JENN McKINLAY: Hooligan 1 graduated from Arizona State University yesterday and the Hub and I could not be prouder, obviously. It's a particularly poignant achievement because H1 was not a natural born academic.
Proof? In fifth grade I was called to a parent-teacher conference because my darling boy would frequently just get up and leave the classroom when he was bored. To say that I did not see him graduating Magna Cum Laude twelve years later is a vast understatement (not bragging, I swear, we were so surprised)!
This got me to thinking about how we all change (or not) during our academic years. In elementary school, I was one of the top students and had an absolute fit when I got a B-.
By middle school, I had become a social butterfly and school was just a means to see my friends.
High school? Maintained the grades just enough to not get in called out. B's get degrees!
College? The first two years were spent on alcohol fueled shenanigans (endless shenanigans--some of which required community service in the dorm). The final two years, I found my major, locked in, and graduated on time by the skin of my teeth (and a lot of summer school).
So, how about you, Reds and Readers? What was your academic journey like? Stellar student? Hated school? A little bit of both?
Final note: I was unfamiliar with the ritual of the Stole of Gratitude (we didn't have that in 1989), so when H1 presented me with his Stole of Gratitude as the person who has supported him the most during his academic journey, well, my heart was full, y'all, and, yeah, I cried but just a little.
Being the smart kid was my entire identity. Pretty easy through high school, then in college I found out what it was like to be a very small fish in a very big pond. But I plugged along and was fortunate to have a very clear idea about what I wanted to do (civil engineering).
ReplyDeleteCongrats to H1 and his happy parents!
Finding your passion is definitely key.
DeleteJenn, I envy you the experience of getting to see your son graduate from college. Our son got his Bachelor’s in May 2020 and his Master’s after he’d moved away from the area near his university (since he could finish his program online) so he never went through a ceremony. I realize many people missed out on participating in their own graduation or watching their offspring due to Covid, but as a parent, it still hurts to have not gotten that moment.
ReplyDeleteAs far as my own education went, I was a pretty good student in high school but was kind of bored. I mentioned something aloud about not going to college and suddenly my parents were pushing typing and shorthand classes on me. Obviously if I wasn’t going to college, I’d need to know how to do secretarial work. What??! I’d have to work?? I changed my tune very quickly and went away to school where I had a great time and graduated after four years (which was as long as my parents had said they’d pay). For the record, my sister was the first college graduate on both sides of our family and I was the second. And while it sounds like I didn’t appreciate the sacrifices my parents made on my behalf, I may not have at age 18, but I did by the time I graduated. — Pat S. (Congratulations to H1 and his parents!)
Pat - Two of my nephews had no senior year in high school. It was definitely a loss in 2020. I feel for you.
DeleteI liked school and always gave it my best effort . . . . Congratulations to your son, Jenn, and to his parents . . . what a fantastic achievement!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joan!
DeleteCongratulations to Hooligan 1 on his college graduation and to his parents who went on this journey with him.
ReplyDeleteI was a stellar student. I was also the first person in my family to graduate from college.
that's wonderful Dru--how proud they must have been!
DeleteBravo, Dru! I'm always SO impressed by people who are the first to go to college.
DeleteThat's fabulous, Dru!!!
DeleteYay for H1 - isn't it great when our kids surprise us? And he's a film major? That's very cool.
ReplyDeleteI was a top student all the way through, boring, although I did have more fun in high school that my even-more-studious older sisters who didn't date at all.
One of my sons demonstrated that changing academic landscape thing. In elementary school, Allan got As without sneezing. Then came the three years of rebellious terror but he mostly did his work. High school? My loner brilliant kid just didn't care, and I think undiagnosed ADD was part of that. College - free tuition at Boston U because of his professor father, and he managed to finish in four undistinguished years. But then - he moved to Maryland for love, got himself a great job working with with databases (my history geek is good at that?) at Georgetown University, earned a free after-work masters degree, and still manages a group for Georgetown's development office permanently from home in western MA (with amazing benefits) and is a fabulous husband and father to boot. He always had to do it his way and only when he was ready.
I meant to add that I loved college and a few years later earning a doctorate. So many new things to learn.
