JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: It's that time of year when we welcome peoples from all over the US and abroad to Vacationland, i.e., Maine. (If you're planning on visiting, please ignore what I said Monday about it being a cold summer. It's perfect.) We genuinely like to see folks traveling here, loving the same landscape and waters we love, and, to be perfectly honest? we need your money.
(Separate note: we especially love our neighbors from the North, but we understand and empathize with your reasons for not visiting this year.)
However! Having lived for close to four decades in a tourist destination (and for four years in DC before that) I have some dos and don'ts for you that will make the difference between Mainers saying to each other, "Gosh, weren't those nice folks?" and slashing your tires when they see your out-of-state license plates (Ha! Ha! No, we only did that during the early days of Covid.)
Don't feed the sea gulls. Yes, I know they seem beautiful and graceful and that you read Jonathan Livingston Seagull when you were 12. They're rats. Aggressive, feathered rats.
Do merge a half-mile (at least) before the actual merge point. We see you, with your out-of-state plates, zooming past all the Mainers who got into the right lane as soon as they saw the MERGE sign. We are judging the heck out of you.
Don't wear jewelry on the beach. This isn't the Jersey Shore.
Do park in the appropriate spot. Yes, you may have to walk a little farther. But it's probably a lot less expensive than it is where you come from, and trust me, the local cops or sheriff's deputies will be wicked keen to have you towed out of Skip Tarbox's driveway.
Don't try to imitate a Maine accent. Please. I beg you. There are third and fourth generation Mainers who can't do the accent. Neither can you.
Do wear the lobster bib. Yes, it's silly. But that delicious treat is messy, and you don't want to have butter stains sitting on your shirt until you get back home.
Don't show up dressed head to toe in brand new LL Bean clothing. Beat up old LL Bean clothing is acceptable, as is one new item with the rest of your outfit suitably worn, verging on shabby. See: not the Jersey Shore, above.
Do ask how to crack the lobster. The locals next to you are willing to help! We love introducing visitors to our iconic dish.
Don't get to close to the sea in rough weather. We have some lovely sandy beaches. We have a lot more stony, granite-boulder stretches that can be genuinely dangerous under certain conditions. If you see a warning sign, yes, this does mean you.
Do shop like the locals, at Reny's and Mardens. Reny's is "out" as a Maine staple, and you'll actually see people in New York and DC wearing their labeled gear. There are no labels at Mardens, but it has wicked great bargains and a jingle everyone in Maine can sing.
Don't drink and boat. Do you want to come home tired and happy from your vacation? Or do you want to come home in a box? Those lakes are deeper and much colder than you think.
Likewise, Do be aware the ocean is friggin' cold. The Gulf Stream, which makes the Jersey Shore so warm and delightful, is way the heck off the continental slope up here. The average water temperature in August is 61° to 64° (16° to 17°.)
Don't amble across Route One. Like, you don't have to run, but be as brisk as possible. We're trying to get places, people.
Do visit some out of the ordinary locations. Maine is more than the ten mile strip along the Atlantic. Check out a concert in Bangor, or the slow pace in the Lakes Region, or the charming towns near the southern NH border, like Cornish and Fryeburg.
Don't think you can get ahead on Route One by speeding and passing. It's a two lane road, bub. Cool your jets.
Do wear sunscreen! The sun can also kill you, though not as quickly as being foolish around water.
Don't write articles about how quaint and idyllic our life is. There's a whole genre of newspaper commentors who come to Maine and then produce lovely, poetic paeans to the peaceful, authentic way of life and how noble and wise the natives are. Yes, our state motto is "The Way Life Should Be." But it's idyllic because you're on vacation, bub. Come to my house in January and you'll sing a different friggin' tune.
How about you, dear readers? Any suggestions for when we visit your neck of the woods?
Hehehe . . . what great suggestions, Julia!
ReplyDeleteAny suggestions for visitors coming here? Well, I think you've covered it pretty well since here is the Jersey Shore . . . .
Must say though--I grew up on the Jersey shore every summer. We never ever wore jewelry at the beach:)
DeleteThe Jersey Shore can be lovely, and the few places I've been were laid-back and, well, tasteful. That must be the part YOU live in, Joan. :-)
DeleteI definitely don't wear jewelry to the beach, Lucy . . . and there are lots of wonderful things about the shore [the boardwalk is high on my list] . . . .
DeleteYes, I have lived in Ottawa's historic ByWard Market since 2014. It is a popular tourist destination, especially in the summer. There were tens of thousands of visitors in our 'hood during the July 1 Canada Day holiday/long weekend.
ReplyDeleteHere are a few more dos and don'ts to enjoy Ottawa-Gatineau & not annoy the locals.
1. DON'T be a jerk while using the mutli-use pathways!
We have 100 kms of multi-use scenic pathways along the Rideau Canal/rivers. Unlike other cities, there are not separate lanes/markers for runners/walkers vs cyclists & roller bladers so please by nice when sharing the space, especially when passing.
2. DO follow the different driving rules in Ottawa (Ontario) vs Gatineau (Quebec).
We are located right on the Ontario-Quebec border. Many visitors don't know there are different driving rules in Ottawa (Ontario) vs Gatineau (Quebec). For example, drivers CANNOT turn right on a red light in Quebec but you CAN do so in Ontario.
As a non-driver & pedestrian, I see so many close calls every day.
3. DO respect queues
We generally line up and patiently wait to get into stores, restaurants, museums, especially on busy holidays.
4. DON'T drink in municipal parks
Enjoy a nice picnic or BBQ but don't bring or drink alcohol.
P.S. Ottawa just passed a new bylaw last week that allows drinking in 8 designated parks as a pilot project. None of them are in the ByWard Market.
