JENN McKINLAY: Hooligan 1 graduated from Arizona State University yesterday and the Hub and I could not be prouder, obviously. It's a particularly poignant achievement because H1 was not a natural born academic.
Proof? In fifth grade I was called to a parent-teacher conference because my darling boy would frequently just get up and leave the classroom when he was bored. To say that I did not see him graduating Magna Cum Laude twelve years later is a vast understatement (not bragging, I swear, we were so surprised)!
This got me to thinking about how we all change (or not) during our academic years. In elementary school, I was one of the top students and had an absolute fit when I got a B-.
By middle school, I had become a social butterfly and school was just a means to see my friends.
High school? Maintained the grades just enough to not get in called out. B's get degrees!
College? The first two years were spent on alcohol fueled shenanigans (endless shenanigans--some of which required community service in the dorm). The final two years, I found my major, locked in, and graduated on time by the skin of my teeth (and a lot of summer school).
So, how about you, Reds and Readers? What was your academic journey like? Stellar student? Hated school? A little bit of both?
Final note: I was unfamiliar with the ritual of the Stole of Gratitude (we didn't have that in 1989), so when H1 presented me with his Stole of Gratitude as the person who has supported him the most during his academic journey, well, my heart was full, y'all, and, yeah, I cried but just a little.
Being the smart kid was my entire identity. Pretty easy through high school, then in college I found out what it was like to be a very small fish in a very big pond. But I plugged along and was fortunate to have a very clear idea about what I wanted to do (civil engineering).
ReplyDeleteCongrats to H1 and his happy parents!
Jenn, I envy you the experience of getting to see your son graduate from college. Our son got his Bachelor’s in May 2020 and his Master’s after he’d moved away from the area near his university (since he could finish his program online) so he never went through a ceremony. I realize many people missed out on participating in their own graduation or watching their offspring due to Covid, but as a parent, it still hurts to have not gotten that moment.
ReplyDeleteAs far as my own education went, I was a pretty good student in high school but was kind of bored. I mentioned something aloud about not going to college and suddenly my parents were pushing typing and shorthand classes on me. Obviously if I wasn’t going to college, I’d need to know how to do secretarial work. What??! I’d have to work?? I changed my tune very quickly and went away to school where I had a great time and graduated after four years (which was as long as my parents had said they’d pay). For the record, my sister was the first college graduate on both sides of our family and I was the second. And while it sounds like I didn’t appreciate the sacrifices my parents made on my behalf, I may not have at age 18, but I did by the time I graduated. — Pat S. (Congratulations to H1 and his parents!)
I liked school and always gave it my best effort . . . . Congratulations to your son, Jenn, and to his parents . . . what a fantastic achievement!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Hooligan 1 on his college graduation and to his parents who went on this journey with him.
ReplyDeleteI was a stellar student. I was also the first person in my family to graduate from college.
that's wonderful Dru--how proud they must have been!
DeleteBravo, Dru! I'm always SO impressed by people who are the first to go to college.
DeleteYay for H1 - isn't it great when our kids surprise us? And he's a film major? That's very cool.
ReplyDeleteI was a top student all the way through, boring, although I did have more fun in high school that my even-more-studious older sisters who didn't date at all.
One of my sons demonstrated that changing academic landscape thing. In elementary school, Allan got As without sneezing. Then came the three years of rebellious terror but he mostly did his work. High school? My loner brilliant kid just didn't care, and I think undiagnosed ADD was part of that. College - free tuition at Boston U because of his professor father, and he managed to finish in four undistinguished years. But then - he moved to Maryland for love, got himself a great job working with with databases (my history geek is good at that?) at Georgetown University, earned a free after-work masters degree, and still manages a group for Georgetown's development office permanently from home in western MA (with amazing benefits) and is a fabulous husband and father to boot. He always had to do it his way and only when he was ready.
I meant to add that I loved college and a few years later earning a doctorate. So many new things to learn.
DeleteOh, Jenn, the stole of gratitude is a wonderful new tradition. My daughter of the heart honored me at her graduation with a BSN 2 years ago. Many tears from both of us. Congratulations to Hooligan 1 and you. Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Jenn! You look very happy. (Selden)
ReplyDeleteI love the stole Jenn--so well deserved!