DeleteI did come to love college, too, but I do think it was finding something I loved to study.
DeleteOh, Jenn, the stole of gratitude is a wonderful new tradition. My daughter of the heart honored me at her graduation with a BSN 2 years ago. Many tears from both of us. Congratulations to Hooligan 1 and you. Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteI love this, Elisabeth!
DeleteCongratulations, Jenn! You look very happy. (Selden)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Selden!
DeleteI love the stole Jenn--so well deserved!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lucy!
DeleteFor me, while occasionally book smart, school was just a means of interrupting my day with a lot of crap I didn't care about. If I gave a damn about a subject, then I would work at it and sometimes even do really well. Usually in English class but I was good in Accounting and other classes as well. The classes I didn't do well in were the ones that I was either forced to take because other classes weren't available or I wasn't much good at in the first place. (Geometry, Algebra, French).
ReplyDeleteEven before high school, I had issues with teachers and when you have a personality that won't put up with BS from anyone, it is a problem. I had a 6th grade teacher who would take my work, grade it and then say I didn't turn it in. How do I know this? One day I was at his desk for something or other and I looked down at his trash basket and right there on the top was an assignment he said I hadn't done. Yet the grade on the paper said otherwise. F that guy.
7th grade was the HOMEROOM teacher who would invent reasons to throw me out of class. F that guy.
Senior year of high school, an English teacher who I didn't even have a class with decided to start with me. She was a liar and I was stubbornly refusing to let her accuse me of breaking rules while she was breaking rules AS she accused me. I do NOT suffer fools gladly.
Of course, then I had teachers that I loved and while I may not run through walls or anything for them, I would be in their classes, doing the work and we never had a problem.
It just all depends on how someone acts towards me, because even then...you get what you give.
You sound Like Hooligan 2, Jay. We always say his BS meter is fine tuned and he's had many of the same experiences with teachers. He's pursuing a degree now but we'll see...
DeleteCongrats to you and yours! Getting a kid through college is a major achievement for the whole family.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Margaret!
DeleteCongratulations to H1! How wonderful that he found his passion, because that is no doubt why he excelled. There is no motivation like the drive to explore a deep interest in a topic.
ReplyDeleteWe've had umpteen graduations in our family, from elementary, to high school, to various levels of grad school, but I'd never heard of the Stole of Gratitude. What a lovely new tradition. When my oldest got her Masters in diabetes education from Columbia, the director of the program gave me a certificate as a support person, which was a sweet surprise.
It is nice being recognized as a supporter, isn't it?
DeleteCongratulations to Hooligan 1 and his happy parents !
ReplyDeleteElementary and secondary school were fairly easy with good grades. College was harder but I’ve always loved learning and studying and it was not a rebellious or a party period for me.
If I had been able to earn my living as a student I would have chosen this career.
Me too, Danielle. I loved being a student.
DeleteWhen I left school, I felt that way. I realized there was so much more I wanted to learn, being a librarian was my solution.
DeleteCongratulations to Hooligan #1 on his incredible achievement! Just as Karen said, he found his passion. Let us know of any film project he is involved with in the future!
ReplyDeleteMazel tov on your Stole of Gratitude. The photo of you and your glowing son is gorgeous!
Thank you, Judy! I will definitely let you know!
DeleteEeek! I still have nightmares about having to return to high school! Hated high school (was very bored and the cliques -yikes) and barely graduated. LOVED college (had to do several interviews to plead my case after my poor high schools grades. Fortunately, an admissions officer understood my plight and gave me a chance!). Was treated like an adult, had interesting classes, and did internships related to my field of study. Graduated with honors and accepted to grad school. Master’s degree was more of the same. After grad school, I wrote a letter to my crummy high school guidance counselor (who literally told me not to consider college because it wasn’t for me…). I was able to share with him my experience in high school and hoped that he would not write off other students, who, like me, did not thrive in that environment, but who are smart and capable in the right academic situation. I have been working as an independently licensed mental health therapist and have worked with (and helped) thousands of patients and clients in the Veterans Administration, people who are overcoming addiction, and kids who struggle with mental health conditions. I am so glad I didn’t listen to that jerk who could have derailed my life! Being taught to believe in myself by my parents and grandmother was the greatest gift in my life.