5. DON"T make fun of our Canadian currency
The colourful polymer $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100 bank notes are Canada's legal currency.
They are not Monopoly money. Yes, our $1 loonie and $2 toonie coins are heavy.
Canada got rid of the penny in 2012, so we round up/down the price to the nearest 5 cents when you pay in cash. Don't complain.
Grace, I know you don’t have a driver’s licence so allow me to correct your example in #2.
DeleteIt is allowed to turn right on a red light anywhere in Quebec except on the island of Montreal and in places where a sign prohibits it. For someone like me who lives in the country, I have to remember this when I drive in Montreal.
DANIELLE: Thanks for the clarification about the Montreal exception to the right turn on red light rule. I was there in Montreal this past weekend, and that means some drivers broke the rules and turned right on the red light. Maybe they were from Ontario?!
DeleteAnother one: Don't ride E-Scooters on the city sidewalks! The new e-scooter rental models are supposed to chime loudly if a rider goes from the road onto the city sidewalks or the multi-use pathways, but still some do it anyways.
DeleteWe also have lots of 1-way streets, so don't ride your e-scooter or bicycle in the wrong direction!!
GRACE: Thank you for the tips! What are the rules about smoking in public places?
DeleteI LIKE Canadian currency, Grace! I wish ours was colorful. I have to put on my reading glasses to tell the difference between a five, ten and twenty.
DeleteThanks but I hear many visitors complain the polymer bills are too slippery (true) and you can't fold them like paper bills (also true).
DeleteSolution: use a debit or credit card if you don't like our weird Canadian bills or heavy coins!
DIANA: Most Ontario cities forbid smoking or vaping in indoor workspaces & common areas in apartments, hotels. Smokers can smoke in designated outdoor spaces, usually 3 metres (9 feet) from a building entrance.
DeleteThe City of Ottawa also does not allow smoking on outdoor restaurant patios, pubs, school property, children playgrounds, outdoor recreational facilities etc. The smokers have to stay 9 metres (27 feet) away from these areas.
We first encountered polymer currency in 2009 in Australia. I think it's a brilliant idea. If money goes through the washer you still have it. Maybe not the dryer, though? I like the colors, too.
Deletep.s. And no littering, right? Grace, when I saw the rule about No alcohol in picnic areas, I immediately thought "No littering either".
DeleteThis is spot on! I said, as I'm on my way to your neck of the woods to enjoy a not-so-quiet fourth. Here my request/rule is: Don't set fires in the woods. Please. We have our own lightning which is bad enough. And leash your dog on public paths and trails.
ReplyDeleteHallie, thank you for the reminder. We have leash laws too.
DeleteI love these, Julia! If people come to my general area, don't forget to come to Amesbury. We have a lovely downtown with a river and a waterfall that run through it. We have a great former rail trail to walk on, and so much history.
ReplyDeleteAs in Halley's area, leash and curb your dog. We have no dog parks in my town. And take your trash with you from any of our Parks!
Hallie, not Halley.
DeleteAlso, please do not throw your litter on city sidewalks! We are lucky that downtown Ottawa provides large garbage/recycling bins on every other city block.
DeleteI had to carry my personal trash with me while in Singapore, Taiwan (and Japan). They don't provide public garbage bins for security reasons.
Back In 2019, I remember asking the city of Tokyo to discuss their trash management plan for the Olympics. And they weren’t planning to deploy any additional trash cans, they just expected everyone to behave like a local and carry it back to their hotel. I’ve wondered how that would have worked out if the Olympics had occurred in 2020 with expected attendance.
DeleteLISA: I doubt Japan would have changed their trash mgmt policies, even for the Olympics. As I recall, public waste bins were largely removed after the 1995 sarin gas attacks in Tokyo.
DeleteWe visited Iles de la Madeleines, and were so surprised at all the garbage receptacles everywhere and in many places on the beaches and parking lots. You were not only expected to put leftovers, etc in there, but sort them to the proper container. There were notes above all of them as to how to sort. Should you leave anything on the beach, there was a huge fine, no forgiveness and many trash-cops. Their properties were spotless, and they had good reason to be proud.
DeleteWell-managed public trash containers are great, but I'd rather carry out than see something overflowing and swarming with flies. It's not THAT hard to bring a flimsy bag along for your trash.
DeleteJULIA: IT IS kind of hard to bring a plastic bag for your personal trash here. The Government of Canada’s Single-use Plastics Prohibition Regulations started in 2022. Single-use plastic shopping bags, cutlery, and straws are not allowed.
DeleteMaine (and New England in general) is on my bucket list. I can't believe I still haven't gotten there!
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way, Annette! Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire and Rhode Island in the Northeast, Washington and Oregon in the Northwest, are the only parts of the continental US I have never visited. Though I guess I've really never spent a meaningful amount of time in Mississippi or Alabama either -- just time driving through them.
DeleteCome and visit, Annette and Susan! We'd love to have you!
DeleteAnnette - Northern NE is still dominated by independent book stores - you could probably line up a tour and write your visit off on your taxes.
Julia, a tour is part of my bucket list trip to New England. One of these days...
DeleteBern is also full of tourists (currently sweating in almost 90-degree temperatures and probably wondering where all the snow is!), and we try to be very patient with ours, but they like to walk very slowly down the middle of the road in the Old City. Just because the streets are cobblestoned doesn't mean they are sidewalks! No seagulls here in landlocked Switzerland, Julia, but I'll happily apply your rule about seagulls to our city pigeons, who are also feathered rats, if not so aggressive. I'm particularly aware of American tourists and what I beg of them is to keep their voices down. So many of them get on buses or trains and bellow across the aisles to each other; they shout back and forth in restaurants, making the Italian tourists seem as quiet as mice. It's as if they aren't aware that other people are all around them, living their own lives and trying to have quiet conversations, read a book, or (in the train) nap. Do any of you understand this behavior? Perhaps it's simply that people don't feel the need to be courteous when they're on vacation, but I honestly believe there's something distinctly American about the loudness. I'd like to understand it better.
