in the high school (and during WWII at Bell Aircraft).

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  11. This topic is interesting after yesterday’s book club, which for some reason was wild! It was as though spring had sprung in all of us, and we were just alive and really nuts. The before the book topic meandered on to the subject of a local library book club splintering off the normal book list and now reading ‘Banned Books’, which of course devolved into why were and how were books chosen to be banned and should whatever was banned be accepted. The general consensus was that all books deserved to be read as a moment in their time, for if not, how could we understand not only our own backgrounds and history, but why people may reflect what they do. If others do not read of what to us is our story – short skirts, race riots, assassinations, draft dodgers, no credit cards (I got my first in 1970 when I graduated – they were handing them out to graduates), needing to have your husband sign for you – again I was luck and in the early ‘80’s had a bank accept me on my own as a farmer, and gave me credit, then how will we teach others to understand why we are as we are? Does making sourdough bread in a pandemic really give you the feel of struggling to survive the hard winter on a prairie (Little House on the Prairie) or even my grandmother having to make 7 loaves of dense bread that had to feed 9 kids over a week? If we can’t remember, we need to be told.
    Congratulations on your books – they sound interesting.

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    1. Thank you, Margo. When I read about those harsh winters in Little House on the Prairie, I remember the family had to use a rope to walk outside or they'd get lost in the snow and die. Ouch! I'll stay indoors in my footsies.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:44 AM

      If we can’t, remember, we have to be told. Perfect. Exactly! And so agree with you on the sourdough bread :-) during the pandemic, I made rosemary-scented croutons out of hot dog buns. And I joked to Jonathan, that I was “just like the pioneer women”

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  12. Congratulations Gabriel! The Big Lie is such a timely title in this era of multiple realities.

    I clearly remember the year we were allowed to wear pants--midway through 6th grade for me. At my mom's funeral, I told the congregation, "It was a great day for mom when the library finally allowed the librarians to wear pants suits--for mom it meant no more girdles and hose and she was delighted." I can count on one hand the number of times she wore dresses or skirts after that.

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    1. My grandmother wore slacks well into her eighties. Dressed simple but elegant. I learned later the slacks she took as inspiration from Katharine Hepburn. Hope you enjoy The Big Lie.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:44 AM

      Yes, yes, Katherine Hepburn was an inspiration to so many of us! Still is.

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  13. I did think of a couple of things from my childhood/yesteryear that remains true. Music and (musical) artists from those eras are still, in my opinion, superior to current music. And I have a like/hate relationship with social media. I (and many in the psychology field) argue that childhood development is greatly disturbed by it. I am thankful I grew up without it.

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    1. I get it. We take for granted the technological advancements: computers, electronics, etc. As a kid, you probably were your parent's remote, and adjuster of rabbit ears on the TV, too.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:45 AM

      So funny, Gabriel! Rabbit ears! And we could do a whole blog on music, right?

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  14. Those of us growing up in the 50's and early 60's most likely had strict dress code/rules. I remember that girls could only wear dresses or skirts and hair styles were pretty basic and simple. I loved the saddle shoes but they were uncomfortable so when Keds and high top sneakers became in vogue they were more popular.

    In high school girls would roll up their skirts to make them shorter, but by the late 60's fashions were changing radically with the hippy, drug culture and rock & roll scene. In our community surfing was extremely popular and an entire sub culture revolved around the ocean, beach, surf.

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:46 AM

      Oh, and if you lived in Indiana, like I did, we all dreamed of being surfers! But we had no idea. It just sounded cool on the beach boy records.

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    2. I was cool. In the Beach Boys' song Surfin' USA we are mentioned ... "All over La Jolla..."

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    3. In college one of my roommates was from “Redondo Beach, LA” and we were at San Diego State so always sang the “All over La Jolla” part very loudly! (A girl I knew from hs who was at Davis asked me how often I went to the beach and if I surfed! The answers were, “Rarely because it took two buses to get there and no.”) — Pat S

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  15. More of an observation here, but it seems corporate America increases salaries for women, once they figure out they are beyond child-bearing age, BUT women do lag behind men for money, and there's no accounting (pun intended) how they are treated by their peers. I hope people see in the Shane stories, how far we've come and how we have yet to go.

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  16. Gabriel, congratulations! I'm always on the look-out for new series to read, so I have some catching up to do before I get to The Big Lie. It's depressing in so many ways to see a minority have enough power to force us back into "the good old days." WTH, we fought hard to break free from those days! And are still fighting, as Karen In Ohio points out in her daughter's example. (Flora)

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:47 AM

      Exactly!

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    2. Yes, but it is only one exsmple.

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  17. Congratulations, Gabriel! I have known you for years as a kind and generous supporter of authors, but I have not yet read your books. That's about to change!

