A Modest Proposal

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING

We live in dark times. No, I'm not talking about politics, or North Korean nuclear missiles, or the fact that every single man in a position of power seems to be a lecherous creep. I'm talking about the return of my nemesis, Standard Time. It's been a week since we "fell back"- how are you feeling about it? Me, I hate it.

In southern Maine, where I reside, the sun sets today at 4:22 p.m. Of course, when you live in a land completely covered by a) trees and b) hills, sunset is a pretty fluid concept. The last I usually see of the Helios' chariot (Look, Mom, my liberal arts degree at work!) is four-ish, with blinkered darkness swallowing up everything about ten minutes after the listed sunset. Yes, I know that "Civil Twilight" doesn't end for another hour. I'm pretty sure whoever comes up with those civil twilight designations is taking measurements at the flattest part of the Great Plains, where the tallest thing obscuring the setting sun is a gopher. Or ground hog. Whatever they are out in the golden west.

One of the worst aspects of Standard Time is knowing that the days are getting squeezed from both ends, like a dish towel being wrung dry. Right now we're down to nine hours fifty-one minutes of daylight (keeping in mind those trees and hills blocking the view) and it's all downhill from there. We won't be back to this length of day until February 1st, and at that point, we in New England will likely be entombed with snow and ice. It's difficult to kick back with a cocktail and celebrate the lengthening days when you're trying to make sure the pipes don't freeze in the walls. 

Yes, our friends and neighbors have it worse in Alaska. They count down to five and half hours of daylight at the winter solstice, and I'm pretty sure the giant mountains all over the place means they're actually seeing half of that, in a way not dissimilar to the sun creeping into the cell of the Man in the Iron Mask for a brief interlude. However, Alaskans do have the benefit of a) crazy long days in summer b) the sweet, sweet checks from the Permanent Fund and c) Dana Stabenow.

I have a proposed solution of this unfortunate state of affairs; one now within reach due to the March of Progress. I move we set the official time of sunset at 6pm every evening from October through March. It's true that in the past, our reliance on analog clocks meant that everyone in every time zone had to have their watches set in lockstep, so that, for instance, Lucy and I can look out our windows at five o'clock exactly, but I will see grim leafless darkness and she will see palm trees and sunshine (because her sunset today isn't until 5:42.) But let's be real. How many of us use clocks with hands to tell time anymore? We're all on our phones/tablets/computers, digital devices hooked up to the internet. Correcting two or three or four minutes a day in order to keep sunset always at six is child's play for our tech overlords.

Speaking of children, I can hear your objections. "But Julia," you say. "Think of the kids waiting for the school bus in morning! In the darkness!" In the first place, kids love the dark. You practically have to get them into bed by gunpoint every evening. Think how much they'll enjoy the thrill of being outside beneath the stars during morning recess! Secondly, I'm pretty sure the number of kids who get knocked over by cars while waiting for the school bus is greatly exaggerated. The sun doesn't rise until 10 a.m. in Anchorage in December, and the papers aren't full of stories of Alaskan students getting run over all winter long. To assuage parental fears, I will gladly donate to a fund to equip all students K through 12 with appropriate safety gear. After all, as the proverb says, it's better to light a single LL Bean head lamp than to curse the darkness.

Let us rise up, peoples of the north, and take back our evenings! We have nothing to lose but our seasonally adjusted depression!

Spring Indeed

DEBORAH CROMBIE:  Today it is Spring by the clock if not by the official date, but here in north Texas it is Spring regardless of the calendar! There are no more freezes in the forecast. The cardinals are singing and the hummingbirds will arrive any time.  Here are a few glimpses from my garden.

 

That's the huge oakleaf hydrandea just inside our gate. I love it when it begins to leaf.

The bridal wreath along the back fence.

The native coral honeysuckle, which hopefully will grow up our pergola this summer, and will attract lots of hummers!

Carolina jessamine on the north fence.

And my favorite thing--the tiny, velvet buds of the little Japanese maple we planted last spring.

If all this doesn't get you in the mood, here's a little help from Gerard Manley Hopkins.