ReplyDeleteI agree about the loud American issue. My husband and I just spent 3 weeks in Denmark with our youngest son and family. I begged my husband (who’s a very loud speaker) to tone it down. The Danes are quiet people and while most everyone was very friendly and helpful I did notice that we stood out sometimes because of our loudness.
DeleteI can’t explain it, but you reminded me of when we were visiting Sydney in 2004. Lipton Iced Tea was running an ad campaign that among other things promised that it was “as refreshing as a quiet American.”
DeleteIt’s not necessarily American, and I won’t name names here in public, but there are certain states here on the East Coast that seem to produce a high concentration of loud/obnoxious talkers/people. They spring up here in peaceful Maine every summer and we have some fun nicknames for them. It’s annoying and oftentimes makes going out in public bring out my less-than-tolerant self when I am stuck in line or at restaurants with them. I don’t want to get myself all cranky feeling this morning thinking about it so I’ll go back to counting down the weeks until Labor Day when they return to their home states (they also show up on some of the ski mountains here in the winter as well, but we have a few mountains where fewer of them ski. That’s where we have our ski passes.) It is actually one of the reasons we love living in Maine in the winter. There are much fewer obnoxious people than elsewhere in the country. It’s relatively peaceful here outside of the summer months. Inside voices people! I wish I could afford a billboard down in Kittery with this statement!
DeleteI think Americans are generally (not all by any means) loud speakers, Kim. Maybe when you have a whole continent to fill up, you shout more?
DeleteIs there still a law forbidding music after midnight? No guitar music playing allowed after midnight? A relative travelled to Bern in 1962 and played guitar music outside with friends at midnight. The police in Bern said it was against the law.
DeleteKim, I have a curious question. Would the locals object if the tourists communicated in Sign Language instead of talking with their loud voices?
Hi Diana. Sorry i'm only answering you today--I didn't see your message yesterday. Laws about quiet at night were much stricter in 1962 than they are today, but individuals (or businesses, like clubs and restaurants) still can't make noise over a certain decibel level, especially after 10 (weeknights) or 11 (weekends). Details vary from location to location, but it in 1962 I'm sure it would have been against the law to play any kind of music at midnight if it was near where people were sleeping. If it was in the middle of a large park with no one around except those who wanted to listen, then the police were being officious. As for sign language, I can't imagine anyone objecting to that; I see local people signing vigorously in buses, in restaurants, on the streets, etc. , so why shouldn't tourists sign?
DeleteI live in Florida, the land of the weird, from the governor's office on down. Worse, I live on the Florida Panhandle, a.k.a MAGA-Central. For me there is only one rule: DO try not to cry. Consider it a penance.
ReplyDeleteI know, it's really sad right now Jerry:(
DeleteHugs from Maine, Jerry. I can only imagine.
DeleteJerry, we are all in trouble. The sensible among us join you in your feelings.
DeleteDo not stop abruptly to gawk up a tall building because there are people walking behind you trying to get to work or an appointment.
ReplyDeleteDo not talk in threes - sidewalk can accommodate two people walking side by side
Do not stop in the middle of traffic to gawk at whatever because the cars will hit you
Do ask for directions - NYers are helpful to get you to your location
Dru, your first rule made me laugh, because of my mother. I took her and all three daughters to NYC for Easter weekend, many moons ago. Mother kept stopping in the middle of the sidewalk... to take pictures of planes flying over. (Long before 9/11.) What was so unusual about that? Who knows.
DeleteDo not "talk" in threes should be "walk"
DeleteDru Ann, I taught my kids all those rules when we visited NYC when they were young, and I'm happy to say they all stride briskly along the sidewalk like natives, now!
DeleteI live in Lake Placid, another tourist destination. No one in Lake Placid visits Main Street during the height of the summer or winter season, due to tourists and zero parking. This means we can't visit our independent bookstore or tiny library without pain. However, you, staying in town, should flock to Main Street and spend your money.
ReplyDeletePlease, if you come for the Ironman with your bike that cost more than most of the locals make in six months, DO NOT RIDE IN THE CENTER OF THE LANE. All our main roads are twisty 55 mph highways, most of them no passing zones, and it is maddening to wait behind a rich entitled bicyclist. Or a pack of them. Every year I worry there will be a death due to road rage.
Please, if you come to hike our beautiful mountains in the summer, choose a peak off the beaten path. I am grateful I hiked all the mountains around my home forty years ago. These days in the height of the season they each see 500 hikers a day. Authorities have had to arrange shuttle buses to the base of the trails.
Please, if you come to hike our beautiful mountains in the shoulder seasons (spring: May to early June; fall, September to early November) be prepared for the possibility of snow. I had an outdoor wedding September 8, 1984, and had beautiful Indian Summer weather. My best friend married exactly a year later and had 38°, lashing winds, and freezing rain. All our kids wear Halloween costumes that fit over snowsuits. Our Forest Service rangers are constantly rescuing hikers from away who don't understand how mountain weather can turn on a dime. Due to cell phones, fewer die, but the danger persists. ALWAYS CARRY A LIGHTER AND EXTRA CLOTHES including a wool hat, wool socks, and an anorak.