    Nostalgia. Oh my. I graduated from college in 1974. Cut my teeth on the Women's Movement. Despite holding three degrees (psychology, sociology, and history) and a masters (sociology) I could only get a job as a secretary. Despite my marriage, fending off advances of the higher-ups was a part of daily life--and I was meant to be flattered by the attention. Yet I look back at the growing pains, music, clubs, dancing, and general joie de vie with nostalgia. It was a time of innocence, even if we were girding our loins. And I did love the colorful clothes. Could someone bring back Pucci and Peter Max?

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    1. OMG, a secretarial job after all that hard work. Unconscionable, but common. As for clothes, there are some color combinations my eyes have never forgiven me for seeing them. Hope you enjoy Shane and Bonnie. Delilah is her own woman, even if she's a cat!

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  18. Yes, yes, yes, and very well said, Gabriel. Looking forward to reading your new book! In fact, one of my personal favorites of blogs I have written was years ago -for Jungle Red!- and was about the difference between "nostalgia" and "fact". As in: I was well acquainted with the generation who yearned for the "good old days" of their youth...which the rest of the world called the Great Depression and World War 11. All depends on the glasses you are using, doesn't it?

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  19. I agree. My take on those who endured the Depression is they were traumatized about it, especially their attitudes towards money. Same generation couldn't understand the protests against Vietnam. They saw it as your country called, and you served. No questions asked. Different types of Innocence Lost. Shane deals with aspects of his Vietnam experience in Liar's Dice.

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  20. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:42 AM

    Karen, I truly wonder if we will ever get past that particular in equity. It seems unlikely, I fear. And how can it be?

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  21. Hank Phillippi RyanMarch 14, 2024 at 10:47 AM

    This is so great, you all! I am on my way to a speaking engagement, and will check back in later this afternoon! Love, love, love you all!

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  22. GABRIEL: Welcome to Jungle Reds.

    My Mom taught high school English and since there was no maternity leave, my Mom took "sick leave" for three months to stay home with me the first three months of my life. Luckily, she had a good friend who subbed for her and he was happy to do it for a short time. He went on to become an Author of Historical Fiction. My Mom was able to go back to teaching. Now I know that was very unusual in those days.

    My memories of the seventies were HUGE teletypewriter device for the deaf that looked like the Engima machine code breaker from the Second World War. Only Foreign language movies had English Subtitles. The public library had Open Captioned movies for movies like Guess Who is Coming to Dinner with Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy once a month.

    And I remember that smoking was allowed everywhere, even on airplanes well into the 1990s. By 2000, I think smoking was Not allowed in public areas.

    Now I can text my family and friends on my mobile phone without having to use the cumbersome huge tty or going through the Relay Service (operator would speak from the text you type and they would type what the other person said - unfortunately some operators had poor spelling /grammar).

    Look forward to reading your novel and I hope the woman lawyer can start her own law firm. And yes, I have heard of Suffolk Law in addition to Harvard Law.

    Diana

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    1. The Tracy Hepburn film with a large computer was Desk Set, and Mannix used computers, with those punch cards. Ah, tech. I'd be curious about the number of women-led law firms in that era. You got me (and Bonnie) thinking. Thank you, Diana.

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  23. Agreed. Hank. It's infuriating, especially while men in power are doing everything they can to shove us back into those old boxes.

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  24. Gabriel, you hit the nail on the head. It turns out, consistently, each generation looks back to the good old days... which just happens to be their childhood. Of course, those are the good old days! When you're a kid, you don't have to deal with the real world and its complexities.

    I was a kid and teen in the era you're writing about, but I remember some of those uh-oh moments. My grandmother worried my mom would get fired from her teaching job because she had said, out loud! she was a feminist. (She had a subscription to MS. Magazine - pretty out there in an upstate NY farm town.) She also told me about buying her first house in Montgomery, AL. Despite a large amount of insurance proceeds in the bank and a monthly check as an Air Force widow, she had to have her dad, who lived in that upstate NY farming town, on her mortgage.

    Also, the point of Bonnie's law degree from Suffolk? That's real insider baseball. *chef's kiss*

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  25. Thank you, Julia. I think of "feminism" on TV, on such shows as All in the Family and Maude, where tempers ran high, and people would discuss topics for days. It was different also, how people discuss topics. Then "family" show reverted back to an 50s conservatism in the 80s (my opinion). Hope you get to spend time with Bonnie. Thanks for stopping by.

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  26. Gabriel, congratulations! The dialog in your snippet is pitch perfect!

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  27. Thrilled to see you here, Gabriel, and you post is so on point. I personally experienced so many of those prejudices as a young adult, a woman getting divorced ( in the mid 1980's even!). My good fortune was having women bosses - college presidents - in my first full time jobs who saw the way the world worked for women and emphatically rejected it. Your new book sounds wonderful - congratulations!

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  28. Gabriel, I look forward to reading your books.

