Mother Was Right

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Tomorrow is, of course, Mother’s Day, when we celebrate moms - our own, or those who took us under their wing, or those who have stood in place of a mother.

 

My relationship with my mother was as complicated as most of ours are; I loved her very much and she could drive me crazy like no one else. She was caring, energetic, had a razor-sharp wit and would have been a CEO if she’d been born in a different time. She lived through a lot, and she wanted to share the wisdom she’d gained, thus, the driving-me-crazy part.

 

The older I’ve gotten, though, the more I realize, well, how right my mother was about many things. Being firm but very polite does make people want to help solve your problem. People will treat you differently depending on how you’re dressed. One glass of wine while cooking dinner and one while eating it should  be enough for anyone sensible. Investing regularly in a no-load index fund is the surest way to build wealth.

 

The most right thing she ever said to me? “You should be a writer.” Yep, it was my mom who first told me that was where my talents lie - and this was after I’d gotten a masters and a JD.

 

How about you, Reds? What was your mother right about?

 

RHYS BOWEN: I’m trying to think. My mother was not an easy person when I was growing up. School principal. Hyper critical  later we had a great relationship but I see now that she was overworked, over stressed and had awful migraines. I wish she had given me more advice but frankly I can’t remember much. When I wanted to apply to RADA she did say to get my degree first then I’d have something to fall back on if acting didn’t work. I got my degree and went into the production side instead. Was that good advice? I sold my first play to the BBC so maybe it was.

 

HALLIE EPHRON: My mother was a Hollywood screenwriter. WAY ahead of her time. For each of the four of us she picked first names that would still define us if/when we got married and acquired a new last name. And she wanted us to have real jobs, WORK and creative lives in a man’s world.  She was aghast that I wanted to be a teacher. Too traditionally female. It took 20 years for my expectations to catch up with hers.

 

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Most of the things my mom passed on to me were by example, love of travel, love of learning, an expectation that I could accomplish things. She worked from the time she left school and became an equal partner in my parents’ business. She NEVER encouraged or expected me to just get married and have kids. With only a highschool education, she fully supported my various forays in higher education, but when I wanted to transfer into a respected four-year liberal arts college, she insisted that I first take a secretarial course, so that I “could always make a living.” That turned out to be great advice, even if not quite in the way she expected!

 

 

 

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh, my mom was always right. Just ask her.

Sometimes, now, when something happens that I know she’d love–or more likely, criticize–I wish she were here to give her pronouncements. And I wish she were here so I could tell her how often she was right. I remember asking her why she was always so critical of me–and she’d say: “I’m not criticizing, I’m just observing.”

If I got an A, she’d be annoyed that it wasn’t an A-plus.  Nothing was ever ever enough.  I’m not sure I’ve ever stopped trying to please her. And you know, that might not actually be a bad thing. 

Her advice: Never have your photo taken holding a glass of wine. Never wear a color not found in nature. And, a word for word maxim, “thoughtful consideration of others is the sign of a true lady.”

 

 

LUCY BURDETTE: Like Debs, I think I learned more from my mother by watching than her pronouncements. She loved animals, her family, food, reading. I did not learn about her desserts from her as she didn’t have a sweet tooth and wasn’t a baker except for Christmas cookies and birthday cakes (I think the latter were from mixes.) John and I always laugh about her sex education talk: “One day you will love a man the way you do your cat.” He says he’s still waiting:). 

 

Happy mother’s day to all mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, teachers, therapists–so many should get credit and thanks for taking care of the world!

 

JENN McKINLAY: My mom is one of my besties. She has the unique ability to love her people unconditionally, so even when her people do something thoughtless or make a bad choice, she is very clear that she’s in your corner and will help you even while calling you a dumbass. I think the best advice she ever gave me was when I was pregnant. She said, “As you start, so shall you go.” It made me aware that how I chose to parent the Hooligans would set the foundation for our relationship for the rest of their lives. Happy to say the Hooligans are now two of my besties, so Mom was right per usual.

JULIA: Dear readers, what was your mother (or mother-like-person) right about?