Please, if you come to hike our beautiful mountains in the winter, come not only prepared with supplies but NEVER HIKE ALONE. There was a tragic death of an experienced young hiker in November when we had an unexpected snowfall that amounted to four feet at higher elevations. The rescue attempt involved dozens of people and went on for days in whiteout conditions before it was finally called off. His body was discovered just off the trail this spring.
Finally, please, if you come to visit, do not buy a second home here and turn it into an AirBnb. Airbnb has nearly destroyed our town. Our local businesses, for labor, and schools, for students, are in trouble. You will find that these days most of our hotels are staffed by foreign students here on J-1 visas and housed by the hotels themselves. Other local businesses have had to suspend services.
(Selden)
Gee, I'm sorry I rambled on so long! I had not realized. (Selden)
DeleteAirBnb has destroyed a lot of places. It was a great idea when it was couch surfing/extra bedroom/house swapping, but no longer.
DeleteEven here on Lake Erie, AirBnB has gobbled up homes and apartments that we need to house ordinary people! 400+ listings for vacation rentals, and then posts by people urgently seeking housing--I hate this!
DeleteThank you, Selden, for pointing out why I set my mysteries in your locale - the mountains and the weather can actually kill you, people.
DeleteAlso, AirBnB has made our beautiful city of Portland almost uninhabitable, in that so much of the limited housing stock (it's on a peninsula) has been bought by investors it's nigh-on impossible for locals to buy in now.
Julia, my daughter lives in Portland and pays an outrageous rent for a bedroom in a shared space. (Selden)
DeleteFrom another Adirondack lover I say Selden, amen. The best summer week in those mountains is the week after Labor Day. But it is a non diversified tourist economy and young families can't afford to live there. Without the flatlanders, there is no community for anyone.
DeleteHere are a few gems about Cape Cod: there are two bridges to access Cape Cod. Know ahead of time that you will sit in traffic for hours. The ocean has tides, high and low. At some beaches, the water isn't deep enough for serious swimming at dead low tide. Plan accordingly. Horseshoe crabs and green-eyed flies are facts of life. Read the warning signs, particularly at ocean beaches with no lifeguards. Sharks are real.
ReplyDeleteMargaret, I have many friends in Mass, and I swear they all engage in competitive bragging about who was stuck the longest in traffic on Rte 28.
DeleteNot me - I will only go to the Cape after Labor Day to before Memorial Day!
DeleteLong Beach is not a tourist destination (compared to many other SoCal areas), so I don’t have much to complain about.
ReplyDeleteIf you are here for a convention, please walk (or take one of the mobility options, some of which are free) a couple of blocks to patronize some local businesses. Don’t believe the hype that Long Beach is scary and eat all of your meals at the convention center. Our local businesses need you!
Our beach path is more congenial since they expanded it to have a separate lane for walkers and joggers, but if you are walking across it? Please look first. Don’t just step into traffic, then be surprised when cyclists curse you. And if you rent a pedal surrey, please stay to the right instead of weaving drunkenly across the entire path. Oh! And don’t put seed or bread crumbs ON THE BIKE PATH unless you want me slap you about the head with the mangled corpse of the bird that just flew into my front wheel.
Lisa, we got to visit Long Beach when Bouchercon was there and it was lovely! I mean, I also like seeing active ports and shipping, because it means jobs - people who don't live on an ocean may feel differently. We stayed at the Queen Mary and didn't eat any of our meals at the Convention Center, I'm happy to say! Oh, and the public transportation was GREAT.
DeleteLisa, I lived in Long Beach about ten years, at first in Bixby Knolls and then in Belmont Shore. Worked at Long Beach Memorial.
DeleteLISA: I agree with JULIA. I visited Long Beach twice, including during the 2014 Bouchercon.
DeleteI thought it was a nice area, and did not eat anywhere near the Convention Center.
I used the A line light rail train to go from downtown L.A. to Long Beach numerous times.
I was only told to avoid stopping in Compton (north of Long Beach)!
You are correct that I will probably not be visiting Maine this summer (never been there as a tourist, once was there as a ‘shopper’ looking for cheap shirts for a boy friend 1973. Trunk was checked for guns and dope – they never even noticed the shirts!) Not the politics and fear keeping us home, but too lazy to go.
ReplyDeleteShould I get any energy to visit anywhere, I could visit there, if for no reason but to see how it was not ‘home’. Therefore, I have comments and questions.
I would like to go by the Cat – just because I like a ferry drive. It would also allow me to visit Yarmouth in NS to board, as I have not been there either, and I like travelling by ferry boat. We travelled by hovercraft from Nanaimo to Vancouver in BC, and it was a lovely crossing.
How do you eat your lobster? Cleaver cut before being plated or use the scissor clippers – I generally detest nut crackers. Butter, I hope. What other foolishness is offered with the meal – for me a lobster supper contains all the mandatory food groups – lobster, butter, beer. End-of.
I would also like to try a crabcake, as although I think you have the same lobsters as we do, I think there is something small and sounding magical sounding about your crabcakes. On my bucket-list (crab-bucket, get it?)
The water outside is 7C (44F) today. I am not going in. The lobsters like the cold though.
We can play a game of shifty any time you want – and write comparison mushy essays. You visit me, I’ll visit you and we can do the tops of the pops. That invitation is available to anyone. Note Julia’s advice on the LL Bean and fancy jewellery – also not required (could be mocked) here.
Finally, can you give me Skip Tarbox’s number so that I can warn him that we are coming and may want to park in his driveway.
Margo, as promised, I am happy to answer your questions!
Delete1. I like the Cat, it's how we go to NS. I spend a little more for a cabin because I like a place to relax away from the casino-goers.