    I grew up in the fifties and sixties and was in Catholic schools from kindergarten through high school. We always wore uniforms, of course. My female friends who went to public schools were not allowed to wear pants. Of course, no women or girls ever wore pants to church. In my high school we were allowed to wear thin, plain black headbands. No ribbons or bows of any kind. One year I was the school messenger. I was required to pick up attendance records every morning from each classroom, and drop them off in the principal’s office. She taught a couple of English classes. One day when I walked into her classroom, she berated me in front of the entire class for wearing a headband that had a very tiny bow at the top.

    In college, female students were not allowed to wear pants. Girls who lived on campus had to wear skirts or dresses to the cafeteria. After graduation, it was years before I wore pants to work. I can’t remember if any of my employers had actual dress codes, or if it was something that you were just supposed to know!


    In the town where I grew up, pregnant teachers were not allowed to work past the fourth month. If they left during the school year, they were fined $300! That was a lot of money back then!

    I had a happy childhood. My parents struggled to make ends meet. They still always made us their priority. My mom finally rejoined the workforce when I was in eighth grade. Both of my parents were upset that it was financially necessary for her to get a job. My youngest sibling was in first grade.(I’m the oldest of five.) Her first boss told her that she was NOT to take time off to care for a sick child!! Can you imagine someone saying that now?!

    DebRo

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    1. There's a lot I see and hear in older movies and TV shows that were accepted as 'casual' that makes me cringe. Lest we forget, the Mad Men mentality. The Dolly Parton movie 9 to 5 spoofed the workplace. Hope you get to spend time with Shane and Bonnie.

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    2. Yes...BUT I can also imagine the response! Whoa.

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  29. "Childhood was a time of ignorance, of not knowing work for a paycheck, office politics, and the reality that diplomas mean little and who you know matters more. Childhood is the benchmark to all other experiences. In a word, their memory has become selective and amnesiac. Nostalgia isn’t the warm and fuzzy glow of a Hallmark movie; it’s a failure to look at the historical record"
    So well said.

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  30. My daughter works as a Chemical Engineer, she has always made as much as or more than her male peers. She is only three years younger than your daughter Karen. I think the west coast and California has always treated women equally regarding pay. I worked as a software engineer while in law school, in the late eighties,. I never encountered a pay equity problem, in the male dominated field of software development.

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  31. I went to high school and college in the 70s so am nostalgic about the music and TV shows. I wasn’t aware of the credit card restrictions for women until many years later. I wore pants in high school but don’t think my four-years-older sister was allowed to. I took back on my experiences in the 70s with rose colored glasses. My years working (very late 70s forward) are remembered with much less nostalgia and probably a clearer view.

    Gabriel, thanks for being here today. I’m going to look for the first Shane Cleary book right now. — Pat S

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    1. We can still remember the things we loved..and re-see the things that made us cringe.

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  32. I also work in high-tech and have always made as much or more than my male peers. Same for the women software engineers I've worked with. In our soon-to-be company, over half the senior leadership team is women.

    My daughter has not been shy about her salary demands - she's a paralegal. She graduated in May 2022. She's on her third job and has doubled her salary since her first.

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  33. Back in public grade school girls wore dresses or skirts. We could wear slacks to & from school & at recess, but we had to be ladies in school! I remember getting my first Visa by myself when I started teaching in ‘67.

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  34. I married in the 70s and we had our son in the 70s. But other than that, I think the 70s sucked. Men in authority talked down to us. We were "girls." Men were always paid more for the same job. When we went to a bank as a couple to obtain a loan, I was completely ignored. I could go on and on in this vein but it would just make me mad. I'm sure the sixties had the same issues, but I was younger and not dealing with the workplace. Life and music were more exhilarating. The big blot on it all was learning that the federal government would actually lie to its citizens. I've been a cynic ever since.

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  35. I think some industries are under more scrutiny than others. My daughter started working 15 years ago, with a small company that did a lot of pro bono engineering work for public utilities. She accepted a smaller salary at first because they were doing work she felt strongly about, but then the company was bought out, the corporate culture changed, and her salary base was lower than those in the merged company's other entities. It was a while before she figured out that she was being underpaid compared to others, who were mostly male. She's been playing catch up ever since, although she's catching up more quickly now.

    Also, she was working in Colorado, long before it became a tech center.

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  36. Love this post, Gabriel, and can't wait to get acquainted with Shane and Bonnie. I find it hard to believe that women can possibly want to go back to the "good old days." Maybe they've forgotten? When I wanted to transfer into a good four-year-college, my parents insisted that I first go to secretarial school, so that I'd be able to support myself. (Well, the typing came in handy...) My dad had to cosign on my first credit card in the mid-seventies!

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  37. Question for the Reds tonight: Lucy, how do you manage to live in two different places? What do you do about your house, bills, mail, etc? Pat D

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