ReplyDeleteWow. What a great story, Stacia - I wonder, did that a-hole write you back?? Youare doing great work. We know so many in my kids' generation who've died much too young and pointlessly from drugs.
DeleteTHIS! I really think educators in high school are so attuned to the test scores and such that they're missing the truly talented students who could excel in a different environment. Congrats to you. I love that proved him WRONG.
DeleteSo beautiful, well done mom! Congratulations to H1! The Stole of Gratitude is a great tradition!
ReplyDeleteMy son is very bright, but had a bit of a rocky road (a high school teacher rightly called his crumpled homework 'failed origami') with lots of stops and starts and changes of plans, but now he's finishing his third year in a PhD program and seems settled. Yay.
High five, Gillian. As Julia once said to me when I fretted about my hooligans: "Boys take longer to bake." She was so right! Congrats to your son!
DeleteLook at H1 standing so tall besides proud Mom! What a wonderful moment--thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMuch like Lisa in Long Beach, I was labeled 'smartest person' in my class early on--which didn't do anything for my social life, especially given how shy I was! In college, I was very much afraid that I'd find myself a small fish in a bigger pond since I came from a small rural school. Let's just say that we had some great teachers in that small school!
Let’s hear it for those rural teachers! I went to the same school K-12 and my graduating class was less than 100. I jumped to a college where the freshman engineering class alone was 2000, with the standard of half of those people leaving the program in the first year, and I had a guy in 3 of my classes who got 1600 on his SAT. And while I wasn’t top of the class, I graduated with my degree in 4 years and got employment in a down economy, so success! Don’t be afraid of swimming in the big pond!
DeleteGlad to hear it, Flora. I feel that you thrive wherever you're planted.
DeleteMega congratulations all round, Jenn. What a great story. The Stole of Gratitude brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI got along well with school and classrooms, always enjoying the learning. Decades later when I became an instructor at a community college, I realized how challenging and scary a classroom can be for so many students. That realization opened my eyes and, I hope, improved my teaching.
That's wonderful, Amanda. Your students are lucky to have you.
DeleteSchool was where I went to be with my friends! With the exception of English class I did not do too well, didn't believe in studying. But I did super well on all the achievement tests they threw at me which told those in charge that I was lazy. Right. Because of those tests I got a scholarship, full tuition at a state college. That sounds like much more than it is because tuition wasn't all that much back then. I loved the classes in my major and did very well with them. I suppose I could have done a lot better with my other classes but I was the kid that went to bed and slept while others pulled all-nighters studying. I figured I wither new the material or I didn't.
ReplyDeleteOf my three kids, my oldest was not a student at all, but his brother and sister were honor society members. (They didn't get a studying gene from their father either.) Of my two grandchildren, the girl was high honor roll all the way and took as many advanced placement courses as she could, which mean she completed her college course work in less than three years. During her last semester she had a full-time substitute teaching job, which became a probationary position when she graduated in December. My grandson is not really a student either, but he can do all sorts of things with his hands, especially if engines and wheels are involved.
It's so funny how everyone is different. I only did all nighters my senior year to undo the damage in my previous years - oops!
DeleteHooray and congratulations to H1!!
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I was a stellar student from the beginning. The grade school teachers wanted me skip a grade in elementary school and transfer to a gifted program in high school but my parents refused. I am glad they did not allow it.
Instead, I stayed at Newtonbrook high school which was one of the few in Toronto that taught geology as well as geography. As mentioned before, I wanted to be a geographer from age 10. I took 4 geology & 4 geography classes from grades 10-13. (Yes, Ontario had an extra year of high school, don't ask why).
I was the first in my family to go to university. I got a 4 -year scholarship in the environmental stidues/geography program at the Uof Waterloo.
Another first in family!
DeleteYeah, that whole skipping a grade thing can be fraught. Maybe the academic part matches up well, but the social/emotional aspects can then be out of sync. Glad your parents made the right choice for you.
DeleteCongrats, Grace! First in family is a wonderful achievement.
DeleteCongrats to you and H1. I know how you feel. After dragging The Boy through high school and watching him flounder through a year and a half of college, he called me this morning to say he'd gotten two A's this semester (he is in school to become an industrial electrician and will graduate with an associate's degree next year).