2. Ross used to tear the lobsters open as a show of strength, but at an eatery, you'll get the body cut open, served with nutcrackers. Ask for the claws, etc. to be scissor cut if you prefer.
3.Lobster, butter, corn on the cob and beer.
4. The crabcakes are good, but I have to be honest, as someone who used to live on the Chesapeake, they don't hold a candle to those crabcakes.
5. As you know, ocean swimming is for small children and tough old birds who attribute living into their nineties to their salt water exercise. All others are excused.
6. I've noticed NS and NB are a lot like Maine, probably because all the Maine loyalists fled there in the 1780s!
7. Just tell Skip Julia said you were okay, deah.
If you come to Nova Scotia, Cape Breton in particular, keep in mind that life is short – we take our time, and so should you. Also, and possibly #1 – we will talk to you. Everywhere. For a long time. About nothing. As for directions – well take the road there, go right at A Rose’s house that she sold to Fred 25 years ago, 3 kms to the old barn that may be gone now, watch for the flashing light and there she blows. Fill y’er Boots!
ReplyDeleteMargo, I used to joke about giving directions that way when I first came to Maine in '87. Now I find myself doing that exact same thing! If you don't know it's the social hall that replaced the old congregational church, do you really need to get there?
DeleteThat sounds like Pittsburgh directions. "Go straight until you see the old Smith place and turn left."
DeleteWe are home to both Shores & Islands (that's our marketing schtick) and Cedar Point Amusement Park. Which means we usually get inundated with out-of-staters in the summer. So yeah, not much I can add to your on-the-mark list, Julia. Except, yes, we're locals, but we're not peons at your beck and call--try to remember to pack your manners when you come, assuming you had any to begin with.
ReplyDeleteSadly, it seems as though manners are but a distant memory in society these days… we had manners lessons in home-economics class when I was growing up.
DeleteI sadly agree, Stacia. I spent time yesterday with friends who have a bright and active almost-six-year-old and was so pleased and impressed at the gentle but firm way they were teaching him good manners. We need more parents like that!
DeleteBack in the '70s, Oregon had the James G Blaine society (Blaine was a Mainer who visited every state in the union except Oregon) which tried to discourage people from moving to Oregon. They were given a boost by Governor Tom McCall, who basically said, "Come visit, but don't stay.". There were a number of clever T-shirts and slogans such as "Don't Californicate Oregon" and "Oregonians don't tan in the summer, they rust."
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking visitors to our beautiful Columbia Gorge could use a little advice--stay on the trails! Don't go up there drunk, please, one wrong step and you could fall a great distance. Keep your dogs on a leash--you don't want them to go over the edge either.
Your merging advice is interesting--I tend to merge early, but the expert advice is to 'zipper in'--that is, use both lanes as long as you can. There's even an ad on TV from ODOT right now that basically says, "wait to merge".
Yes! Our niece's husband was the director of the Department of Roads in Nebraska for several years. His mantra for merging is "it's a zipper".
DeleteI know it's actually much more efficient as a zipper, it's just we're very polite in Maine, and consider those zooming to the merge point to think they're more important than everybody else. I suggest a GREAT book on the topic and much more: TRAFFIC by Tom Vanderbilt.
DeleteIn Pennsylvania there are signs "use both lanes to merge point." Sadly, very few pay attention.
DeleteIn Florida the zipper is truly undone. Instead people zoom right up to the merge point and will push you off the road if you don't let them in.
DeleteMargo, my husband and I have talked about visiting the Maritimes for years. If we ever do I'll let you know so we can get lobster together! And you have a standing invitation to come visit Cincinnati, if you are ever so inclined to venture south of the border.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of our fair city, I have no idea what tourists vs. residents might do, but way too many area denizens are actually afraid of going to our utterly beautiful downtown, and I wish they weren't because it's a wonderful place. There are well over 150 murals painted on downtown buildings (and a bit further afield, too), along with a lot of other public art of all kinds. Be sure to linger at Fountain Square and admire the sculptures around the Tyler Davidson Fountain, featuring the lovely Genius of Waters. Take time to walk a block or two to the Contemporary Arts Museum, in a building designed by the late Zaha Hadid.
We have an entire riverfront area, Freedom Park, devoted just to public art and walking/biking trails. In fact, most of the riverfront downtown is a delight, with a carousel, the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center museum, a meditation maze, the Serpentine Wall, a riverboat, and lots of other unique attractions, alongside three sports arenas.
Our vibrant restaurant scene pairs well with our cultural arts one. The Aronoff Center, Playhouse in the Park (with exquisite views atop Mt. Adams), historic Music Hall, Shakespeare Theater, Cincinnati Art Museum, Taft Museum, Taft Theater, and lots of free outdoor concerts, as well as the Riverbend concert venue, joined in recent years by a couple other concert venues in the area.
Cincinnati is a walkable city, and has the easy to use Connector streetcar, should you want to travel quickly between the riverfront and either the casino, or the historic Findlay Market district. Buses or Ubers will get you further afield, to Clifton to walk around the campus of University of Cincinnati, for instance. A ride is necessary to visit the Cincinnati Museum Center, situated in the historic Union Terminal, where the Amtrak station is still located, or to the Cincinnati Sign Museum, a quirky collection of signs of all kinds. I haven't even mentioned our many beautiful parks, or the Krohn Conservatory.
Karen, I love your city! Our son went to Xavier University and had his first job after college in Cinci, so we've spent a fair amount of time there. Your downtown area is, in fact, beautiful. There's a unique feel to Cincinnati, quite different from the vibe of Columbus. We had great times there!
DeleteKaren, Ross and I went to the Bouchercon in Cincinnati, and we loved the city! It was a complete surprise, because let's face it, there are a lot of jokes about the city. My only complaint is that the three major cities in Ohio ALL begin with C, and I keep confusing them.
