And the winner is...

RO: Forget about Barbara Walters making people cry...show me the dresses. If you had the perfect body and could afford anything in the world - or had it thrown at you for free..why in the world would you wear that?? An itty-bitty jacket that makes you look like one of the dancing elephants in fantasia. A frilly bathrobe with a blue belt?
The names stand out even if some of the hideous outfits have been forgotten. Demi Moore in the bicycle shorts, Geena Davis in something white and weird which I think she lent to Kim Basinger a few years later, Cher in the Vegas showgirl headress. (I confess, I thought Bjork looked cute in the swan dress.)

If the point is for us to remember them, no worries,it worked. And the men get in on this, too. Mickey Rourke? Ewwww. I prefer to remember him as he was in Nine and a Half Weeks or The Pope of Greenwich Village.

HANK: Remember--Celine Dion? In what looked like a jacket on backwards?

RO: YES! I thought she'd lost her mind!

HANK: My mother always says they wear those ridiculous outfits because they'll be certain to get their photo in magazines. It's the "just spell my name right" theory.
(When people say to me--"Put me on TV!" I always tell them--"You have to do something really really good, or something really really bad." Same goes with clothes, I guess.)

RO: No thoroughly ridiculous outfits tonight. Too bad. In fact, surprisingly tame and a little boring.

HANK again: Watching the show right now. Is it me? Is everyone weird? Did that woman just get up and start talking in the midst of the acceptance speech for best short? What was that Neil Patrick Harris song? "The best two since Dolly Parton?" That's supposed to be funny? I do like Cameron Diaz's dress. And everything by Armani Prive. And I keep saying "Who's that? Who's that?" Sigh.
But I must say--this is a WEIRD program.

RO: YUP! Every once in a while I think...who are these people??

Hank: What's up with George Clooney?

RO: Yes...George is on drugs tonight. Happy for Jeff and Sandra...but...WTF..that was so not the Best Movie. Do they totally hate James Cameron or what? And it's not just that I probably lost the Oscar pool at the party. I get it...war is not healthy for children and other living things..Peace, man.. but this was not about war..it was about the movies. I don't suppose it's going to hurt Avatar at the box office but it is a reminder that all awards are subjective.