ReplyDeleteMe, I was always a nerd. Always. I was in the gifted program in elementary school. Always top of my class in middle school. Graduated somewhere in the top 20 in high school. Magna cum laude in college, where I finished a bachelor's and a master's in four years because I had so many AP credits I basically started college as a sophomore. Needless to say this earned me a LOT of grief from my classmates (not college, but middle and high school) but since I didn't wear the right clothes or do the right things, well, it was my whole identity.
Congratulations to H1 and to you, his family who supported him and helped him bloom.
ReplyDeleteFor me education was a place to blossom. I was a sick child (missed 30 days of school in 1st and 2nd grade) and turned to books early in life to help me escape. I was, and still am to a certain extent, a perfectionist so school could be nerve-wracking at times. I excelled at math and ended up in advanced classes with older kids. That was not the best fit because I was small, late-developing and extremely shy. Still, I learned a lot and ended up graduating in the top 20 of over 400 kids so I was pleased.
I was the first person in my family to go to college. I took me 25 years to complete my degree as I was going part-time, working full-time as well as a stint to marry and have a child. When I finally graduated, my son attended my graduation. I studied many things and eventually found a major that suited me. I have a degree in Interdisciplinary Social Science which touches on psychology, sociology and cultural anthropology with a dab in women's studies.
My son never graduated from high school, finally completing his GED a few years ago so he could attend community college. That didn't stick either. He never has really found his educational niche, but he does love working with his hands and that has served him well through the years. -- Victoria
Congratulations to H1! Graduating Magna Cum Laude is quite an achievement!
ReplyDeleteOh dear. Where do I start on my educational journey? I think I already mentioned in other posts/comments in the past about the age I lost my hearing. So I will not go into too much details here.
As for me, I was a stellar student. My elementary school teachers graduated from Seven Sisters colleges and they had high expectations of us all as students, even if we were deaf. I barely remember my middle school years.
High school was a wake up call! While my high school classmates already had geometry and first year of foreign language in middle school, I did not, so I had a lot of catching up to do!
Got into University by the skin of my teeth! From the first day, I had to study. I am amazed that I had a social life despite my having to study all the time. My college boyfriend was very social and he helped me. While some students had to drop out, I managed to maintain my grades and graduated from University. I studied abroad. I graduated from University. And I went to law school.
Congratulations H1 - well done.
ReplyDeleteYou don't want to know about my educational journey. I attended (let's use that term lightly) the University of Miami from 1970 - 1974. At the time, their advertising slogan was "both semesters are spring." It was also the time of student fares. $60/anyplace. I traveled. I went to Jamaica and lived on the beach in a palm frond hut for a month, went to England and hiked for a month and ended up working quite illegally in a pub in the Lake District (wish I could remember the village - it's lost in the mist of time) and living over the shop. Had a great time. Hitchhiked and train rode throughout Europe for several months. Signed on as the sole cook on a cargo boat in the Caribbean. I couldn't cook. When that became evident, the sailors taught me. They wanted to eat! Can't blame them. I returned to Miami for midterms and finals, ending up graduating with three degrees and a thesis short of a masters. They wouldn't let me present my thesis until I enrolled in grad school. Never did bother with that. Seems, looking back, my academic journey was adventurer with a side of book learning! Wouldn't trade it.
Congratulations too H1 for such an impressive college record and finish! And congrats to you for your support award, too!
ReplyDeleteIn elementary school I made mostly Es (A) but a few Gs (Bs), so that was okay with me. But, when I got to junior high, I started making straight A(s) and there was no looking back for me or my mother. The grade of B was simply not acceptable. This followed me all the way through graduate school. Now, in undergraduate, I did get a couple of Bs, but I attribute that to taking the courses my junior year of high school and thinking it would be interesting to the history professor if I did my final paper on what he'd written his thesis on. I ended up with something like a 3.93 GPA for undergraduate, but I redeemed myself with a 4.0 in graduate school. It could be a bit stressful at times, but I really loved getting an A.