DeleteSusan, I agree about Columbus vs. Cincinnati. We have a grand old (but hip) lady vibe, while Columbus is more of a swinging single. Cleveland is a bit of both.
DeleteJulia, I-71, which connects the three cities cattycorner across Ohio, is known as the 3-C highway here. Dayton, Toledo, and Athens are left out!
As someone living in a busy tourist destination on the opposite coast, the only thing I'll disagree with is your advice to not use the full merge lane. If you come to California, please drive in the entire merge lane and alternate in zipper fashion when you get to the end! Merging too soon and blocking both lanes creates traffic jams behind you and prevents other people from reaching their turn-offs that are before yours. If you all can do that here, I'll remember to leave that lane empty when I come to Maine!
ReplyDeleteFair enough, Cathy! I've driven around LA and Orange counties and I was honestly surprised how, well, professional so many drivers were.
DeleteJulia who or what is Skip Tarbox and his driveway? Love you tips and love Maine especially Bar Harbor.
ReplyDeleteAnon, Skip Tarbox is a Maine version John Doe. His first name, after his great-great grandfather, is something like Wilfred, so everyone knows him as Skip. The Tarboxes (real name!) have been in Maine since the 1600s.
DeleteI guess the only thing I will say about visiting Columbus is that even though we are in the center of an increasingly red state, please don't think that you will see a lot of signs of that in Columbus. It is a defiantly blue island in that red state. People tend to know us for being the home of one of the nation's (and world's) largest universities (with a fierce football loyalty), and the home of a world-class zoo. Other little facts that might surprise are that we have the second highest Somali population outside of Somalia, the 15th largest LGBTQ+ population in the US, and students from 104 different countries in Columbus City Schools.
ReplyDeleteI guess that sounds more like a tourist come-on than rules for visiting -- sorry about that!
I’ve flown through Columbus for decades to visit family, but never spent time there. Last summer I was in nearby Dublin to see a college friend and was impressed by how lovely the Riverside Crossing Park area was.
DeleteSusan, I made several visits to Columbus while on book tour, and took some time to walk around. I was impressed by how interestingly diverse it was.
DeleteI am loving every bit of this! Hilarious! Here in Boston, a “coffee regular” is coffee with cream and two sugars.
ReplyDelete“Merge” is not in our vocabulary. Just go, and remember the other guy is going to just go to. And probably not going to let you in. If you don’t like it, take an Uber. And close your eyes.
In Massachusetts, a yellow traffic light means go fast. A red light means go even faster. And a green light means stop, because the other guy is going through the red light.
Awesome.
Xxxx
Oh, yes, we have a special word from drivers from Massachusetts, Hank... :-D
DeleteOh, yes we do! And we had that same word when I lived in Florida. It's so common, it appears in one of my books.
DeleteIn CT we always blamed drivers from New York and New Jersey.
DeleteMy theory of Boston drivers (developed over the year I was forced to live there): walk to your vehicle, open the door, sit in the driver’s seat, close the door, fasten your seatbelt if you want to reach your destination still seated, insert key in ignition, start car, CLOSE YOUR EYES and DO NOT OPEN until you have reached your destination. Elisabeth
DeleteDon’t forget many of the drivers in Boston learned their driving skills(or lack of) elsewhere then moved to Boston for school or work so native Bostonians cannot be totally blamed.
DeleteI was hit by a bicyclist and have come close to being mowed down by bicyclists who go through red lights and ignore pedestrians in the crosswalk. There is one intersection I cross every day where I have to watch out for bicycles not cars when I have the walk light.
Hank ~ How about our rotary system which CAN work if used correctly but that never happens. Yield signs are frequently ignored because it's a race as to who can reach the rotary entrance before the other driver who is already going around the rotary. Oh well...after reading all these do's and don'ts I feel as a Masshole I have no place to go...I'm American & from the East Coast so I must be loud, I'm from MA so I must be a horrible driver, and to make matters worse I'm a greater Bostonian who moved to a town whose residents don't seem to like "outsiders". (those not born in that town). So we've been earmarked by some residents as "ignorant transients." What's a gal to do if not even the Massholes support each other? :-) I guess I need to find a private island or another planet...lol.
DeleteJULIA: Are there any walkable towns in Maine where you can walk everywhere ?
ReplyDeleteWe have lots of Spare the Air days here in California. DO NOT USE THE FIREPLACE. I have not used the fireplace in 20 years.
NO SMOKING in restaurants or any public places.
NO JAYWALKING , though some people break that rule. My heart almost stopped when I was driving because I had some close calls when I almost hit a jaywalker. Luckily I drive slow.
RECYCLING - separate your glass from your plastics. Cardboards are in separate bin. Discarded food goes into the compost bin.
BE POLITE.
RACISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AT ALL.
THERE ARE MANY ACCESSIBLE PLACES FOR PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS.
MIND YOUR P'S AND Q'S.
SOCIAL DISTANCING AT 6 FEET.
I like your rules, Diana! And yes, Maine is known for its walkable small towns and cities. Portland, the largest city in the state only has 64,000 residents!
DeleteI spent several days in Portland a few years ago.
DeleteIt is a walkable city, there are a few slightly hilly areas but not very steep.
There are a lot of things to do such as The Portland Art Museum which has an excellent collection and if you like boat rides there are several options for trips to nearby harbor islands. A lot of small shops have unique items. There are a number of good restaurants offering a wide variety of cuisine.
There is good train service from Boston if you don’t want to drive and just want to take a day trip, but I would recommend at least a couple days
Tampa Bay and the Gulf of Mexico are not aquariums. Check the water pollution reports before you go swimming. If signs are posted 'no lifeguard on duty' and you do not know what a rip tide is, don't go wading.