ReplyDeleteFor me, while occasionally book smart, school was just a means of interrupting my day with a lot of crap I didn't care about. If I gave a damn about a subject, then I would work at it and sometimes even do really well. Usually in English class but I was good in Accounting and other classes as well. The classes I didn't do well in were the ones that I was either forced to take because other classes weren't available or I wasn't much good at in the first place. (Geometry, Algebra, French).
ReplyDeleteEven before high school, I had issues with teachers and when you have a personality that won't put up with BS from anyone, it is a problem. I had a 6th grade teacher who would take my work, grade it and then say I didn't turn it in. How do I know this? One day I was at his desk for something or other and I looked down at his trash basket and right there on the top was an assignment he said I hadn't done. Yet the grade on the paper said otherwise. F that guy.
7th grade was the HOMEROOM teacher who would invent reasons to throw me out of class. F that guy.
Senior year of high school, an English teacher who I didn't even have a class with decided to start with me. She was a liar and I was stubbornly refusing to let her accuse me of breaking rules while she was breaking rules AS she accused me. I do NOT suffer fools gladly.
Of course, then I had teachers that I loved and while I may not run through walls or anything for them, I would be in their classes, doing the work and we never had a problem.
It just all depends on how someone acts towards me, because even then...you get what you give.
Congrats to you and yours! Getting a kid through college is a major achievement for the whole family.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to H1! How wonderful that he found his passion, because that is no doubt why he excelled. There is no motivation like the drive to explore a deep interest in a topic.
ReplyDeleteWe've had umpteen graduations in our family, from elementary, to high school, to various levels of grad school, but I'd never heard of the Stole of Gratitude. What a lovely new tradition. When my oldest got her Masters in diabetes education from Columbia, the director of the program gave me a certificate as a support person, which was a sweet surprise.
Congratulations to Hooligan 1 and his happy parents !
ReplyDeleteElementary and secondary school were fairly easy with good grades. College was harder but I’ve always loved learning and studying and it was not a rebellious or a party period for me.
If I had been able to earn my living as a student I would have chosen this career.
Congratulations to Hooligan #1 on his incredible achievement! Just as Karen said, he found his passion. Let us know of any film project he is involved with in the future!
ReplyDeleteMazel tov on your Stole of Gratitude. The photo of you and your glowing son is gorgeous!
Eeek! I still have nightmares about having to return to high school! Hated high school (was very bored and the cliques -yikes) and barely graduated. LOVED college (had to do several interviews to plead my case after my poor high schools grades. Fortunately, an admissions officer understood my plight and gave me a chance!). Was treated like an adult, had interesting classes, and did internships related to my field of study. Graduated with honors and accepted to grad school. Master’s degree was more of the same. After grad school, I wrote a letter to my crummy high school guidance counselor (who literally told me not to consider college because it wasn’t for me…). I was able to share with him my experience in high school and hoped that he would not write off other students, who, like me, did not thrive in that environment, but who are smart and capable in the right academic situation. I have been working as an independently licensed mental health therapist and have worked with (and helped) thousands of patients and clients in the Veterans Administration, people who are overcoming addiction, and kids who struggle with mental health conditions. I am so glad I didn’t listen to that jerk who could have derailed my life! Being taught to believe in myself by my parents and grandmother was the greatest gift in my life.
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful, well done mom! Congratulations to H1! The Stole of Gratitude is a great tradition!
ReplyDeleteMy son is very bright, but had a bit of a rocky road (a high school teacher rightly called his crumpled homework 'failed origami') with lots of stops and starts and changes of plans, but now he's finishing his third year in a PhD program and seems settled. Yay.
Look at H1 standing so tall besides proud Mom! What a wonderful moment--thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMuch like Lisa in Long Beach, I was labeled 'smartest person' in my class early on--which didn't do anything for my social life, especially given how shy I was! In college, I was very much afraid that I'd find myself a small fish in a bigger pond since I came from a small rural school. Let's just say that we had some great teachers in that small school!