SPRING

Nothing is so beautiful as Spring –         

   When weeds, in wheels, shoot long and lovely and lush;         

   Thrush’s eggs look little low heavens, and thrush         

Through the echoing timber does so rinse and wring         

The ear, it strikes like lightnings to hear him sing;

   The glassy peartree leaves and blooms, they brush         

   The descending blue; that blue is all in a rush         

With richness; the racing lambs too have fair their fling.         

What is all this juice and all this joy?         

   A strain of the earth’s sweet being in the beginning

In Eden garden. – Have, get, before it cloy,         

   Before it cloud, Christ, lord, and sour with sinning,         

Innocent mind and Mayday in girl and boy,         

   Most, O maid’s child, thy choice and worthy the winning.

REDS and readers, what's blooming for you?

Spring Forward

DEBORAH CROMBIE: It's that time of year again! Yes, put the clocks forward! Change your smoke alarm batteries. Change your air filters. (Although I hate to think what our filters would look like if we only changed them twice a year...) Do you look forward to that extra hour of daylight in the evening? More time for grilling, or walking, or gardening... Of course for us in Texas, by the time we hit midsummer, that just means it stays hot longer...

Or do you just think Daylight Saving (called Summer Time in the UK) is a nuisance and should be done away with?

Did you know that "Daylight Saving" was instituted by the federal government in 1918, in an effort to conserve energy producing materials that were needed in the war effort? The theory being that with an extra hour of natural light in the evenings, less artificial light would be needed. After the war the idea was dropped until WWII, when it was once again mandated, now as "War Time." After the war, "Peace Time" was back in effect and the issue of daylight saving time was handled on a local level. This led to a great deal of confusion as different locations were constantly operating at different times. The Uniform Time Act was passed in 1966 to solve the problem. States were given the option to opt out of daylight saving time if they passed proper ordinances.

I don't think there there is much evidence that Daylight Saving actually saves energy. So why don't we just do away with it?

REDS, what do you think? Hate it? Love it? Want that extra hour of sleep tomorrow?  Let's have a REDS poll!

LUCY BURDETTE: Wait, we're springing ahead right? I don't like the changing in general--just about the time we figure out how to change the car clocks, it's time to change again. And here in Key West, we have a very civilized sunset celebration: have a drink, watch the sun go down and look for the green flash, and then eat. The change messes up the whole order of things. On the bright side, we're hoping this switch will dupe the cat into letting us sleep in. 7 am instead of 6 would be such an improvement!!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: This is a CONSTANT frustration. I hardly know what time it is on a daily basis anyway, so when it gets changed, it's  huge mess. And then there was the year that I changed all the clocks, and then...Jonathan did, too So we were SO off. Now of course, some clocks change by themselves, yeesh, and that's even worse because I'm always tempted to change the already-changed ones. And we wind up with less sleep. right? which is further confusing..
What was the question again?


DEBS: Hank, you crack me up. And, Lucy, I'm always ready to do that sunset celebration an hour earlier...

Although not, actually, when I was in London in January and it was dark by 4:30... That's teatime, not sunset!

As for daylight saving, I could live with the time either way. I just wish we didn't have to change it twice a year. Did you know that there's an uptick of heart attacks, illnesses, and accidents when we spring forward every year?  Messing with people's body clocks is not nice, especially when it means losing a hour's sleep...

However, apparently it's unlikely we will do away with daylight saving anytime soon. Retailers are convinced that the extra hour of daylight is good for business, and that's a powerful lobby. (A lot more powerful than the poor farmers, who hate it.) 

It's more likely that we would just stay on summer time--after all, we are already at eight months out of the year, so why bother changing for the other four?

READERS, what do you think? Would you do away with daylight saving, or keep it full time? 

Or just keep changing those clocks?

PS REDS Alert! The winner of Marla Cooper's Terror in Taffeta is Kim Davis.

And the winner of Glen Erik Hamilton's Hard Cold Winter is Mary Sutton.

Send me your addresses at deb at deborahcrombie dot com and we'll get you fixed up!