ReplyDeleteRegarding parking: Do not park in fire lanes. (I'm talking to you, Ms. Virginia, who sat in the driver's seat right outside my bank!) Do you have money to burn? I don't.
Yes, you can buy fireworks here. Yes, we also have one of the best trauma centers in the U.S. Be warned. Please note: guns are not fireworks. A bullet that goes up also goes down.
And finally, it is the rainy season in Florida. Why are you here now?"
Yes, people, listen to Coralee. It's Maine in the summer, Florida in the winter! (There are so many FL snowbirds in Maine it's a stereotype up here.)
DeleteWe have a new park that has opened right outside the library I use. Folks bring relatives to the new park to show it off. They seem to think the library is also new (nah, it is 21 years old, you just never use the library) and is actually an indoor park. The come in talking loudly and gazing about as if they are in Disneyland for the first time. Please folks - READ THE ROOM! Oddly enough, there are folks who come here to read, study, work, be tutored, etc. Respect that and use your indoor voices and don't RUN! We need walking feet in here.
ReplyDeleteYour pets are not allowed in here unless they are service animals. I'm sorry Fifi is overheated, perhaps you should have taken her to a park with mature trees and brought along water for her to drink, or just stayed home until it cools down this evening.
No, kids, you my not bring your bikes, scooters, volleyballs, rackets, etc. into the library or use the ceiling lights as a volleyball net. Your parents will not be happy when they have to pay to replace broken lights and damaged books and furniture.
No, parents this is not a daycare where you can leave the kids and chat with friends as if you are outside. Your kids are not a librarian's responsibility. They are yours. Act like it or leave.
Tables are not for climbing, sitting or jumping off of. Seats are for sitting not flipping over the back or jumping up and down on them.
Bookshelves are not a jungle gym and your precious Suzy is not allowed to climb up them, nor is it cute to watch her pull books off the shelves she can reach and fling them into the aisle. Damage those books and you replace them. Do you let Suzy do this at home? You do? Well we're a bit more disciplined here and that is not amusing since we have to pick up what your Suzy flings because you are so busy filming her cuteness and then leaving the mess to a librarian or volunteer to inspect for damage and reshelve.
Please do not send granny and grandpa with the kids to check out books unless they understand how to use the checkout kiosks and have your library card.
Finally, please review the Code of Conduct that you acknowledge to follow when you sign up for that library card. It covers all of the above, and more.
And yes, I have witnessed every event/behavior listed above. Suffice to say that I can't wait for summer to be over and kids to be back in school! I want my happy place back. -- Victoria
Small-town, part-time library clerk here and I can attest to all of the above behaviors. Plus, if your kid crawls through/pulls over the puppet theater, I can guarantee they will get hurt.
DeleteOh, Victoria, we could do a whole WEEK of posts just about libraries, but I'll leave that to Jenn.
DeleteOh, Victoria. As someone who grew up in libraries and took my children always to libraries, this makes me very sad to read. How terrible. (Selden)
DeleteI forgot to mention the woman who defecated on the floor between the wall and the toilet or the toilet paper thieves. It boggles the mind. -- Victoria
DeleteGreat tips. For the Laurel Highlands:
ReplyDelete- wear sunscreen
- follow the safety signage if you decide to hike in one of the many beautiful parks
- don't feed the bears (Black bears are not the same as Grizzlies, but they aren't Winnie the Pooh, either)
- use tick repellant and hike in long sleeves with long pants tucked into your hiking boots (Lyme disease is real, y'all)
Yes! Deep Forest Off is a necessity, folks!
DeleteWe are in Sydney, Cape Breton Island eating PEI steamed mussels and drinking local beer and cider. And listening to a local folk singer!
ReplyDeleteForgot to post my name!
DeleteThat sounds like the best of summer to me, Alicia!
DeleteAlicia, you are 20 mins from where we live. Let me know if you want to visit! 902 5772426. Home all day (weeding) sausages for supper.
DeleteLOL! Wonderful. You pretty much covered everything, except, don't clog up the counters and aisles in the Hannaford pointing to your friends and saying, "we have that at home, too" just put it in your trolley and move on. Oh, and don't ask for a special order rush for delivery tomorrow and get snippy with the manager when he tells you it can't be done. Even if they do it that way in Boston, we are the end of the road here.
ReplyDeleteWe used to stop by one of the small Hanneford's on the way to take Virginia to Limestone, Kait, and I heard tourists marveling at how wee and quaint it was more than once...
DeleteI live in a Boston area suburb and don’t see many tourists even though this weekend especially is a prime tourist time for people visiting the historic sites and the Boston Pops Fourth of July concert.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of the history of the area and would like to emphasize the do’s which also apply to residents.
Remember that this area is historic and has a lot of structures that may be different from what you are used to. Read street signs, especially when there are bridges. If you are driving, be aware that some of the roads have bridges with a low clearance. Make sure your vehicle can go under without getting stuck and having the roof peeled off like a sardine can.
This happens constantly especially with people who rent moving trucks. It destroys the vehicle and ties up the traffic.
Do be aware of your surroundings when you are crossing the street. As previously mentioned, many drivers have their own interpretation of what the traffic lights mean. Stop signs are often ignored.
Bicycles have bike lanes on many streets, but many bicyclists find the sidewalks or pedestrian crosswalks more convenient and they don’t think they need to obey the traffic laws when people are crossing.
If you are going to the Fourth of July concert consider that some people may actually be there to hear the music and don’t start screaming when the 1812 overture begins. If they are sitting on the ground they prefer not to have someone step on them. (two of the reasons I no longer go.)