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ReplyDeleteOh, and also--we are off to my grandson's college graduation this weekend! You remember baby Eli? He's getting his degree in semantics and linguistics. AHHH!! Yay, Eli. (I guess he went to class.)
ReplyDeleteInitial comment from above with typos fixed!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great and timely post! Congratulations to all! And everyone looks so happy.
High school--totally the smart one. Until I decided (so silly) that it wasn't cool. I decided I didn't need to go to college, I was ready for real life, right? So I sent in my applications late. On purpose. Got into college ONLY because I think my parents pulled strings. In college--hated college!--either got A-plus in class or incompletes. If I like the class, I aced it. If I didn't like the class, I didn't go.
I turned out fine.
But if I had to do it over, I do it differently. I am an adjunct professor and masters degree mentor in creative writing at Drexel University now, and I think that's hilarious.
Drexel! My late brother taught at the med school there!
DeleteYou did pretty well, Hank, for someone who didn’t always go to class!
DebRo
Hi to H1 and his family. Congratulations! It can be a wonderful life, yes!!
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I am laughing at myself because all the feelings I felt during my academic years came flooding back reading your comments. My mother was told I was 'not college material'. Enter the fear of failure period, which was a long drudge of thinking and belief that I am not good enough. Looking back and knowing more about brain chemistry and development I think my brain did not develop according to the academic beliefs of that time period. To this day I cannot spell, and reverse numbers when doing simple math. On the other hand, I can tell you within a dollar what the grocery bill will be before the cashier hits enter. At one time I was fluent in 3 languages; now can still speak English and a smattering of other languages. Each day finds an opportunity to learn something new, and that is the point.
Both daughters have decided to go onto higher education. My CA daughter got a BS a few years ago, and Amy is taking a fun class to get her study habits back to speed.
Oh, Jenn - this is so sweet! YAY HOOLIGAN 1...and Yay, Jenn.
ReplyDeleteWell, I was the tallest in my third grade class. Sigh.
And beyond that I've been a "good" girl academically. No great but good and always finished on time. I admit to having earned a BA, an MA, and a PhD. Time marches.
I'm having so much fun watching my grandkids becoming who they are going to be. All the while my fingers crossed that they get the best advice and kind teachers.
ReplyDeleteI always loved school and loved learning new things. (I did NOT like the bullying.) I was a good student all through elementary school and high school. In high school, I ended up graduating as Salutatorian of my class. I was the first in my family to go to College. My parents were so proud! They were always very encouraging and supportive. (I can’t believe that graduation was over fifty years ago!)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to H#1!
DebRo
I was always driven to get good grades. Studied hard in college etc but my goofy grandson, the one who made his parents roll their eyes, is getting straight A s in college and going for his PhD. You never know!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Jenn, to you, your son, and your whole family. It takes a village.
ReplyDeleteI was the brainy, dateless girl all through high school. Classes with words were easy, numbers not so much (I suspect many of you were the same), and graduated in the upper 5% of my class. Thinking back to our topic of apologizing earlier in the week, one of the few apologies I got from my dad was 30 years later when he admitted that he and my mom expected too much from me academically ("But we knew you were capable of it!"). I have to give them tremendous credit, though - for two people who didn't care much for high school, they raised three kids who all graduated from college. - Karen R
I always tried to get top grades until. . . Somehow I didn't really care that much once I got to my junior and senior years of high school. Some college classes made me competitive, most didn't. Years later I realized that I had a form of ADD which explained a few things in my academic career. I bounced quite a bit in my schooling, due to moves, etc. 4 elementary schools, one junior high (yay), 3 high schools, 2 universities plus 2 more for summer school. Bleah.
ReplyDeleteJenn, huge congrats to H1!!! What an accomplishment! And I think the Stole of Gratitude is the sweetest thing I've ever heard of!! I would have cried a river.
ReplyDeleteI was a terrible student. Daydreamed through primary school. Got expelled in middle school. Dropped out of high school at 16. (Turns out I was dyslexic, which I think I've written about here before.) Got a GED. Dropped out of the first couple of colleges. Then I found my niche, in a small liberal arts college, and ended up with an honors degree in biology. I am now a distinguised alumni, an honorary doctor of humanities, and an honorary phi beta kappa. I was so lucky to have found my spot.