Also, be aware that fireworks are illegal in MA.
Many of these does and don’ts apply to residents as well as tourists. It’s usually the regular citizens who stop in the middle of the sidewalk or walk with their head down with their eyes glued to their phone and force the person walking in the opposite direction to stop.
I’ve found most tourists pleasant and considerate and appreciate where they are.
I, in turn, welcome them and try to suggest visiting places the guide books may not mention.
I like meeting people from other places and want them to have a good time.
It’s the time of year for people to have a chance to be outside and enjoy themselves just be considerate of others so everyone can have a good time.
Happy Fourth of July.
Well said, Anon! Happy Fourth!
DeleteAs I live in the town that is sometimes referred to as the "Gateway to the Cape", my main advice to tourists is to STAY THE HELL HOME! We're tired of not being able to go over the bridges from May to October without running into the kind of traffic that looks like everyone's trying to flee a zombie apocalypse.
ReplyDeleteBut if you insist on coming (and may your soul be thrice cursed for doing so)...follow life's rule #1 - Don't be a dick.
Also, stop lighting off fireworks...they are illegal here in Massachusetts and some of us have to get up in the pre-dawn hours to go to work. I don't need Aaron the A-hole thinking it's a good idea to set off a bunch of cherry bombs at 2am.
If I let you cross in front of my car, haul ass. Like Julia said, I've got places to go and crossing the street is not a leisurely stroll through a park kind of thing.
Also, Julia's right about seagulls. The only acceptable way to enjoy a seagull is to listen to the classic Bad Company song "Seagull". - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-HHJVPxvqI&list=RDQ-HHJVPxvqI&start_radio=1
Don't act as if you're somehow entitled to special treatment because you aren't from here. You are not more important than those of us who live here all year round.
That's the attitude I think everyone who lives in a tourist area has, Jay. Like, happy to have you visit! But just because we live here we aren't your backdrop scenery.
DeleteFireworks, I think, are illegal in South San Francisco in California.
DeleteThey are illegal in most cities in the Bay Area. However, the law is s ignored snd is not enforced.
DeleteFeeling nostalgic this week, So “don’t feed the seagulls” hit my heart. Although from the other end of the Atlantic coast, Dad scorned them as “Florida pigeons”. Take good care,All. Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteElisabeth, I've never heard that phrase before and I love it!
DeleteI live in San Diego so we get our fair share of tourists each summer. I am in a community north of the downtown/Petco Park/Sea World/Zoo areas so my routine of going to the grocery store or running errands isn’t impacted too much. On occasion I do venture out into the more crowded areas and I believe the rules listed above apply here, too. Don’t drive too slowly on the freeways or too fast anywhere. Be polite. Pick up your trash, especially on the beach.
ReplyDeleteWe live in an area known as Christmas Card Lane during December. One thing we are always muttering at that time of year is that we LIVE here. Don’t stop in our driveway with your stroller to feed your child when we’re just trying to get into our garage. Don’t throw your trash on our lawn. In other words, be considerate.
Happy Independence Day, everyone! Stay safe. — Pat S
The same to you, Pat!
DeleteMy first words of advise are "Don't just the wineries when you come to wine country." Okay I know that makes no sense and if you are here for the crush, fine, go to the wineries I mean the smell is intoxicating and you don't even have to drink the wine to get "intoxicated" because of the smell. But find the coast, find the Russian fort, find the beautiful redwood trees, go for a walk in that cathedral of great tall preserved forests Follow the winding, narrow roads but watch out for the bicyclists, they are NARROW, winding roads with steep dropoffs. After you find Russia fort, the next day, look for Spain or should I say the last Spain mission, which was established after Mexico independence from Spain. There are wineries between these locations.
ReplyDeleteGo ice skating in Santa Rosa at a pretty little Swiss chalet rink where Robin Cousins and Peggy Fleming and Skippy Baxter and many other notables have all skated. Even Snoopy has skated there. Then go to the museum, across the street and find the "kite eating tree." Find the fabulous food trends in Healdsburg. We have geysers. There are wineries there too. Don't be in a rush. Stop enjoy. It can be cold at the coast, don't swim in the ocean too cold. It can be hot in Healdsburg, swim only were it is safe on the river, preferably where there are lifeguards.
I could go on and on....
Oh yes, one more little thing: NO FIREWORKS! Some cities have sanctioned shows, though Cloverdale is has been cancelled this year because the fireworks warehouse explosion and fire on Tuesday in Yolo county.
DeleteI love your recommendations, Deana!
DeleteOh, Julia, I agree with everything you wrote. One other thing I’d add is avoid Red’s in Wiscasset. Go across the street to Sprague’s. Fewer crowds and better food, IMHO.
ReplyDeleteAZ here! Don't come here in summer just don't. If you do drink lots of water but do not under any circumstance go hiking. People die every year. Don't do it. See you in November!
ReplyDeleteI remember going to Arizona in the summer. Very hot. I remember staying at the Ramada Inn and I think they had a swimming pool? I was a young child at that time.
DeleteAh, you do make me want to come visit. I've found most people are lovely everywhere I go . . . hmm, advice? Just be nice, and that's how most other people will treat you.
ReplyDeleteI'll toss in advice from a book for women traveling alone: When in any difficulty, join a group of women and let them know what's happening or what you're unsure of -- they'll help. <3
-- Storyteller Mary
More smiles for this post, Julia! One of my great joys as a publisher’s rep to independent bookstores in New England, was selling to all the wonderful bookstores in Maine, and spending as much time as I could there. I think Maine is truly one of the great states in the U.S. Looking forward to my next visit!
ReplyDelete